Update
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2016
Location: east coast
Posts: 532
Update
I haven't been on here for over a year. Left XAH in November 2016. Enjoying life so much more! It took quite a while to work through feelings of guilt, regret, what if. I think the biggest shift change is seeing what really is there instead of seeing what I hope will be there. seeing reality instead of fantasy. Today, I recognize loving and caring behavior, and I am surrounded by people who deeply care for me just as I am, and don't try to manipulate me or make me feel guilty or unworthy. I have my life back! I am opening up to what I really want out of this life instead of ceding my wishes to another.
Last week I had some serious surgery and I need round the clock care for at least 3 weeks and then I cant do laundry, grocery shop, lift, etc., for at least another 3 weeks. So many people have volunteered to help and I am well taken care of. The prospect of this recovery by myself as a single woman was so frightening- but now I see it's normal and healthy and good to be kind and loving to others and sensitive to their needs. I had a simple surgery in 2011 that also required me to be off my feet and I was treated with coldness and indifference, but I was so used to it, I didn't see it for what it was. Even if XAH was not an alcoholic- which he was- his unloving and unkind behavior was glaringly apparent looking back. And I need to see it for what it was. So I guess when you know better you do better.
Well - hugs to all!
Last week I had some serious surgery and I need round the clock care for at least 3 weeks and then I cant do laundry, grocery shop, lift, etc., for at least another 3 weeks. So many people have volunteered to help and I am well taken care of. The prospect of this recovery by myself as a single woman was so frightening- but now I see it's normal and healthy and good to be kind and loving to others and sensitive to their needs. I had a simple surgery in 2011 that also required me to be off my feet and I was treated with coldness and indifference, but I was so used to it, I didn't see it for what it was. Even if XAH was not an alcoholic- which he was- his unloving and unkind behavior was glaringly apparent looking back. And I need to see it for what it was. So I guess when you know better you do better.
Well - hugs to all!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
qtpi, (((((((hugs)))))))) to you also. When I left, I also found caring and loving people. I was suspicious of that for awhile, because of what I went through, I just want to tell you that what you are experiencing now is normal, and what you went through before was not. Wishing you a very speedy recovery.
((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))
amy
((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))
amy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,644
Hi qtpi, good to hear from you and glad you are feeling so content now.
Sorry to hear you had to have surgery but glad it went well and that you are surrounded by such nice people. Hope you heal quickly.
Hope you will stick around and post, your experience and wisdom will always greatly contribute.
Sorry to hear you had to have surgery but glad it went well and that you are surrounded by such nice people. Hope you heal quickly.
Hope you will stick around and post, your experience and wisdom will always greatly contribute.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Posts: 816
qtpi, so good to hear from you 
You sound very content, happy,
and at peace with your life. I like what Amy said about what you are
experiencing now is normal! Wishing you a speedy recovery.
(one day I'll figure out what those letters stand for!)
You sound very content, happy,and at peace with your life. I like what Amy said about what you are
experiencing now is normal! Wishing you a speedy recovery.
(one day I'll figure out what those letters stand for!)
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