New and overwhelmed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 1
New and overwhelmed
Long story short- I was in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic for 7 years. Left 5 years ago. I didn't drink with him the last year, so that I could be supportive. He relapsed. Hit me for the last time and I called the cops. He went to rehab and I left.
I started drinking again because I didn't know how to process what had happened. Slowly over the past few years the drinking has increased. I drink alone. I can drink a fifth of liquor in 24 hours which might not seem like much to some I guess but I know if I continue I will end up in a very bad place and i know what that looks like. I tried to go to an intensive outpatient program but my insurance only covers after the deductable which I can't afford. My therapist is great but doesn't specialize in substance abuse and urged me to go. I'm also having a hard time accepting that I have a problem when sooo many physically abusive fights happened because I tried to control my ex's drinking and I hated alcohol for what it did. Here I am putting the same poison in my body. It's been 3 days, though and I hope I have come to full acceptance this time!
I started drinking again because I didn't know how to process what had happened. Slowly over the past few years the drinking has increased. I drink alone. I can drink a fifth of liquor in 24 hours which might not seem like much to some I guess but I know if I continue I will end up in a very bad place and i know what that looks like. I tried to go to an intensive outpatient program but my insurance only covers after the deductable which I can't afford. My therapist is great but doesn't specialize in substance abuse and urged me to go. I'm also having a hard time accepting that I have a problem when sooo many physically abusive fights happened because I tried to control my ex's drinking and I hated alcohol for what it did. Here I am putting the same poison in my body. It's been 3 days, though and I hope I have come to full acceptance this time!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western US
Posts: 9,009
Welcome Meg. I'm glad you found us.
You might consider joining one of the monthly "classes". The February 2019 class should be listed on this forum. Just read a bit of it and then post a bit of your story and that you are 3 days sober. They will be happy to have you.
You might consider joining one of the monthly "classes". The February 2019 class should be listed on this forum. Just read a bit of it and then post a bit of your story and that you are 3 days sober. They will be happy to have you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. 
Joining the class of February would be a good way to get and give support to members who are also getting sober this month. It helps to have lots of support.
I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.
Joining the class of February would be a good way to get and give support to members who are also getting sober this month. It helps to have lots of support. I hope our support can help you stay sober for good.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 986
Welcome! Thanks for sharing your powerful story. You're not at all alone in your struggles; and you're a very courageous person! You're resilient and have a lot of insight.
I understand the fear of sensing alcohol creep into your daily life.
If you feel comfortable, join us in the February 2019 class. You'll find a lot of people just getting started or getting started again this month.
I'm not a counselor or expert. I'm just someone who is an alcoholic. All I know is the visceral misery of the addiction. I don't want that in my life. Alcohol was my abusive companion (not to minimize or compare with your experience). I've been single and self-destructive for twenty years; all I did for everything feeling that I had was turn to alcohol.
I feel for you and what you're experiencing. You don't have to be overwhelmed by yourself.
Join or read posts in this month's class:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-2-a.html
I understand the fear of sensing alcohol creep into your daily life.
If you feel comfortable, join us in the February 2019 class. You'll find a lot of people just getting started or getting started again this month.
I'm not a counselor or expert. I'm just someone who is an alcoholic. All I know is the visceral misery of the addiction. I don't want that in my life. Alcohol was my abusive companion (not to minimize or compare with your experience). I've been single and self-destructive for twenty years; all I did for everything feeling that I had was turn to alcohol.
I feel for you and what you're experiencing. You don't have to be overwhelmed by yourself.
Join or read posts in this month's class:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ad-pt-2-a.html
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hi Meg and welcome to the forum.
I was in a relationship where the only thing my girlfriend and myself had in common was drinking. She hit me. I didn't fight back, but it was a pretty sick relationship.
I finally broke up with her and stated drinking alone, too.
And I would for the next twenty years. So I understand a little bit where you're coming from. I hope anyway.
Have you thought of trying AA? I found it immensely helpful as well as coming here. There are all female meetings, if that would make you feel more comfortable.
I was putting away quite a bit of booze when I finally quit. That was ten years ago.
Good going on three days, and remember, you never have to drink again.
Stick around here, you'll find a lot of support.
Wishing you the best.
I was in a relationship where the only thing my girlfriend and myself had in common was drinking. She hit me. I didn't fight back, but it was a pretty sick relationship.
I finally broke up with her and stated drinking alone, too.
And I would for the next twenty years. So I understand a little bit where you're coming from. I hope anyway.
Have you thought of trying AA? I found it immensely helpful as well as coming here. There are all female meetings, if that would make you feel more comfortable.
I was putting away quite a bit of booze when I finally quit. That was ten years ago.
Good going on three days, and remember, you never have to drink again.
Stick around here, you'll find a lot of support.
Wishing you the best.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
3 days of sobriety is great. Alcoholism is baffling and I think that's what you are experiencing right now. I'm glad that you're ready to do this. I think it's great that you are seeing a therapist to help you work through this.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
