Will try to post everyday
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Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 245
Will try to post everyday
Hey,
Well if you read my previous post I have had quite an episode in the weekend and well, to be quite honest I'm not really feeling like writing but I think it was Dee who told me that at least I could try to post here every day.
I'm terribly depressed, haven't eaten in almost three days or went out of my house. I don't know what consequences my latest stupidity will bring, and my anxiety is also an incredibly high level.
The only thing I know, despite being terribly depressed is that I refuse to die this way. It's just not going to happen.
Not a lot more words to say for now.
Best
Well if you read my previous post I have had quite an episode in the weekend and well, to be quite honest I'm not really feeling like writing but I think it was Dee who told me that at least I could try to post here every day.
I'm terribly depressed, haven't eaten in almost three days or went out of my house. I don't know what consequences my latest stupidity will bring, and my anxiety is also an incredibly high level.
The only thing I know, despite being terribly depressed is that I refuse to die this way. It's just not going to happen.
Not a lot more words to say for now.
Best
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Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
im sorry to hear about your depression and non-eating. But I would be willing to bet that the lack of appetite and negative emotions are caused by your self-recrimination and self-hatred for the stupid actions of the weekend.
I think you should focus your attention on some self-forgiveness and self-love and realize that it is not you that is stupid but rather you made bad choices because your brain was fogged up from the drinking.
Alcohol damages the brain and causes us to make foolish choices. So blame the drink, dont blame yourself. Alcohol is the true enemy that has caused you to lose the cellphone and all the other mistakes.
So just make a vow to stay sober and focus all your energy on that instead of beating yourself up. Keep in mind your inner child and when we beat ourself up we are beating up the inner child as well and that is a very mean thing to do.
We wouldnt treat a 3 year old like that, would we? I mean in the hurtful language that you have been speaking to yourself in?
Thats my suggestion. I am on day 2 and yesterday I really beat myself up....calling myself a loser, a failure.....an idiot who cant stay sober......and blah, blah, blah..... Same as you. Im going thru the same storm
It sucks but we all have to endure the misery of the first 14 days. It gets much better after that.
I think you should focus your attention on some self-forgiveness and self-love and realize that it is not you that is stupid but rather you made bad choices because your brain was fogged up from the drinking.
Alcohol damages the brain and causes us to make foolish choices. So blame the drink, dont blame yourself. Alcohol is the true enemy that has caused you to lose the cellphone and all the other mistakes.
So just make a vow to stay sober and focus all your energy on that instead of beating yourself up. Keep in mind your inner child and when we beat ourself up we are beating up the inner child as well and that is a very mean thing to do.
We wouldnt treat a 3 year old like that, would we? I mean in the hurtful language that you have been speaking to yourself in?
Thats my suggestion. I am on day 2 and yesterday I really beat myself up....calling myself a loser, a failure.....an idiot who cant stay sober......and blah, blah, blah..... Same as you. Im going thru the same storm
It sucks but we all have to endure the misery of the first 14 days. It gets much better after that.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
Purina said it so beautifully 
We need to nurture our inner child, not heap on more criticism.
We need to love and care for ourselves as if we were our own newborns....with tenderness and understanding.
As Anna said ~ please eat dear Hope. That is way too long without food.
I get depressed and agoraphobic....I haven't been out for some time now to be honest. But we must keep up our strength....you need food to work through the depression.
How about some crackers and cheese and a cup of tea? Just something little...
Sending love and strength....you can do this. xx
We need to nurture our inner child, not heap on more criticism.
We need to love and care for ourselves as if we were our own newborns....with tenderness and understanding.
As Anna said ~ please eat dear Hope. That is way too long without food.
I get depressed and agoraphobic....I haven't been out for some time now to be honest. But we must keep up our strength....you need food to work through the depression.
How about some crackers and cheese and a cup of tea? Just something little...
Sending love and strength....you can do this.
xx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 245
Originally Posted by venuscat 
Purina said it so beautifully
We need to nurture our inner child, not heap on more criticism.
We need to love and care for ourselves as if we were our own newborns....with tenderness and understanding.
As Anna said ~ please eat dear Hope. That is way too long without food.
I get depressed and agoraphobic....I haven't been out for some time now to be honest. But we must keep up our strength....you need food to work through the depression.
How about some crackers and cheese and a cup of tea? Just something little...
Sending love and strength....you can do this. xx
We need to nurture our inner child, not heap on more criticism.
We need to love and care for ourselves as if we were our own newborns....with tenderness and understanding.
As Anna said ~ please eat dear Hope. That is way too long without food.
I get depressed and agoraphobic....I haven't been out for some time now to be honest. But we must keep up our strength....you need food to work through the depression.
How about some crackers and cheese and a cup of tea? Just something little...
Sending love and strength....you can do this.
xxMember
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: S.E. MI
Posts: 1,025
Food is a good thing. Not having it just makes the jitters and anxiety worse. I would just have some Campbells soup when I did not feel like eating for too long. Or a couple tacos from taco bell always was stomachable to me anyway. At least slam a glass of water. Or better yet gator aid.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,521
(((Hope))) xxxxx
Don't Orios work really well for tears? I mean, you could dip them in milk and then use them to mop up.....
Comfort food....it is a good time for it. s
Don't Orios work really well for tears? I mean, you could dip them in milk and then use them to mop up.....
Comfort food....it is a good time for it.
s
Member
Join Date: Jun 2019
Posts: 121
Maybe try going to a local AA meeting. i myself dont fully ascribe to the tenets of their program but i do appreciate the socializing and people to interact with.
Especially since I was a solitary drinker by myself at home. So i find moping around at home for hours usually leads me to drink. Its too much of a trigger.
We need to work or even to do a project (a fun project) because if we just lay around watching TV or internet.......for me that is a well worn path back to the bottle.
Im lonely....Im bored.....Lets go drink........grab the keys and my wallet.......off we go.....
Thats how it starts for me. So it is important to break our pattern and especially to break our old drinking routine. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Perhaps its helpful to think of ourselves as a robot. A robot who's "default programming" is to get drunk. So if that is our default programming we need to re-write that computer code. And the way we begin to do that is to change up our routine. And empty stomach is also a drinking trigger for me. So i am concerned about you that you are sitting in the "danger zone" by isolating at home and steeping in your depression like a tea bag.
Break the pattern before the pattern breaks you.
Especially since I was a solitary drinker by myself at home. So i find moping around at home for hours usually leads me to drink. Its too much of a trigger.
We need to work or even to do a project (a fun project) because if we just lay around watching TV or internet.......for me that is a well worn path back to the bottle.
Im lonely....Im bored.....Lets go drink........grab the keys and my wallet.......off we go.....
Thats how it starts for me. So it is important to break our pattern and especially to break our old drinking routine. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
Perhaps its helpful to think of ourselves as a robot. A robot who's "default programming" is to get drunk. So if that is our default programming we need to re-write that computer code. And the way we begin to do that is to change up our routine. And empty stomach is also a drinking trigger for me. So i am concerned about you that you are sitting in the "danger zone" by isolating at home and steeping in your depression like a tea bag.
Break the pattern before the pattern breaks you.
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