sobriety is the opposite of boring, y’all
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Join Date: Jun 2011
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Posts: 1,236
sobriety is the opposite of boring, y’all
Yesterday I went to an outdoor rock climbing class outside the city. My GF’s niece niece is visiting for the upcoming US holiday of Thanksgiving, and she’s been taking indoor climbing, so my GF and I booked this session primarily for her. She’s a cute little kid who wants everyone to do everything together, though, so my GF and I (both in our early 40s) and my GF pushing-70 parents all went along, rented the shoes, signed the waivers, and privately thought we would do no part in it. Well, we were all wrong.
What a fun day we had! Obviously our niece had a wonderful time, and did the most difficult ninja moves on the boulders. But we all did it, too, in varying degrees of difficulty. It was so great to get out in the cool autumn sunshine and spend the morning and early afternoon hiking and learning a new skill.
I am watching the sun rise from my front window, drinking coffee, waking up, reflecting on how 2 1/2 years ago, I didn’t think there was much to do in my town (or many places) that didn’t involve alcohol. Even when confronted with the truth that there is, I’d think yeah but the people who do that all drink afterward or something akin to that. Well, that may be true and it may not be, but something I’ve learned now is that people in the world drink, but most people do so in a very moderate amount, and could take it or leave it. No one drank yesterday. Usually, after yoga, hiking, auditing a foreign language class at the local community college, volunteering at the animal shelter, a craft class, a book club, a road race, skiing, or the millions of other activities humans do, alcohol isn’t an organized or compulsory part of the activity. (Also I’m an able bodied person who tends towards physical activities but for those who aren’t, there are many other things to do.)
I used to think that if I wasn’t the best at something, I ought not to do it. Slowly over time I ended up just being the best at getting drunk. Not going to win the 5K? Why bother? Not going to be the master at the yoga pose? Waste of money. I could get two happy hour drinks with that money instead!
In sobriety, I’ve slowly let go of that. I can’t pinpoint when it happened because it’s not like it was all of a sudden. I think we alcoholics and perhaps US/western culture likes a black-and-white, before and after, aha moment - that feeds our instant gratification desires. But that’s not how life really is, in its best forms. Somehow, though, I have let go of it because there’s no way that yesterday would have happened. First off, I’m not sure I’d have had the imagination to even think of booking the day. It cost a couple hundred dollars for all of us, which was expensive but considering it was a special event, that’s not expensive at all. Second, I wouldn’t have booked something I knew I’d not be good at. Third, I wouldn’t have woken up at 6 AM to be out the door at 7:30 and at the rock climbing store at 9 AM. Fourth, I’d not have been akin to listening to the instructor about much of anything because when I was drinking, I wasn’t very good at thinking anyone knows better than me about anything.
No, we would have stayed home and given our niece some toy or turned on the TV and let her entertain herself while we made food and sat around bantering. I’d have taken headache medicine upon waking, and mentally planning my alcohol intake. I’d have started at noon, by myself, in a glass no one else would have seen the contents of, and would have started encouraging everyone else to start early in the afternoon. I was good at that.
I know with 100% certainty that people who pressure others to drink are speaking more about themselves than the other person. I also know with 100% certainty that they are the minority, and there is a really cool world that we all live in, regardless of country, geography, urban vs rural, etc. - that is full of fun things to do and learn that doesn’t involve alcohol. Through engaging in it, we can and will have experiences that are more meaningful than anything we experienced with a bottle. For me, and I expect others here as well, a lot of that is comprised of the events and activities we have probably spent years snubbing our noses at or ignoring, because we told ourselves it didn’t interest us, were secretly afraid of, or shut out because we knew we wouldn’t be instantly great at it.
During this time that the people in the country I live in are giving thanks and reflecting on what is important, I wanted to take a minute to express my gratitude for a different, more healthy perspective. The world hasn’t changed in 2+ years. Even I, at my core, haven’t changed. What I’ve done is shed the attitudes I picked up along the way that were preventing me from engaging with the world and seeing how very cool it is. That’s 100% from sobriety.
xoxo
bexxed
What a fun day we had! Obviously our niece had a wonderful time, and did the most difficult ninja moves on the boulders. But we all did it, too, in varying degrees of difficulty. It was so great to get out in the cool autumn sunshine and spend the morning and early afternoon hiking and learning a new skill.
