Ready to start
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 27
Ready to start
Hello everyone. Today is the first day in I dont know how long that I havent drank. I drink wine and it has gotten to a point where I'm downing a good 3 bottles a night, and starting to black out more. I dont know what happened last night but my husband woke up really angry with me and we still haven't discussed it. I have 2 young children (5&3) and were apparently nasty to them on Saturday night. I am ashamed of myself. I feel like between Saturday night and last night, something clicked today and I said no more. Alcoholism and addiction run in my family and I'm really needing to gain control over this to save myself and my family, and not set a terrible example for my kids.
So here I am...day 1. I am happy to have found this forum!
So here I am...day 1. I am happy to have found this forum!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. 
I was a wino too, two to three bottles a day. My life was a mess.
I got sober for good when I finally knew I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Life is a lot better now.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
I was a wino too, two to three bottles a day. My life was a mess.I got sober for good when I finally knew I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Life is a lot better now.
I hope our support can help you get sober for good.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: New England
Posts: 1,224
Kids don't deserve alcoholic parents. I had them. Then I was one. I'm such a better dad sober. Give your beautiful babies a mom they want to be like. Give them the best of you. Give yourself that too. You can do this.
Welcome to this amazing community.
Welcome to this amazing community.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 27
Thank you! I'm feeling hopeful. I was of the mindset that it wasnt affecting anyone, but after this weekend I can now see thats not true.
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,286
Originally Posted by Peaches1234 
Thank you! I'm feeling hopeful. I was of the mindset that it wasnt affecting anyone, but after this weekend I can now see thats not true.
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out
Good luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by Peaches1234
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by SoberDad86
Unfortunately it's just precisely that thinking that kept me from putting together any real sober time, until I stopped letting my mind trick itself into drinking "just a few beers". Just my two cents.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2019
Posts: 54
Life will be better with no alcohol at all in it. Why bother trying to hold on to it at all? Why not find permanent solutions to your problems? Alcohol is temporary and tends to make things worse as you've witnessed yourself. Good on you having your first day sober. Life will get better if you carry on this way x
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
[QUOTE=Peaches1234;7157329
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out[/QUOTE]
Welcome. This place will get you sober if you let it, and you do the work Regrettably this kind of thinking though is just going to prolong your (and your family's) suffering. I've been there, as a father and a drinker, my life (and my family's) is infinitely better since I've quit for good. You're drinking habits suggest the same. Hope you get to the sober side sooner than later. Again, welcome you'll find incredible support and wisdom here.
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out[/QUOTE]
Welcome. This place will get you sober if you let it, and you do the work Regrettably this kind of thinking though is just going to prolong your (and your family's) suffering. I've been there, as a father and a drinker, my life (and my family's) is infinitely better since I've quit for good. You're drinking habits suggest the same. Hope you get to the sober side sooner than later. Again, welcome you'll find incredible support and wisdom here.
Reality...what a concept!
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: CT, USA
Posts: 1,232
Welcome Peaches 🍑 !
I too was a wino - would fill fancy bottles from boxes of wine lining the walls of my closet to hide the fact that I was finishing 2 to 3 bottles a day. I also had a hard time accepting that I could never drink again - even just socially. I learned the hard way that if I had one I needed 13. But with every passing sober day I miss it less and embrace life without alcohol to where it doesn’t matter at all if I never taste whine again. Sober time heals the obsession. Good luck !
I too was a wino - would fill fancy bottles from boxes of wine lining the walls of my closet to hide the fact that I was finishing 2 to 3 bottles a day. I also had a hard time accepting that I could never drink again - even just socially. I learned the hard way that if I had one I needed 13. But with every passing sober day I miss it less and embrace life without alcohol to where it doesn’t matter at all if I never taste whine again. Sober time heals the obsession. Good luck !
Member
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 120
Hi Peaches, I’m on day one also. Heavy binge drinker and I’ve been blacking out every time for years. I’m shameful of some of the things I have done or my kids have seen me do. For years the thought of never drinking again was what kept me from becoming completely sober. But my drinking just kept getting progressively worse and I drink in isolation. Or at least I think I’m hiding it. We can do this. I need to be a sober and good mom and wife as well
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by Lucy79
Hi Peaches, I’m on day one also. Heavy binge drinker and I’ve been blacking out every time for years. I’m shameful of some of the things I have done or my kids have seen me do. For years the thought of never drinking again was what kept me from becoming completely sober. But my drinking just kept getting progressively worse and I drink in isolation. Or at least I think I’m hiding it. We can do this. I need to be a sober and good mom and wife as well
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: St. Louis, Mo
Posts: 7,334
Welcome to SR! Glad you are both here. This place changed my life.
I wasn't sure I was quitting for good either. But when I tried to moderate it just didn't work for me. One day at a time is the way to start. If you look around there are lots of suggestions here to help you on your way.
You can do this, Peaches and Lucy.
I wasn't sure I was quitting for good either. But when I tried to moderate it just didn't work for me. One day at a time is the way to start. If you look around there are lots of suggestions here to help you on your way.
You can do this, Peaches and Lucy.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Peaches1234
I don't think I'll never drink again, but hopefully can get to a point where I'm in moderation in social situations. Not staying up til midnight watching tv and chugging wine til I pass out
everything you mentioned in your thread starter and everything thats going to come to light can-and will- get worse.
