Beginning my recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 3
Beginning my recovery
Day 1 for me - if I can get one day sobriety under my belt then I can do anything.
I'm 44 and I'm an alcoholic. As it tends to do, my alcoholism is getting progressively worse and I'm at a place now that I never thought I'd be.
I took a day off work today because I couldn't face it and woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and crippled with anxiety.
I've been to SR before and got almost 3 months some years ago. When I became complacent and thought I didn't need it I relapsed because I didn't think I needed to work on my recovery. I know now that has to be my number one priority.
I feel shame and guilt and loneliness and have a sense of impending doom all day every day and then I hit the vodka and pass out. It's no life for anyone and I've wasted long enough.
Thanks for being here.
I'm 44 and I'm an alcoholic. As it tends to do, my alcoholism is getting progressively worse and I'm at a place now that I never thought I'd be.
I took a day off work today because I couldn't face it and woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and crippled with anxiety.
I've been to SR before and got almost 3 months some years ago. When I became complacent and thought I didn't need it I relapsed because I didn't think I needed to work on my recovery. I know now that has to be my number one priority.
I feel shame and guilt and loneliness and have a sense of impending doom all day every day and then I hit the vodka and pass out. It's no life for anyone and I've wasted long enough.
Thanks for being here.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,721
Glad you made it back to SR!
We all have been where you are. Just take it one day at a time.
This is a new beginning and a new day. Yesterday is gone and all you have is the here and now! Move forward with a plan!
We all have been where you are. Just take it one day at a time.
This is a new beginning and a new day. Yesterday is gone and all you have is the here and now! Move forward with a plan!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Originally Posted by Cags 
Day 1 for me - if I can get one day sobriety under my belt then I can do anything.
I'm 44 and I'm an alcoholic. As it tends to do, my alcoholism is getting progressively worse and I'm at a place now that I never thought I'd be.
I took a day off work today because I couldn't face it and woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and crippled with anxiety.
I've been to SR before and got almost 3 months some years ago. When I became complacent and thought I didn't need it I relapsed because I didn't think I needed to work on my recovery. I know now that has to be my number one priority.
I feel shame and guilt and loneliness and have a sense of impending doom all day every day and then I hit the vodka and pass out. It's no life for anyone and I've wasted long enough.
Thanks for being here.
I'm 44 and I'm an alcoholic. As it tends to do, my alcoholism is getting progressively worse and I'm at a place now that I never thought I'd be.
I took a day off work today because I couldn't face it and woke up in the middle of the night in cold sweat and crippled with anxiety.
I've been to SR before and got almost 3 months some years ago. When I became complacent and thought I didn't need it I relapsed because I didn't think I needed to work on my recovery. I know now that has to be my number one priority.
I feel shame and guilt and loneliness and have a sense of impending doom all day every day and then I hit the vodka and pass out. It's no life for anyone and I've wasted long enough.
Thanks for being here.
Stay close, keep posting, right by your side. Just get today done. That's all you have to do for now.
Much love to you
🙏💖
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 1
Could be day one for me too. Trying to convince myself but not doing too well. Joined this site for inspiration & encouragement. I have been heavily drinking daily for years (heavy for normal people, average for me) cant recall the last sober day.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: Uk
Posts: 564
Originally Posted by TheKay
Could be day one for me too. Trying to convince myself but not doing too well. Joined this site for inspiration & encouragement. I have been heavily drinking daily for years (heavy for normal people, average for me) cant recall the last sober day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 3
Already failed, I'm sorry for wasting anyone's time. Got a call from my elderly Dad, nothing significant at all but he was talking about getting sales calls and not being sure what they were about. Got frustrated and pretended to him that I dropped my phone when in reality I hung up on him and left the house immediately to buy vodka.
Rang him back on the way pretended phone was dropped and had a great upbeat conversation because I was getting drink I was in great mood.
I did this before but can't seem to find the interest to do it again. I feel totally lost and done.
Rang him back on the way pretended phone was dropped and had a great upbeat conversation because I was getting drink I was in great mood.
I did this before but can't seem to find the interest to do it again. I feel totally lost and done.
Friendly Folk
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Powers Lake, Wisconsin
Posts: 21,721
Cags,
Just keep posting and let us know how you are doing. It is times like these that you need to stay close to SR. You are valued and your time with us is NEVER WASTED!
Please keep posting.♡
Just keep posting and let us know how you are doing. It is times like these that you need to stay close to SR. You are valued and your time with us is NEVER WASTED!
Please keep posting.♡
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 3
Normally when I do this I go to get more without fail. Just went to the shop to do this and walked right back out. Doesn't undo anything I know but that's never happened before. Need to revisit my recovery plan and stop this.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Cags,
When I was 3 months clean, i needed a drink. I thought it was complacency, or maybe boredom, or mad at my wife....or my boss....etc etc.
Wrong wrong wrong...
I was going actually insane. Certifiably insane. No joke, no drama.
That is what booze does to folks that drink long and hard enough. We go clinically insane.
I was given so many breaks from my God and Angels. I am positive I am out of luck when it comes to booze.
The only way out was to suffer. It is a small price to pay for all the blessings being this sober has exposed me to.
I am pretty sure i caught the flu last Thursday. I had body aches and a runny nose for 2 days.
My immune system is like a furnace these days.
When I was a drunk, I would have been sick for 2 weeks.
Today, I am 100%. Health is wealth. "All my money not another minute buy."
Thanks.
When I was 3 months clean, i needed a drink. I thought it was complacency, or maybe boredom, or mad at my wife....or my boss....etc etc.
Wrong wrong wrong...
I was going actually insane. Certifiably insane. No joke, no drama.
That is what booze does to folks that drink long and hard enough. We go clinically insane.
I was given so many breaks from my God and Angels. I am positive I am out of luck when it comes to booze.
The only way out was to suffer. It is a small price to pay for all the blessings being this sober has exposed me to.
I am pretty sure i caught the flu last Thursday. I had body aches and a runny nose for 2 days.
My immune system is like a furnace these days.
When I was a drunk, I would have been sick for 2 weeks.
Today, I am 100%. Health is wealth. "All my money not another minute buy."
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2019
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 268
Hi Cag, I certainly can relate to you. I am on day 4 from a 2 week binge of beer and vodka. We are about the same age and it seems stress is our main trigger. I have had many sober stretches ruined by sudden onset anxiety.
I am still detoxing and have been suffering for days. It is very difficult to ignore the impulse to get some booze in me. Just a few beers and my withdrawal symptoms go away. However, those beers turn into a full bender usually. I am already at rock bottom. Next step is death if I continue.
I used this site around the clock the past 4 days to get me through the acute withdrawal stage. My symptoms are still lingering but I am through the worst of it. Now the real work begins.
How are holding up?
I am still detoxing and have been suffering for days. It is very difficult to ignore the impulse to get some booze in me. Just a few beers and my withdrawal symptoms go away. However, those beers turn into a full bender usually. I am already at rock bottom. Next step is death if I continue.
I used this site around the clock the past 4 days to get me through the acute withdrawal stage. My symptoms are still lingering but I am through the worst of it. Now the real work begins.
How are holding up?
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