listae

I am nearing 90 days and this is the longest that I have gone without drinking for the last twenty-something years. I was feeling really great but this week I'm suddenly super irritable and even angry. The irritability is even giving me a headache.

I just saw my addiction counselor and she said around 90 days the pink cloud starts to fade. She said this is when one starts to face some "big tests."

I don't want to drink but I don't want to feel the way that I am either. What are some strategies that fellow SRs have used when feeling irritable/angry?

I mean I've been meditating, burning candles, walking, listening to podcasts. But I feel pissed off.

Any suggestions?

nez

This too shall pass. If I never got pissed off, I wouldn't have a clue what deliriously happy is even when in the midst of it, because I would have nothing to compare it to. We are given a kaleidoscopic gamut of feelings and emotions to experience and that is what makes us human. Balance is the key. Don't get stuck too long on any one feeling, just let them come and let them go. Make some popcorn and take in the show.

listae

This is phrased in an enormously helpful way! I have never been one for balance and it is exactly what I need to practice!

Thank you new!

Dee74

Hi listae

I think it's also beneficial to remember you're going through the process of trying to find a new job right now - that's challenging for anyone and can make even the best of us a little stressed and irritable

D

Gottalife

I was prone to such feelings whenever I stopped drinking. They came from my alcoholic mind, a way of thinking and reacting to life that I didn't even know existed. A suggestion in AAs step ten probably saved my life in this regard. "Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear." is how it goes.

I learned that various combinations of the first three in my actions, always led to the fourth, though I could never see it at the time.

Anna

I found that exercising, which for me was walking/hiking, helped a lot.

Fearlessat50

Yes, agree with the pink cloud

Really like what nez said. . This too shall pass, and about the popcorn and the show My therapist would tell me to visualize my feelings as clouds passing or waves breaking.

Keep up with the meditation and what you are doing. Exercise is key as well. The other thing that I like doing is going for a drive. I do live in a beautiful area and near the CA coast, so I am lucky.

By the way, I’m over two years, and I still get irritable and angry. In fact I was that way the last two days. Today, I finally feel better Part of it is just life. We are learning to deal with normal feelings without numbing ourselves

Congrats on your progress!

least

It is normal for your feelings to be up and down in early sobriety. One thing I did that helped me a lot was to practice gratitude every day. It gave me a positive attitude and made me happier too.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/22/o...pier.html?_r=0

D122y

List,

I used the irritability etc. As a reminder that I was a pathetic drunk for way too long.

I will have permanent and irreversible brain damage for the rest of my life.

Sr has taught me this and also that if I relapse I will am guaranteed to end up worse than I was or am now if I make it out.

The only reason I survived was by the grace of God.

I was a dead man walking.

The only reason i haven't said...f it and relapsed,10 times by now is because of this site.

This booze thing is no joke.

Thanks.

BlownOne

I don't want to drink but I don't want to feel the way that I am either
This is called being human. It's what happens to normal people. They feel things. Sometimes very unpleasant things. It's one of the harder lessons of early sobriety. Feeling negative emotions won't kill you. They're just unpleasant. Alcohol may kill you. The feelings will pass. Remind yourself that you're just coming back to the land of the living and it's going to take a bit to get your equilibrium back. It's not impossible, just unpleasant. It can't hurt you. Hang in there. It gets easier.

PeacefulWater12

I had to learn to sit with those feelings. Feelings I had automatically sought to numb out for many years. Feelings pass too, that is worth remembering.

Also, as Anna mentions, exercise was a big help to me. I started off with doing some walks and have gradually added in a nice variety. Yoga, fitness gym classes, Pilates alongside the walking. Really helps my emotions level out.

AnvilheadII

my ex used to say - if you're gonna have a bad day, set the alarm, get up early and make the most of it!

another great statement - the difference between a bad day and a good day is about 24 hours.

point is, what you feel RIGHT NOW you will not feel on Sunday at 2:15pm, or next Thursday. you feel what you feel in this moment....this too shall pass.

and by the way, my Go To when i'm feeling hostile/angry? housework. best to avoid dishes or breakables!

MindfulMan

I'm almost 2 years sober and I am still very irritable at times (but that could also be hypomania sometimes). My shrink and I do narrative therapy...we even call him "angry guy." I think at first anxiety from recovery, especially in that post-90 day period (very astute to recognize this) plays a part, but I'm moving beyond it. Anger and irritability are secondary emotions and often are disguises worn over the primary emotions....guilt, pain, hurt, things that are even harder than anger.

It's all able to be worked through somehow.

kinzoku

Whatever it is, alcohol won't solve it.

Keep at it!