My to do list. Now expedited!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 380
My to do list. Now expedited!
I was thinking about all the things I need to address so I could start organizing my thoughts, then I learned I could get a place in rehab in 2 days as opposed to a few more weeks.. I'm taking the chance.
I'm so scared. I have so much to do. I have no where to live when I get out. My daughter and ex will be moving hundreds of miles away while I'm in treatment. I have no local support.
Legal issues, financial issues, no job, no car, heck no license.
I'm pretty much freaking out. My head spun with a million reasons (excuses) to put off going in to rehab early. But I committed to it. Set up a ride to get there. Now to work on my list. I don't know where to start.
I have to get things out of my ex's house that will need to go in storage. Guess I can work on that today.
I'm so scared. I have so much to do. I have no where to live when I get out. My daughter and ex will be moving hundreds of miles away while I'm in treatment. I have no local support.
Legal issues, financial issues, no job, no car, heck no license.
I'm pretty much freaking out. My head spun with a million reasons (excuses) to put off going in to rehab early. But I committed to it. Set up a ride to get there. Now to work on my list. I don't know where to start.
I have to get things out of my ex's house that will need to go in storage. Guess I can work on that today.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
1st things 1st- recovery.
all that stuff-My daughter and ex will be moving hundreds of miles away while I'm in treatment. I have no local support.
Legal issues, financial issues, no job, no car, heck no license.
would still happen if you didnt take the chance. now you have a place to focus on recovery and you will find solutions as necessary. youll find a support network, be able to get put up in a sober living home afterwards,find a job, work on the car and license, restore the relationship with your daughter,straighten out the legal issues,get your finances in order.
without recovery none of that will occur so good on ya for making the choice.
LOVE AND FEAR AS OPPOSITES
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
"Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I
don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly
indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the
mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the
definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in
spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
all that stuff-My daughter and ex will be moving hundreds of miles away while I'm in treatment. I have no local support.
Legal issues, financial issues, no job, no car, heck no license.
would still happen if you didnt take the chance. now you have a place to focus on recovery and you will find solutions as necessary. youll find a support network, be able to get put up in a sober living home afterwards,find a job, work on the car and license, restore the relationship with your daughter,straighten out the legal issues,get your finances in order.
without recovery none of that will occur so good on ya for making the choice.
LOVE AND FEAR AS OPPOSITES
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
"Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I
don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly
indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the
mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the
definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in
spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 380
"Faith" is a big word for me. I do know one thing. EVERYTHING I know has to change. I've been an alcoholic in mind and function my whole adult life, over 25 years at this point. I don't know anything else.
I said Yes to the early intake date immediately because I knew I would change my mind if I didn't. I truly feel this is my last chance at life.
The place I'm going is state funded and doesn't offer aftercare, but they said they do have resources I can work with but no guarantees. I'm terrified of ending up in a shelter after rehab. The one downtown, with a liquor store on every corner, yeah, that one.
tomsteve is right (as are so many others on SR). 1st things first. Recovery.
I haven't craved a drink so badly in the last 30 sober days as I did when I got the news this morning.
No drinking today. I'll work on my packing/ storage stuff.
I could use any support that's out there! Thanks
I said Yes to the early intake date immediately because I knew I would change my mind if I didn't. I truly feel this is my last chance at life.
The place I'm going is state funded and doesn't offer aftercare, but they said they do have resources I can work with but no guarantees. I'm terrified of ending up in a shelter after rehab. The one downtown, with a liquor store on every corner, yeah, that one.
tomsteve is right (as are so many others on SR). 1st things first. Recovery.
I haven't craved a drink so badly in the last 30 sober days as I did when I got the news this morning.
No drinking today. I'll work on my packing/ storage stuff.
I could use any support that's out there! Thanks
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,515
So glad you did this love....I am sure you will get lots of support and advice. 
Maybe you feel comfortable saying what part of the country you are in, perhaps there are SRs close by....I am in Columbus OH.
I still think the rehab people may be able to help re housing ideas.
It's so much to do and go through, but putting rehab first is the very best decision you could and will ever make. Everything else will be far more doable with some sober time and some good tools.
