Feeling depressed
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
Feeling depressed
Very depressed to day after bad binge last night. Could not go to work today, anxiety bad.
Im starting to ask the question Why me, why must I endure this suffering.
spoken to AA 3 times today. I can't do this on my own.
tgis alcoholism is a horrible horrible disease.
Im starting to ask the question Why me, why must I endure this suffering.
spoken to AA 3 times today. I can't do this on my own.
tgis alcoholism is a horrible horrible disease.
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Sorry to hear that Highercall. Alcohol is central nervous system depressant, so so it's pretty common to feel depressed. Generally the longer you keep drinking the worse it gets too.
As far as the "why me" question, that's common too - it's your addiction taking over and trying to make you think that you have no say in your fate. It couldn't be farther from the truth though - you are suffering because you choose to keep drinking alcohol. What it wants you to forget is that you can also choose to not drink alcohol - I hope you keep up your efforts to quit whether it be through AA or here or whatever path you might choose.
But always remember - you can't be a victim when you are actually the one in control of the situation.
As far as the "why me" question, that's common too - it's your addiction taking over and trying to make you think that you have no say in your fate. It couldn't be farther from the truth though - you are suffering because you choose to keep drinking alcohol. What it wants you to forget is that you can also choose to not drink alcohol - I hope you keep up your efforts to quit whether it be through AA or here or whatever path you might choose.
But always remember - you can't be a victim when you are actually the one in control of the situation.
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
High,
I had to have a serious mental and physical event, that I kept private from most people. There were 2 witnesses. One had a big mouth and told everyone. The other, my son, told nobody.
After that I was able to deal with the horrible suffering it took for me to get this clean. It took nearly 3 years to break free of most of the issues.
Most people can't make it out drug free. The damage is deep and permanent. I had to relearn how to live without booze.
I suffered so bad, yet at times I consider relapse. But, that is my emotional side. My analysis will never let me ever drink again. I won't make it out.
We don't get many chances to pull out of this thing before we go wacko or die from liver failure etc.
It was entirely up to me. Nobody could save me except myself.
This addiction is for life. It is a chronic condition.
I am blessed SR is here. I was doomed without the information folks offered.
Thanks.
I had to have a serious mental and physical event, that I kept private from most people. There were 2 witnesses. One had a big mouth and told everyone. The other, my son, told nobody.
After that I was able to deal with the horrible suffering it took for me to get this clean. It took nearly 3 years to break free of most of the issues.
Most people can't make it out drug free. The damage is deep and permanent. I had to relearn how to live without booze.
I suffered so bad, yet at times I consider relapse. But, that is my emotional side. My analysis will never let me ever drink again. I won't make it out.
We don't get many chances to pull out of this thing before we go wacko or die from liver failure etc.
It was entirely up to me. Nobody could save me except myself.
This addiction is for life. It is a chronic condition.
I am blessed SR is here. I was doomed without the information folks offered.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Sorry you're feeling bad.
Imagine going through the way you do now for ten years every day or every other. That's what I did.
There's no future in drinking, so I do hope you decide to try AA.
What have you got to lose? They'll gladly refund your misery if it doesn't work out for you.
Alcoholism is a horrible disease.
But we can get sober by getting a daily reprieve from alcoholism by just not drinking today. That's all it takes. Today.
No use living in the past, or even worrying about the future when all we have is today. And today I will not drink.
I was a bad drunk for thirty years. In four days I will have ten years sober. And I didn't do it alone and I don't know if I'll drink tomorrow, but today I will not drink.
That's how I'm doing it.
Alcoholism is indeed a terrible disease. Sobriety is it's own reward and I wish that for you.
Imagine going through the way you do now for ten years every day or every other. That's what I did.
There's no future in drinking, so I do hope you decide to try AA.
What have you got to lose? They'll gladly refund your misery if it doesn't work out for you.
Alcoholism is a horrible disease.
But we can get sober by getting a daily reprieve from alcoholism by just not drinking today. That's all it takes. Today.
No use living in the past, or even worrying about the future when all we have is today. And today I will not drink.
I was a bad drunk for thirty years. In four days I will have ten years sober. And I didn't do it alone and I don't know if I'll drink tomorrow, but today I will not drink.
That's how I'm doing it.
Alcoholism is indeed a terrible disease. Sobriety is it's own reward and I wish that for you.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
It's a brutal cycle. Next time check in here first before you take that drink. It's not easy to do but there's so much support that it may help you for making such a bad decision again. And I just want to say that in fact you can do it on your own. You have a driving desire to get sober to keep sending you back to this site, even after nights like last night. You need to tap into that explore it and nurture it. But you can do this.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 453
I hope you're feeling better. I don't think I've ever felt so bad as after a long drinking spree, especially at the end of my drinking days. The good news is that there's a way out. Use this terrible feeling as motivation to pursue sobriety and never look back. Hang out here, post, read, take care of yourself. I got sober through AA, so of course I think that's a good idea, too. 
