Callas

I am in my fourth month of sobriety and have been reading posts here on SR throughout. It is scary to read so many “day one” posts. I do know that many people here have years of fulfilling sobriety under the belt. Yet the number of day one posts keeps popping up. I have read that it is as easy as making a decision to never drink again. I am reasonably sure that just about every day one (again) poster at some stage made that call...and did not stick to it. If it was that easy there would be no day one (again) posts.

I live in perpetual fear of having to write a day one post. Perhaps that is a good fear to cultivate. Never underestimate danger and never become complacent.

Abraham

I also think one should keep track of how many day ones this is. Like I always say, this is my second day 9. If I have another day 1 I will call it my 3rd day 1. No one else seems to keep track of this. But yea its scary. Then there is the, it will get worse before it gets better thread about how long it will take which is very discouraging. Lets face it. There is nothing easy about getting and staying sober. Getting sober was not that hard for me, only took a couple days. But the staying sober part will take thousands of days if not 10's of thousands. The odds go down quite a bit mathematically. I have read of a few people who have done it for over 20 years though so it is possible if you are strong. At 47 I probably dont have 20 years left but will try my best to make those sober.

tomls

It always scared me to see people with many years of sobriety relapsing. Now I can kinda understand how it could happen. That little voice in there never really goes away. It will lay low for a while but is waiting for the right moment. I just have to remember where I came from and how much I don't want to go back there. I don't know if I have another quit left in me. I am impressed by the people that come back here.

Anna

I think avoiding complacency is very important in recovery. However, I don't think you have to live in fear. Recovery should not involve living in fear. I would hope that you would begin to feel free in your recovery. I think that when recovery is part of your daily life, you can always choose sobriety.

biminiblue

There is no way in bloody Hell I want to go back to the terror, sickness, fear, pain, of early sobriety.

I quit in the 80s just because it was time. I didn't count days, months, years, any of that. In hindsight it was easy to quit because I needed to quit. I didn't really value my sobriety, though. It was just one of many self-care things I had done at that time.

I started drinking again in the early 2000s, and I didn't even give it a lot of thought - I just picked up a drink one day for no reason and for every reason.

When I knew it was time to quit this second time it was deliberate, painful, and hopefully the last time. I really value my five plus years and don't want to throw away that continuous sober time; it's my most precious gift to myself. I believe that one drink would be my undoing. Again. Maybe not right away, but before too long. I already tested it.

John65

The day one posts inspire me as much as the old timer's posts.

The day one posts remind me where of I've come from and the old timer's posts inspire and remind me of where I'm heading.

You never have to have a day one ever again, if you choose not to!

doggonecarl

Don't lose sight of the successes, there are many. And if you were sober yesterday and are going to be sober today, you are a success too!

Regarding the number of day one posts, I've been an active member of SR for almost ten years and the uptick in relapses and day one posts is cyclical, or at least seems so to me. We seem to be in a surge, but the surge may be because the people who struggling are still posting, while when there is a decrease of day one posts, it is because those struggling are just disappearing.

So look at it this way: Day one posts are signals of hope, the start of a sober journey that we can only hope becomes forever.

NerfThis

I too am inspired by Day One posts. I don't see them as failure or something to be scared of, but proof that people want this to work. They wouldn't be coming back if they didn't ultimately want to end the cycle of day ones. I personally have only had one Day One (where I decided to quit forever), but I had multiple attempts at trying to moderate my drinking, so I actually class every crippling anxiety filled moderation fail as a Day One. I am a few weeks short of a year alcohol free and am always a little nervous that I could be posting a Day One post some time in the future, but I try not to overthink it and focus on continuing to enjoy my life without alcohol instead.

dpac414

Fly N Buy

4 months is a terrific start! Relapse does not have to be part of your story - keep doing the work and seek the support you need.

If I'm having a good day or bad day I am still an alcoholic, either way. Today I have a choice in picking up that first drink. So do you.

It's that engine that gets us, not the caboose......it's that first drink.

Keep coming back, friend

least

The day one posts remind me of how horrible I felt waking up that day over nine and a half years ago. It's a reminder for me of where I never want to go back to.

I don't know exactly what it was about that day. I was just determined to make good this time. And I have. And each morning I wake up sober and feeling good. That never gets old.

Dee74

I guarantee to anyone that if you don't want to drink again, you don't have to

If there's a part of you that still wants to, that acceptance of never drinking again is a good thing to start working on..

I knew I had to work on that from the word go, because if I didn't a week a month a year or even a decade down the track events would transpire and tickle that part of me that might still hold drinking in high esteem.

so I went through it all - what drinking means to me, what I thought it offered me as opposed to what it actually delivered....who I might be without alcohol...

If it was medicine or stress relief or to tackle boredom or social anxiety I owed it to myself to find other healthier ways of dealing with those problems

I've lived sober and I've lived drunk and I know which way I prefer

I understand that a lot of day one posts can be demoralising - I've been there too - but these days I try and look at it from another angle.

Newcomers has been my home here since 2007 - I see stories of renewal and courage everyday. People taking the responsibility back for their own lives.

to me thats powerful wonderful inspiring stuff

D

Delilah1

The day one posts definitely inspire me as well. The poster was brave and vulnerable enough to post again, I see it as the start of a new beginning.

I had a few too many day one posts, but now have three and a half years sober, I am proud of each and every day, and grateful to SR for all of the support.

Newbeginning421

Well people that are starting new threads day 1 post are the ones who need the most support and help compared to people who have lets say 1-2 years under their belt. People that do have over a year are not posting 13 months then 14 months so that is why you see an overwhelming amount of day 1 post in comparison. Not to be the math dude here!

bexxed

I think there may be more people who find this place, which is a good thing. This is my first day 1041 but I’ve had more than 1041 day ones. I probably posted fifteen day ones over five years I was actually a member here before I finally quit. How many times did I declare day one to myself and not reach out for help?

I think it’s good for people to know that there’s spaces for support. Some of them will never be back, but many will, even if it’s because they seek help elsewhere.

ImNotThatGuy

Me too and I think this is one case where fear serves a purpose. I don't know if I would "cultivate" the fear, but if the AV starts to talk, that fear is useful.

I'm early in, just over a month, and I like waking up feeling good, sleeping soundly, not having to live with all the other fear that drinking caused for me.

dpac414

My 24 Hrs. a Day app gave me this passage today, which I thought was a lovely coincidence:

"We have this choice every day of our lives. We can take the path that leads to insanity and death. And remember, our next drunk could be our last one. Or we can take the path that leads to a reasonably happy and useful life. The choice is ours each day of our lives. God grant that we take the right path. Have I made my choice today?"

I'm choosing not to drink today, and I just have to do that every day.

tomsteve

some fears are healthy fears.
i once heard that if i dont remember my last drunk i havent had it yet.
i dont remember my last drunk- i was a blackout drinker.
but i remember quite a bit from the day after.

Bobbieka

Good stuff right there.

Complacency is the enemy. That doesn't mean you live in fear. It just means you've created a new way of life.

Great job on 4 months!