EDIT: I would like to help you look up resources for shelter/temp housing for people in recovery.... I think that this is the part that would be scariest for me. s
Maybe you feel comfortable saying what part of the country you are in, perhaps there are SRs close by....I am in Columbus OH.
I still think the rehab people may be able to help re housing ideas.
It's so much to do and go through, but putting rehab first is the very best decision you could and will ever make. Everything else will be far more doable with some sober time and some good tools.
EDIT: I would like to help you look up resources for shelter/temp housing for people in recovery....
I think that this is the part that would be scariest for me. s
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
I think this is the beginning of a wonderful new chapter of your life MF1.
Don't be afraid, but instead try to reframe it as an adventure--an adventure to get to know who you are as a sober person, an opportunity to become the sober person you are inside with nobody that knows you trying to put you back in the "alcoholic" box. There are advantages to family moving, you know. . .
Finally, you get an opportunity to have support and really dig down into what core issues led to the drinking in the first place without having to worry about taking care of a house or family, keeping a BF happy, or getting up to work and dealing with that stress everyday.
This is maybe the first chance you've had in your whole life to just focus on you and what you need to heal.
You deserve this--maximize the benefit this opportunity offers--It won't be easy, but it will be life-changing for the better if you make it so.
Post here anytime you feel tempted to pick up between now and admission, and we'll talk you down.
Good luck with your packing. Get rid of things that don't "spark joy" in your heart, and you'll have that much less clutter to deal with later
Don't be afraid, but instead try to reframe it as an adventure--an adventure to get to know who you are as a sober person, an opportunity to become the sober person you are inside with nobody that knows you trying to put you back in the "alcoholic" box. There are advantages to family moving, you know. . .
Finally, you get an opportunity to have support and really dig down into what core issues led to the drinking in the first place without having to worry about taking care of a house or family, keeping a BF happy, or getting up to work and dealing with that stress everyday.
This is maybe the first chance you've had in your whole life to just focus on you and what you need to heal.
You deserve this--maximize the benefit this opportunity offers--It won't be easy, but it will be life-changing for the better if you make it so.
Post here anytime you feel tempted to pick up between now and admission, and we'll talk you down.
Good luck with your packing. Get rid of things that don't "spark joy" in your heart, and you'll have that much less clutter to deal with later
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 380
I'm in East TN and appreciate any help I can get. My old MO was to freeze in panic when faced with anything even vaguely tough, then drink it away. We see how that worked out for me.
I can't express how thankful I am for this support. The rest of today and tomorrow are going to be very tough for me. But I know if I drink, I don't get in. Must have 3 days sobriety for residential rehab. I have 30, I'm not going to blow it this time.
I can do this.
I can't express how thankful I am for this support. The rest of today and tomorrow are going to be very tough for me. But I know if I drink, I don't get in. Must have 3 days sobriety for residential rehab. I have 30, I'm not going to blow it this time.
I can do this.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,515
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
How's the packing going? Did you remember to eat lunch yet?
Don't forget HALT--take care of yourself and you will manage better and more easily the next few days. In case you haven't heard of that yet, it stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
Getting into any or more than one of the above situations makes it easier to relapse. I know when I'm really craving, ice cream, and plenty of it, helps hugely
Don't forget HALT--take care of yourself and you will manage better and more easily the next few days. In case you haven't heard of that yet, it stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.
Getting into any or more than one of the above situations makes it easier to relapse. I know when I'm really craving, ice cream, and plenty of it, helps hugely
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 380
Thanks Hawkeye - Packing process has started with laundry. That's in progress now. I DID make myself stop and eat, and it helped. I literally had to make myself do it, didn't really feel hungry. But like I said, it helped stabilize me a bit.
I have some help (financially) in getting a few things from the store before I go, hygiene stuff mostly so I'm working on that list. Sad to say I'm hoping I can get a few packs of cigarettes for the start too. I'll tackle quitting those at another time!
venuscat - I've bookmarked those links and wrote them down so I can discuss the options with my counselor at the treatment center. Thanks for doing the research!
I have some help (financially) in getting a few things from the store before I go, hygiene stuff mostly so I'm working on that list. Sad to say I'm hoping I can get a few packs of cigarettes for the start too. I'll tackle quitting those at another time!
venuscat - I've bookmarked those links and wrote them down so I can discuss the options with my counselor at the treatment center. Thanks for doing the research!