I couldn't do it on my own, either. Most of us can't.
Sending you kind wishes.
Take care.
I couldn't do it on my own, either. Most of us can't.
Sending you kind wishes.
Take care.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
HC, life is hard for everyone but when we are wrapped up in our disease, we don't see that. And, you will continue to suffer with the anxiety after drinking until you stop drinking. At that point, your anxiety should disappear or diminish and become manageable. Take action today and stay sober.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Why me, why must I endure this suffering.
I'm glad you're reaching out to AA have you decided to go back to a meeting?
D
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 271
Yes I will attend AA meetings. They are there to talk to 24 hours a day everyday it was so comforting for me to speak with someone.
i am 40 never had a relationship and am very unhappy at the moment. Life is so incredibly difficult.
Why I even consider alcohol as an option after what it has done to me mentally physically emotionally monetarily is beyond comprehension. This is the mental obsession alcoholics have.
It has ruined my life.
I was off alcohol for 22 days but have become worse when I started again it's a progressive chronic and fatal disease alcohollism.
i am 40 never had a relationship and am very unhappy at the moment. Life is so incredibly difficult.
Why I even consider alcohol as an option after what it has done to me mentally physically emotionally monetarily is beyond comprehension. This is the mental obsession alcoholics have.
It has ruined my life.
I was off alcohol for 22 days but have become worse when I started again it's a progressive chronic and fatal disease alcohollism.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi Highercall
I was about that age when I quit too
Things are probably not going to change overnight. I'd been drinking for so long it took a month for me to start to feel ok again physically.
It took me even longer to face and deal with the things that 'made me drink' in the first place...
Fortunately it was a lot quicker than the 20 years I gave to drinking.
Have faith - and patience - you may not appreciate all the rewards for a while, but they are there, waiting
D
I was about that age when I quit too
Things are probably not going to change overnight. I'd been drinking for so long it took a month for me to start to feel ok again physically.
It took me even longer to face and deal with the things that 'made me drink' in the first place...
Fortunately it was a lot quicker than the 20 years I gave to drinking.
Have faith - and patience - you may not appreciate all the rewards for a while, but they are there, waiting
D
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
High,
I started drinking innocently and without any understanding of the long term mental and physical damage it always does. The addiction was almost immediate.
I remember drinking until I got sick before I was a teenager. I thought I had cracked the code on drinking, but that was the addiction telling me whatever it needed to keep the poison coming in.
Drinking kept me home and safe. I didn't spend much money because I usually only drank near the weekends and did it at home. But, I was guaranteed at some point over the years to venture out in public and get drunk, sometimes driving home legally drunk.
I made it this far only by the pity God and my Angels had for me. I am no longer looking this gift horse in the mouth.
If you are looking for a relationship you might find one drinking or not. There is a way better chance to find a stronger one if you are a non drinker. Drunks are pretty much abnormal. Being actively addicted is insanity.
I didn't know the real me when I was drinking. I only knew the chemically alter version of me. The real me is pretty cool and I plan to keep the real me here for the rest,of my earthly existance.
No more drugs. That includes booze and pot. Live in the present as strong as i can muster.
Thanks.
I started drinking innocently and without any understanding of the long term mental and physical damage it always does. The addiction was almost immediate.
I remember drinking until I got sick before I was a teenager. I thought I had cracked the code on drinking, but that was the addiction telling me whatever it needed to keep the poison coming in.
Drinking kept me home and safe. I didn't spend much money because I usually only drank near the weekends and did it at home. But, I was guaranteed at some point over the years to venture out in public and get drunk, sometimes driving home legally drunk.
I made it this far only by the pity God and my Angels had for me. I am no longer looking this gift horse in the mouth.
If you are looking for a relationship you might find one drinking or not. There is a way better chance to find a stronger one if you are a non drinker. Drunks are pretty much abnormal. Being actively addicted is insanity.
I didn't know the real me when I was drinking. I only knew the chemically alter version of me. The real me is pretty cool and I plan to keep the real me here for the rest,of my earthly existance.
No more drugs. That includes booze and pot. Live in the present as strong as i can muster.
Thanks.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Why must I endure this suffering?
I used to ask myself this question. It wasn't the right question for me to be asking. The question that helped me was How do I stop this suffering? I stopped staring at the problem and started searching for a solution and my life got better.
Best of luck on your journey!
I used to ask myself this question. It wasn't the right question for me to be asking. The question that helped me was How do I stop this suffering? I stopped staring at the problem and started searching for a solution and my life got better.
Best of luck on your journey!
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