I am watching the sun rise from my front window, drinking coffee, waking up, reflecting on how 2 1/2 years ago, I didn’t think there was much to do in my town (or many places) that didn’t involve alcohol. Even when confronted with the truth that there is, I’d think yeah but the people who do that all drink afterward or something akin to that. Well, that may be true and it may not be, but something I’ve learned now is that people in the world drink, but most people do so in a very moderate amount, and could take it or leave it. No one drank yesterday. Usually, after yoga, hiking, auditing a foreign language class at the local community college, volunteering at the animal shelter, a craft class, a book club, a road race, skiing, or the millions of other activities humans do, alcohol isn’t an organized or compulsory part of the activity. (Also I’m an able bodied person who tends towards physical activities but for those who aren’t, there are many other things to do.)
I used to think that if I wasn’t the best at something, I ought not to do it. Slowly over time I ended up just being the best at getting drunk. Not going to win the 5K? Why bother? Not going to be the master at the yoga pose? Waste of money. I could get two happy hour drinks with that money instead!
In sobriety, I’ve slowly let go of that. I can’t pinpoint when it happened because it’s not like it was all of a sudden. I think we alcoholics and perhaps US/western culture likes a black-and-white, before and after, aha moment - that feeds our instant gratification desires. But that’s not how life really is, in its best forms. Somehow, though, I have let go of it because there’s no way that yesterday would have happened. First off, I’m not sure I’d have had the imagination to even think of booking the day. It cost a couple hundred dollars for all of us, which was expensive but considering it was a special event, that’s not expensive at all. Second, I wouldn’t have booked something I knew I’d not be good at. Third, I wouldn’t have woken up at 6 AM to be out the door at 7:30 and at the rock climbing store at 9 AM. Fourth, I’d not have been akin to listening to the instructor about much of anything because when I was drinking, I wasn’t very good at thinking anyone knows better than me about anything.
No, we would have stayed home and given our niece some toy or turned on the TV and let her entertain herself while we made food and sat around bantering. I’d have taken headache medicine upon waking, and mentally planning my alcohol intake. I’d have started at noon, by myself, in a glass no one else would have seen the contents of, and would have started encouraging everyone else to start early in the afternoon. I was good at that.
I know with 100% certainty that people who pressure others to drink are speaking more about themselves than the other person. I also know with 100% certainty that they are the minority, and there is a really cool world that we all live in, regardless of country, geography, urban vs rural, etc. - that is full of fun things to do and learn that doesn’t involve alcohol. Through engaging in it, we can and will have experiences that are more meaningful than anything we experienced with a bottle. For me, and I expect others here as well, a lot of that is comprised of the events and activities we have probably spent years snubbing our noses at or ignoring, because we told ourselves it didn’t interest us, were secretly afraid of, or shut out because we knew we wouldn’t be instantly great at it.
During this time that the people in the country I live in are giving thanks and reflecting on what is important, I wanted to take a minute to express my gratitude for a different, more healthy perspective. The world hasn’t changed in 2+ years. Even I, at my core, haven’t changed. What I’ve done is shed the attitudes I picked up along the way that were preventing me from engaging with the world and seeing how very cool it is. That’s 100% from sobriety.
xoxo
bexxed
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by bexxed 
In sobriety, I’ve slowly let go of that. I can’t pinpoint when it happened because it’s not like it was all of a sudden. I think we alcoholics and perhaps US/western culture likes a black-and-white, before and after, aha moment - that feeds our instant gratification desires.
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Killed it with this post!
Thank you so much. Lots to reflect on. Much in common.
I was remembering a time not to long ago I went snowboarding with my son and sister. I was so brutally hungover that I could barely even endure the day, forget taking advantage of it. So much to be thankful for, especially never having to get through that horrible, neasuous, pathetic way of living.
