Lonewolf22

So there are certain recovery routes that I just know on an ideological level just can never be compatible for the way I think. My problem with that though is I often equate that to mean it isn't good and view it in a negative light.
So today I came across a video on YouTube which got me thinking, underlining all success to recovery is a few common themes regardless of which recovery path is taken.

The first one that pops out to me is repetition.

This means often time hard work is needed. It isn't rarely easy to change our habits. The reason being we become so accustomed to living a certain way and therefore thinking in a particular way. What I notice is that repetition is needed.
I have often been critical of AA but one thing that it maintains is for the addict to be consistent in their approach towards improving their situation. So this is transforming in the sense they are constantly reminded of the unhappiness of addiction and how it does nothing to improve their life. Nothing good comes of it.
It also encouraged people to adopt a different way of thinking so they are able to change their habit until the new habit of being sober becomes second nature. The hard work has paid off now they reap the rewards both spiritually and existentially. They are taught gratitude and to look at patterns of thought that are unhealthy. So looking at AA in this sense, I see it in a much more positive light.

Another common factor in recovery is habit, and living in a way that minimises the risk to fall into old habits. And having people around that reinforce and encourage that person's new habits.I

The next factor I notice is an optimistic view of the future and of their own possibilities.
For many reasons addicts fall into awful circumstances and begin to feel hopeless. So just the idea of becoming sober is enough for that person to have gratitude towards a new way of life. Simply things like, waking up refreshed and having a cup of tea rather than settling down to continue from yesterday's drinking. Being able to think clearly not having to obsess about where the next drink will come from, how to get it, and if you can afford it.
Then the recovery journey itself allows the person to feel proud of themselves and to be part of a community. Hence the person grows stronger in themselves.

I could have wrote this better but pretty lazy today. So yeah, I think I'm this light, it is easier to understand how there are many paths to recovery. This is also useful for me because I fall in the real of being critical rather than understanding the different ways which make recovery possible.

lessgravity

All good thoughts, I also intellectualized my path to sobriety. But be careful that your criticism of certain methods and intellectualizing the fact that just not drinking today (every day) can screw with your getting sober. I was guilty of blaming methods and means of sobriety as excuses to keep drinking. In the end recovery is possible when your values trump your addiction. How you achieve that, AA et al, matters none.

AAPJ

Hi Lonewolf22


Good to see your thoughts here. I will just re-post something I said in another thread for your consideration.

For me when I see folks stating that AA isn't for them I wonder what they will do as an alternative program for their recovery.

Is one saying that:

1) They tried AA and didn't like it so they gave up on a finding a recovery program that works for them? (BS excuse)

OR

2) They tried AA and didn't like it so they will continue to seek a different recovery program that works for them? (Very reasonable position)

To me that's the key point.

Your comments seem to put you in the #2 bucket. Have a great sober day!

Lonewolf22

Well AA, I think we are limited to what path we take depending on services available in our area. I will say no path is going to be perfect. The government ought to do a lot more in terms of mental health and addiction services. Most services seem to be struggling in the UK at the moment. Getting by by the skin of their teeth.
What I will say is that is very disheartening and I won't criticise those that struggle to find a recovery path that isn't for them. Mental health + addiction is too complex to do so. Some people are able to go to one method and reject parts of it they don't adhere to. Others can't. At the moment I don't see much optimism in this area. So many choose to do it alone. Others just haven't got the faculties to do so. I don't know the right answer or solution to this problem.

AnvilheadII

three foundations for recovery (per AA/NA) are:
Honesty
Open-Mindedness
Willingness

hard to go wrong with these three amigos on your side!

WeThinkNot

I forget where I read it but the best definition of discipline is the things you don't want to do become the things you want to do. My weightlifting regimen is part of my recovery. I really, really hate leg day and yet....part of me deep down loves leg day the most.

Same with rebuilding my finances. Money is deducted from every paycheck to be transferred to my savings and investment accounts before anything else. Sometimes I think about all the toys and gadgets I could be buying instead....but yet I love seeing the balance increase and knowing that my future is more secure.

Being disciplined in my recovery program has directly resulted in my optimistic view of the future.

WaterOx

Good thoughts!

Check out "Atomic Habits" when you get a chance. It's all about the best way to form habits and speaks further to your point (eg: making bad habits harder, good habits easier, etc etc)

I've been to enough AA to know it's not for me but I have also been down the road of relapse and am hellbent on trying more things. I agree with the sentiment at large which is getting sober is the one and only goal here. How it's done (usually) doesn't matter.

In fact I'm inclined to say that people who really, adamantly stress about "the one true way" to get sober are unknowingly using that as a way to derail themselves from getting sober. Just my personal observation...don't know if that's true.

I guess being judgemental is inevitable, being human and all. Yet in all honesty, if someone told me that they got sober by standing on their head once a month during the full moon I'd just shrug and say "hey you did it, that's all that matters to me".