Giving up is NOT an option.
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 7,809
Welcome.
When I first quit drinking, I also hoped I could someday drink in moderation. It was a tiny little thought in the back of my head that maybe when I was a little old lady I'd be able to sit in front of a cozy fireplace with a single glass of wine. It helped me to get through those early days, in a way, when it was so hard and scary to try to imagine NEVER drinking again. Drinking was central to my life, and despite all of the damage it had done, I still didn't know how exactly a person could get through life without it.
So I did one day at a time. I tried not to think about FOREVER. That worked. After a while, when I had learned how to do daily life sober, through outpatient treatment and AA and lots of introspection, I no longer held onto the thought of someday being able to drink again. I feel comfortable saying I will NEVER drink again. The rewards of sobriety are so great that I am not willing to ever take a chance of losing them. I drank a lot like you do - 2-3 bottles of wine, a few times a week. I did things I will probably regret forever, but I do not have to ever do them again, as long as I don't drink.
My advice to you is to find some support and make a plan for sobriety. AA would be a great start. There is a lot to be gained from listening to others who have been where you are now.
When I first quit drinking, I also hoped I could someday drink in moderation. It was a tiny little thought in the back of my head that maybe when I was a little old lady I'd be able to sit in front of a cozy fireplace with a single glass of wine. It helped me to get through those early days, in a way, when it was so hard and scary to try to imagine NEVER drinking again. Drinking was central to my life, and despite all of the damage it had done, I still didn't know how exactly a person could get through life without it.
So I did one day at a time. I tried not to think about FOREVER. That worked. After a while, when I had learned how to do daily life sober, through outpatient treatment and AA and lots of introspection, I no longer held onto the thought of someday being able to drink again. I feel comfortable saying I will NEVER drink again. The rewards of sobriety are so great that I am not willing to ever take a chance of losing them. I drank a lot like you do - 2-3 bottles of wine, a few times a week. I did things I will probably regret forever, but I do not have to ever do them again, as long as I don't drink.
My advice to you is to find some support and make a plan for sobriety. AA would be a great start. There is a lot to be gained from listening to others who have been where you are now.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 27
Originally Posted by MLD51
Welcome.
When I first quit drinking, I also hoped I could someday drink in moderation. It was a tiny little thought in the back of my head that maybe when I was a little old lady I'd be able to sit in front of a cozy fireplace with a single glass of wine. It helped me to get through those early days, in a way, when it was so hard and scary to try to imagine NEVER drinking again. Drinking was central to my life, and despite all of the damage it had done, I still didn't know how exactly a person could get through life without it.
So I did one day at a time. I tried not to think about FOREVER. That worked. After a while, when I had learned how to do daily life sober, through outpatient treatment and AA and lots of introspection, I no longer held onto the thought of someday being able to drink again. I feel comfortable saying I will NEVER drink again. The rewards of sobriety are so great that I am not willing to ever take a chance of losing them. I drank a lot like you do - 2-3 bottles of wine, a few times a week. I did things I will probably regret forever, but I do not have to ever do them again, as long as I don't drink.
My advice to you is to find some support and make a plan for sobriety. AA would be a great start. There is a lot to be gained from listening to others who have been where you are now.
When I first quit drinking, I also hoped I could someday drink in moderation. It was a tiny little thought in the back of my head that maybe when I was a little old lady I'd be able to sit in front of a cozy fireplace with a single glass of wine. It helped me to get through those early days, in a way, when it was so hard and scary to try to imagine NEVER drinking again. Drinking was central to my life, and despite all of the damage it had done, I still didn't know how exactly a person could get through life without it.
So I did one day at a time. I tried not to think about FOREVER. That worked. After a while, when I had learned how to do daily life sober, through outpatient treatment and AA and lots of introspection, I no longer held onto the thought of someday being able to drink again. I feel comfortable saying I will NEVER drink again. The rewards of sobriety are so great that I am not willing to ever take a chance of losing them. I drank a lot like you do - 2-3 bottles of wine, a few times a week. I did things I will probably regret forever, but I do not have to ever do them again, as long as I don't drink.
My advice to you is to find some support and make a plan for sobriety. AA would be a great start. There is a lot to be gained from listening to others who have been where you are now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 405
Originally Posted by Peaches1234
Hi Lucy, thank you for sharing! Sounds like we're in a similar boat. Hard to wrap my head around never drinking again. Grew up around it being normalized, went to a top party school, my husband runs a brewery. My goal is to just focus on one day at a time. Felt good to wake up this morning not feeling like total sh!t. We can do this!
When I started working my program I simply wanted to achieve a state of normalcy. To be able to function in this world without white knuckling my way through cravings. Had I achieved that goal I would have been perfectly content for the rest of my days.
Instead I've found that the more time I have and the more work I put in, the happier I am. I'm approaching my second birthday and I've never been happier than I am right now. Not only are my cravings completely gone but the idea of drinking doesn't even exist in my brain anymore.
Just keep at it and the same happiness can be yours.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2019
Posts: 27
Went around and gathered all the hidden empty bottles and glasses today. An embarrassing amount, really. Theyre all out at the curb in the recycling bin. Came across a bottle that was mostly full, hesitated a few seconds, and promptly dumped it down the drain. That felt good. Feeling strong on day 2. Going to leave my wallet behind when I go get the kids after work so no temptation to stop off somewhere
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