In re people drinking, I went to brunch yesterday and my wife and our two friends had a drink There was a sliver of envy that crept into my head. However two hours later I was at the gym, pushing myself through an awesomely brutal workout Never would have happened if I was still a drunk. Instead I would have spent the rest of the day scheming how to sneak drinks until I passed out. Oh and yes - none of the people at brunch even finished their first drink! Ha.
This time of year it's not always easy to be the sober one, regardless of how those around us drink. Thanks for the reminder that it's such a better life.
Thank you so much. Lots to reflect on. Much in common.
I was remembering a time not to long ago I went snowboarding with my son and sister. I was so brutally hungover that I could barely even endure the day, forget taking advantage of it. So much to be thankful for, especially never having to get through that horrible, neasuous, pathetic way of living.
In re people drinking, I went to brunch yesterday and my wife and our two friends had a drink There was a sliver of envy that crept into my head. However two hours later I was at the gym, pushing myself through an awesomely brutal workout Never would have happened if I was still a drunk. Instead I would have spent the rest of the day scheming how to sneak drinks until I passed out. Oh and yes - none of the people at brunch even finished their first drink! Ha.
This time of year it's not always easy to be the sober one, regardless of how those around us drink. Thanks for the reminder that it's such a better life.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I've faced that I actually am quite boring. Ha! Who knew? Well probably everybody but me. I like routine. I like predictable. I like going to bed early and getting up early. I love coffee. I love going to the gym. I love walking my dog. I love cooking. I actually love vacuuming, laundry...nothing like clean sheets and towels. I like raking leaves and pulling weeds. I fricken love to read and watch my favorite shows.
I'm boring as feck. But with alcohol I was just clueless, sloppy and dangerous....and drunk. But still boring.
I guess I just accept my boring nature and am good with it. My life is slow now but that's going to change in a few months. For now, I'm just enjoying the absolutely routine-ness of my routine.
So many say 'what am I going to do with all the time?' 'I'm so bored' 'How am I ever going to have fun again?'....All of that is absolute AV bullshlit. And I remember thinking just those things. I just had to accept that at least for me, life is pretty meh. And that is perfect!!
I'm boring as feck. But with alcohol I was just clueless, sloppy and dangerous....and drunk. But still boring.
I guess I just accept my boring nature and am good with it. My life is slow now but that's going to change in a few months. For now, I'm just enjoying the absolutely routine-ness of my routine.
So many say 'what am I going to do with all the time?' 'I'm so bored' 'How am I ever going to have fun again?'....All of that is absolute AV bullshlit. And I remember thinking just those things. I just had to accept that at least for me, life is pretty meh. And that is perfect!!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,171
Originally Posted by Frickaflip233
I've faced that I actually am quite boring. Ha! Who knew? Well probably everybody but me. I like routine. I like predictable. I like going to bed early and getting up early. I love coffee. I love going to the gym. I love walking my dog. I love cooking. I actually love vacuuming, laundry...nothing like clean sheets and towels. I like raking leaves and pulling weeds. I fricken love to read and watch my favorite shows.
I'm boring as feck. But with alcohol I was just clueless, sloppy and dangerous....and drunk. But still boring.
I guess I just accept my boring nature and am good with it. My life is slow now but that's going to change in a few months. For now, I'm just enjoying the absolutely routine-ness of my routine.
So many say 'what am I going to do with all the time?' 'I'm so bored' 'How am I ever going to have fun again?'....All of that is absolute AV bullshlit. And I remember thinking just those things. I just had to accept that at least for me, life is pretty meh. And that is perfect!!
I'm boring as feck. But with alcohol I was just clueless, sloppy and dangerous....and drunk. But still boring.
I guess I just accept my boring nature and am good with it. My life is slow now but that's going to change in a few months. For now, I'm just enjoying the absolutely routine-ness of my routine.
So many say 'what am I going to do with all the time?' 'I'm so bored' 'How am I ever going to have fun again?'....All of that is absolute AV bullshlit. And I remember thinking just those things. I just had to accept that at least for me, life is pretty meh. And that is perfect!!
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