Pacheeky

I'm to a point which is redundant. Repetative. I've been a new comer for 10 years. I've got so many rock bottoms that I'm ready to take that rock and crack my own skull. That's how sick I am of me and this bottomless pit that never ceases to end. I'm semi drunk right now...and am amazed that I'm forming words, least of all spelling them.
I don't know what to do anymore. I really am done with myself. I need to kick my ass into gear, so any wisdom is appreciated.

columbus

Suffer, for a time, and then put as much distance (i.e., time) between yourself and self-destructive (for whatever else kind is there?) drinking

and be done with it.

And grateful for it.

Do it.
It can be done.

And you are someone who can.

suki44883

Are you working any kind of sobriety program...AA, therapy, IOP, etc.? If so, you need to step it up. If not, you need to find one. Quitting drinking and staying quit is never easy at first, but it is a lot easier to handle with some face-to-face support.

Dee74

Hi and welcome back pacheeky

I dunno what to tell you - when I quit for the last time, I took the option of drinking off the table.

No matter what was going on in my life, no matter how I felt, and no matter hw justified I felt at taking a drink, I just didn't do it.

I leant a lot of the community here, and over time, I faced problems. and bad days and setbacks and in facing those things I grew into a person for who drinking was no longer the default response.

Its not a easy process - it was frequently uncomfortable...but it wasn't nearly as agonising as my addiction told me it would be.

Sometimes it was quite difficult not to drink...but my drinking life was difficult too.

Commit to change - and let your actions reflect that commitment - you won;t regret it pacheeky

D

Kaily

Hi Pacheeky, sorry you are feeling so awful.

I know it feels impossible to stop but you can. You obviously want to and clearly drinking isn't making you happy anymore.

It is as simple as not drinking but as complex as fighting a beast within with everything you have. No matter what ignore that voice.

Before you know it one day becomes two, a week becomes a month and a year becomes forever.

Make this your last rock bottom.

Take Care.

yinzer

I agree with suki. If nothing else works, commit yourself to inpatient or other treatment that takes the option off the table.

doggonecarl

What have you done? I know you been on SR a while, under different user names. What else?

Have you gone to AA? Any other formal recovery programs? Treatment? IOP? In patient rehab? Counseling? Therapy?

If you are really ready to quit, you'll go to any lengths. You'll have to.

ScottFromWI

How about stop drinking alcohol? And I don't mean that sarcastically.

Denial goes hand in hand with addiction, so of course it will tell you that you don't know what to do. And if you are drunk now it's especially difficult to see outside the confines of the narrow world alcohol locks us into.

But yeah - it's not rocket science. Drinking alcohol is your problem, and the solution is to stop doing it.