DontRemember

When I was first getting sober I was trying to 'figure it out' and spent a lot of time spinning my wheels while still drinking. I wasn't drinking on my previous 'level',but still drinking non the less. In a court ordered AA,one morning, an old timer caught on to where I was at in my recovery.. and suggested I try the acronym "K.I.S.S"(keep it simple stupid) and that really made sense to me. Here I was trying to figure out a 'better mouse trap' for all/everyone's recovery and that's just too big for me to handle. i then started focusing my energy on what I could use/do to change myself for me. No blame for circumstance(s)...just utter ownership of MY problem and working towards changing me for me. Focusing on myself and MY actions/behaviors is 100% on me.

entropy1964

My personal experience has been that the most common theme to success is connection. The most common theme in failure, the opposite. Connecting with other addicts regularly, in whatever venue suits, is incredibly powerful.

AAPJ

Lonewolf - Great critique of my earlier comment. I think I need to change my thinking a bit. Pondering. Thanks!

AAPJ

While I happen to be a AA person I agree with this 100%.

I have a slightly different take on this. Since I am an AAer I have been to a lot of AA meetings. No surprise here - right? In fact for me I find AA meetings to be a positive event in my day most of the time. So I have seen a number of folks at AA meetings who fall in to "the "one true way" to get sober" category. For them of course it's AA or nothing. Many of them have long periods of sobriety. So I don't think they are derailing themselves from getting sober. What I do think they do is derail others from getting sober. If one hears what they say and AA isn't for them they really offer no alternative possibility for getting sober.

Does this make sense?

August252015

Good thoughts.

My first thought about the first thing those in recovery have is complete commitment to sobriety.

I'd also share that I know one of my defects/character flaws/weaknesses is being judgmental. In terms of diff recovery programs, I know AA works for me - and I have needed to learn what other methods entail - at least enough to understand what others mean by "the Beast" and such. This week, I turned that into a little research on SMART, AVRT and several other methods I found when googling (a couple I hadn't heard of like SOS- Secular Organizations for Sobriety, a network of paths); I did this for my own education as well as to expand the database I keep for the restaurant industry recovery group I lead, which is not AA/NA specifically, though the four of us on the board base our recovery on it. Our view- my view- is that the bottom line for any good recovery is we need others.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Lonewolf - I think all of us relate to anger, pre-emptive dismissal of "new" or "not to our liking" ideas, and such when we are first getting sober, and along the way even. i have found it doesn't do me much good to go there

DriGuy

I like your attitude. Just because one alternative is not a good fit doesn't mean it's worth holding a grudge. It would be like hating size 32 pants because they don't fit.

I also got interested in alternatives because of recent threads, and did some research, which I haven't done in years. There are some interesting things being done. Finland is doing some work on recovery using a medical approach. And this is an area where medicine hasn't previously done much. They are actually using it, but it's still early stage, and I'm curious where this may lead. Apparently, they even have a drug that reduces cravings in some patients. It's not the one that makes you sick when you drink like the one that was around back when I quit.

I don't know if I'm sensing this correctly, but I'm getting the feeling that the public might be taking an interest in the problem of alcohol the way they did over smoking 30 years ago. Maybe a health consciousness thing, and that more people are looking for a way out of addiction, not as a prohibition approach, but a renewed interest in personal health.

August252015

^^DriGuy, from what I watch, read and follow on social media, you are spot on. There are many articles coming out about how drinking impacts us, our social habits and accepted "norms," why we drink, and so on....and not just about the extreme end like us alcoholics. There are some great Instagram accounts I follow that are geared mostly toward the non-alcoholics: bottom line questions like what is alcohol doing to your life? even basic habits like whether or not you take the run in the morning if you have 2 glasses of wine every night, whether you think an occasional hangover is normal....all these resources are meant to generate conversation on a broad basis.

I'm in the restaurant industry and there is a large and growing movement for better health and support for the ills many people who work in F&B encounter based on physical strain, hours, crummy eating, whatever- and a big piece of that is everyone from famous chefs (Andrew Zimmern) to high profile bartenders in big cities (Jack McGarry) to local face only people like me who have a blog, share on social media and lead the Atlanta part of our recovery group....sharing the stories of their sobriety. The huge need for help in my industry, and having gotten sober and stayed in it, is why I am so dedicated to the work we do.

And on an individual level, the better and more we talk to our kids (age appropriately) about drinking, about alcoholism we have, about the choices they will make, I believe the better. We can't stop our children from becoming alcoholics, but I believe we can make sure that they see honesty from us about recovery and know we will be there if they do have a problem (of any degree) one day. That's my husband and my take, anyway.

WaterOx

Yeah totally. That probably happens more than anything.

I guess what I notice is the occasional “theoretician” who basically thinks about everything and tries nothing. They want to find the perfect way to sobriety and in their analysis paralysis, they do nothing.

Edited to add....I think I’m particularly aware of this because if I’m not careful I am exactly like this