Member
Join Date: May 2019
Location: London
Posts: 232
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
1st things 1st- recovery.
all that stuff-My daughter and ex will be moving hundreds of miles away while I'm in treatment. I have no local support.
Legal issues, financial issues, no job, no car, heck no license.
would still happen if you didnt take the chance. now you have a place to focus on recovery and you will find solutions as necessary. youll find a support network, be able to get put up in a sober living home afterwards,find a job, work on the car and license, restore the relationship with your daughter,straighten out the legal issues,get your finances in order.
without recovery none of that will occur so good on ya for making the choice.
LOVE AND FEAR AS OPPOSITES
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
"Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I
don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly
indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the
mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the
definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in
spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
all that stuff-My daughter and ex will be moving hundreds of miles away while I'm in treatment. I have no local support.
Legal issues, financial issues, no job, no car, heck no license.
would still happen if you didnt take the chance. now you have a place to focus on recovery and you will find solutions as necessary. youll find a support network, be able to get put up in a sober living home afterwards,find a job, work on the car and license, restore the relationship with your daughter,straighten out the legal issues,get your finances in order.
without recovery none of that will occur so good on ya for making the choice.
LOVE AND FEAR AS OPPOSITES
All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49
"Fear knocked at the door; faith answered; no one was there." I
don't know to whom this quote should be attributed, but it certainly
indicates clearly that fear is an illusion. I create the illusion myself.
I experienced fear early in my life and I mistakenly thought that the
mere presence of it made me a coward. I didn't know that one of the
definitions of "courage" is "the willingness to do the right thing in
spite of fear." Courage, then, is not necessarily the absence of fear.
Agreed the fear is an Illusion , that doesn't exist however we created ourselves .You say it was learn in childhood that I believe so....You_Rock_ !!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 380
Just being honest here.
I don't want to go.
I don't want to do anything today.
I want to sit with no lights on and the house locked up and cry.
I can't and I know it. I also know if I had alcohol I wouldn't care about my responsibilities and would be able to melt into no worries.
I further know that's not an option anymore. So I'm still procrastinating but I have my marching orders for the day and will get things done, through tears and fears.
I'm struggling with how to pack since I have no idea where I'm going when I get out. I don't want to be stuck heading to the homeless shelter toting my good luggage (which would fairly promptly be stolen not to mention a struggle to lug around). But I want to be sure I have what I need and what will help my comfort level at rehab. I just don't know how to proceed. I guess I'll take what I need and deal with it when I have to.
I'm stuck in "what have I done???" thoughts and I know that doesn't help since I can't undo anything, only make forward changes.
YUCK YUCK YUCK
I don't want to go.
I don't want to do anything today.
I want to sit with no lights on and the house locked up and cry.
I can't and I know it. I also know if I had alcohol I wouldn't care about my responsibilities and would be able to melt into no worries.
I further know that's not an option anymore. So I'm still procrastinating but I have my marching orders for the day and will get things done, through tears and fears.
I'm struggling with how to pack since I have no idea where I'm going when I get out. I don't want to be stuck heading to the homeless shelter toting my good luggage (which would fairly promptly be stolen not to mention a struggle to lug around). But I want to be sure I have what I need and what will help my comfort level at rehab. I just don't know how to proceed. I guess I'll take what I need and deal with it when I have to.
I'm stuck in "what have I done???" thoughts and I know that doesn't help since I can't undo anything, only make forward changes.
YUCK YUCK YUCK
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
None wants to be an alcoholic - and I'm guessing not many of us would want to go to rehab - but it might just save your life MovingForward - and help you turn that life around...
do it
Best wishes!
D
do it
Best wishes!
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 290
I just think it's awesome you got 30 days sober before starting rehab! You're going to be so much clearer to get so much more out of each day than if you had to spend the first days/weeks coming out of a fog. They say the enemy comes at us hardest just when we're about to succeed...
I just got a feeling that you're about to succeed!
Praying for you today and through this process!!!
You're going to be so much clearer to get so much more out of each day than if you had to spend the first days/weeks coming out of a fog. They say the enemy comes at us hardest just when we're about to succeed...I just got a feeling that you're about to succeed!
Praying for you today and through this process!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
