A brief backstory: I’m almost 9 months sober, living with my active AH. There was a big, nasty incident between us on 2-19 that involved him being in a blind-drunk rage. He has absolutely no idea what transpired on that day.

I have not not spoken to him since that day as I know, from past experience, that it is unsafe to do so. Today, however, we have a counseling session. Today is the day that he is going to hear it all: his behavior, the ramifications of his behavior, my stance about his behavior. I planned to inform him today in the relative safety of the counselors office.

This is is a first for me. Typically I swept issues under the rug, downplayed them, or allowed him to tell me why I was wrong and why it was all about his emotions/needs. I used to apologize for his behavior. So much wrong with that.

In the near two week standoff, I almost broke several times. Usually I ignore for a week then just go right back to where we were. This time, whenever I felt that way, I re read my post then read more posts by other members. That gave me strength to stand my ground and stay true to my convictions.

I dont know what today will bring. I just know that I feel very strong and sure of myself. I will not sugar coat or downplay the events.

Grateful for the strength and wisdom found here on SR.