eachdayanewday

New to this forum. I was super excited to find it. Not ready to go to meetings yet but getting there. I went to a couple meetings with a friend years ago when she got a DUI. I went to support her and was listening to others and realized I could relate. I also was in denial thinking I could stop if I wanted to. Used to drink socially with friends and thought I don't have a problem if I'm drinking with everyone else. Then I was diagnosed with diabetes at 38. I was totally devastated. Quit drinking that day and was sober for 6 months. Not even a sip of booze or any cravings. I turned my health around and lost a bunch of weight. I felt great but realized I had mild depression after all the people I used to drink with (best friends) decided that I had changed too much. I ended up drinking a little here and there. Slowly a little more and more and hid it as much as I could. I noticed after my diabetes diagnosis I was super sensitive to everything. Even alcohol. I found a way to drink 0 carbs, low sugar drinks. Because it wasn't affecting my bg I started drinking way more. I used to it cope with my loneliness. Even though I am happily married with kids I was so sad to lose the social group. I am a super duper social person and it was sad for me to lose that. I work from home so I don't interact daily with too many others. I've been drinking for 8 months on and off. Some times was heavier than others. I find myself going on a binge to bury my feelings only to feel worse when I not drinking and feeling lousy. I noticed my Im more withdrawn from what I used to like to do. I have to make a change now. I feel like Ive lost so much time being sad and drinking. Not to mention forgetting so many things. I want to change just need to find my inner strength. Hopefully this forum will help me.

NerfThis

Welcome and it's great to have you here!

I relate to the lonely feeling. I'm from the UK, but moved to the USA a few years ago due to my husband's job. I was able to continue the job I did for the UK in the USA office, so I did have interaction with people and would go out drinking with colleagues on weekends.

Last January I took optional redundancy and decided to work on my art portfolio to shift to freelance. My drinking cut down dramatically, then ended completely in July. I'm at home all day every day alone. I made a handful of strong friends at the USA office, but we hang out on few occasions. I was SUPER social prior to this. In London I was barely at home, as I was always out doing stuff with friends, booze or non booze related. Before I quit alcohol I was still going to see the USA staff on a Friday to drink with them. Now I'm away from work and don't drink, I don't really see the people very often.

I wonder if there are any sort of groups you could join in order to interact with people? Something that can take your mind off drinking and off thinking about the time you've wasted drinking? For me I was going to figure drawing classes which really helped (until the teacher became obsessed with wanting to train me and wouldn't leave me alone, so now I have to find a new class lol) Or maybe you're a little bit like me? I let anxiety get in the way of contacting people to hang out. The booze used to get rid of that anxiety for me. I think my loneliness is more down to me being too anxious to contact people than it is sobriety killing my social life.

Anna

Welcome!

I think one of the hardest parts of recovery is accepting that we probably need to make some big lifestyle changes. And, that can involve changing friends. Since you work from home, that can be isolating. Do you have any hobbies that you pursue in your spare time? You might also think about volunteer work in your community, which is a great way to meet new people.

eachdayanewday

When I made the healthy changes I was always staying busy and spent most of my free time exercising. Then I kind of realized how lonely my activities were. Walked alone, swam alone. Then I started Zumba and have fun but not as much fun as the other ladies so I kind of pick and choose when I go to that. I even did a mini triathlon and had a great feeling of accomplishment after. Then to celebrate finishing I had a shot of patron and a couple beers. That bummed me out because I didnt want to but found a weird satisfaction in doing so. Looking into taking some classes. I would love to go back to school. Its hard because as a wife and mother I make sure everyone else is taken care of. Then Im last. When I was doing healthy things I made myself a priority and was amazed at how much smoother home life was. I need to make some big changes soon. Starting with today. I love having a support system. I am also part of a diabetes forum and find it helpful to make it through the good and bad times. My family is supportive and listens but I'm sure it gets tiring to hear me talk about it all so much.

least

Welcome to the family. You'll find lots of support here.

Ghostlight1

Hello and welcome to the forums.
You'll find lots of support here from people who understand, like me.
I get lonely, too. I live alone so it's rough to find new friends. I never was very good at that.

While drinking, I was a super social person, too.
But now, I keep my sober self busy perusing anything that interests me. Which is a lot.
I come here quite a bit. I hang around different parts of town, just to see, and meet, the people.
You say you've been to AA meetings. Why don't you try and go back? You'll be with people who share the same problem so you've already have something in common. And they just may help you quit drinking. And maybe make some new friends.
I found them very comforting and helpful. Not to mention I met a lot of new friends there.

Just wanted to say hi and welcome, and let you know you're not alone.
Best to you, and I hope you stick around. You can meet some great people here, too.

Dee74

Welcome to SR eachdayanewday

Like Anna, I made some really big lifestyle changes - cut out as lot of drinking buddies but reconnected with old friends, did volunteering in my community, started new hobbies and picked up old ones.

And the best thing is they all know me as a non drinker.

It took a little time and effort but I have the best social life of my life now - I'm sure you can too!

D

Bobbieka

Glad you found us! Your story sounds really familiar to me. I'm like the others - at first I didn't think I could socialize and not drink. Now - my friends are just amazing. I am living a life I didn't think I ever would - and I know I never would have if I had continued drinking.

Look around. Lots of good stuff here. You can do this. Glad you're here.

Purpleman

Absolutely Dee74. I don't have a massive circle of friends, never have really, but pretty much none of them ever saw me as an active drinker. It's like being gifted a second chance, except this time we get the opportunity to do "life" properly