Al34

Dee74

Welcome back Al

Its not easy - but it's not impossible either - not if every thing you do reflects your desire to be sober and you make recovery your absolute no 1 priority...and that focus gets easier too

Glad you made it back

D

Zucc36

Sorry to hear your struggles. Getting yourself sober needs to come first. Everything else will work itself out one way or another. Maybe not even the way you want at first. However, after you give yourself some time to just focus on getting yourself spiritually, mentally, and physically right, you will be able to put in the footwork to get to where you want to be. Maybe you can find a.couple of good meetings to help get you started in that direction?

DriGuy

It's not easy, but it's not as hard as spending one year in a college level math class either. I believe it is within everyone's grasp. Like the college math class, a good deal of determination is most helpful.

BrianK

I'm glad you said this since I think I often overlook it. I get so interested in the spirituality and meeting new people and their seemingly effortless ability to live sober and all the talk of letting go that it seems like I should be coasting along, and usually do for a couple weeks. Then I'll get really down and isolated and just choose to drink. I might have had to white-knuckle it for a couple hours, which I could easily do, but won't make the choice to grind it out. I'm making a point to respond for the selfish reason that I want it to help me remember to be willing to dig in and protect my sobriety when the next craving hits (which hasn't been yet...Day 4)

least

In order to stay sober, you must want to be sober more than you want to drink. When you get to that point, you'll be able to stay sober.

LiveLikeGold6

Oh how i so can identify with the title of this post!! Everyone has mas made great statements. I have nothing epic to say. But if u really want this you will make it. No ones forcing u to drink, and no ones stopping u either. It has yo start with u.

kiki26

FreeOwl

I tried to quit on my own, too....

then I found this place and tried to quit.... for about 5 months.

Then I tried to moderate on my own....

Then I came back here and went to AA and did a bunch of other stuff to support my choice to embrace sobriety and I've been living sobriety for over 5 years.

Welcome back.

Stick around.

D122y

About 4 years ago, I was about 9 days without a drink. I hadn't eaten anything because I was trying to lose weight for an upcoming competition.

I began to get light headed and almost crashed my car about 10 times trying to make it home. I had my young son in the passenger seat. Real horror show stuff.

I got extremely drunk that night and the next day was my day 1.

The damage from the off and on again drinking caused kindling. The years of drinks resulted in PAWS.

None of this is proven or documented anywhere. Even here, it doesn't count because I am not a Dr. My self diagnosis got me this clean.

I suffer/suffered mild to moderate drinking related PTSD. Again, self diagnosed.

Whether or not what i believe is true, I am still clean because of it. I believe it with all of my heart. I didn't (yet) need a Dr. to give me meds and diagnose me.

I don't want this in my records. It would change my world. Of course, relapsing would do the same thing. But, thanks to SR that will never happen.

I have role models and folks here that I have something to prove to. I know this may seem rediculous, but I use this place because I don't want...so and so... to tell me...sorry you relapsed...have you thought about AA, seeing a Dr., coming up with a new plan etc etc.

It seems funny, but I am talking about life altering effects if I relapse. I stay clean by any means necessary. I put on a happy and brave face, but sometimes inside I suffer like POW. I am a POW. The battle is with booze. My grace is God.

I am currently enjoying the sunrise, drinking my new DOC coffee, and gratefully still a non drinker.

Booze is poison. I don't believe the hype.

Thanks.

Misssy2

Checking on Al....I realized in my mid 30's also that drinking was killing me slowly and slowly stealing anything I valued.

Its good you have started the "thinking" process....You will get there....

Very hard to stop old habits...but you sound sick of being sick ...and I do believe you are getting ready to give not drinking a try.

Here for you.

thomas11

You made it back, and that's important. Best of luck to you.

ScottFromWI

How is Day 1 going Al? You don't have to go through it alone, we are here if you need some help.

BrianK

I think it means SO much to hear this! Especially if you're surrounded by other heavy drinkers. My former friends often reacted with "yeah, right!" or "we'll see..." Here is a friend, dying, and so few people even want to give them the benefit of the doubt. And the worst thing for me was, I wasn't even sure if I believed it myself! But we can offer forward some of the compassion we've received, and look through all the doubt and fear and past mistakes to the divine core of the person that would never do anything ugly, and speak to that, and hope they get closer to their True Self as well!

Anna

It's not easy, but you can do hard things.