LoneWolf04

Hi All,

Just checking in. I'm on day 15 alcohol free since my last relapse.. and objectively speaking I'm doing great by all accounts. While I had a few sober periods last year - I have noticed just how much of a raw nerve I can be once the initial 'pink cloud' period passes.

I would feel defenseless to certain emotions, guilt can be a huge factor.. and I would say, general sensitivity overall.

I'm trying my best this time around to anticipate this. Yesterday in fact I felt a bit of turmoil and decided to go for a walk and try to sort out my thoughts and clear my head..

One thing that greatly helped me was something I read recently about living life on life's terms:

'When you decide to live life on life’s terms, you’re rejecting the warped thinking that fuelled your addiction. Substance abusers often have difficulty accepting reality, and this persistent state of denial allows them to create an ultimate reality in which they live life on their own terms. The problem, of course, is that this simply doesn’t work'

Accepting the reality I'm in right now is what I'm striving for. So many times in the past, I get over the first 2-3 weeks of sobriety and suddenly I get carried away and take on too many things - living in the past, trying to re-live the past, getting too stressed for the future, etc...as if I need to 'take my life back'... I quickly forget the addition/recovery situation I am in and each time end up in the same place - relapse.

I guess it takes practice and sharing.

D122y

Lone,

My addiction would tell me anything to get me to drink.

I would bet mad at my boss, wife, or life. I would search for things to get mad over. It took over a year of sobriety to settle down and then I still tried to relapse.

If not for coming back to sr after my snorts, I would be full blown drinking again.

I call getting through the craves suffering.

I don't envy drinkers any more. The intoxicating results are not a good look. Yesterday I was at a sporting event. So many drunk and sober people. Mostly sober. The drunks looked like mentally challenged adults. They were talking funny, smiling a silly smirk, staggering.

I don't believe the hype. Thank God I am clean.

Thanks.

Dee74

congrats on 2 weeks

I always say try not to worry too much but be ready for trouble...if it comes you'll be prepared...have a support network ready and try and avoid slippery situations for a while

D

biminiblue

Those feelings will settle down. I actively searched for answers in books, websites, AA meetings, church, therapy.

I think it was really important to find a way to forgive myself and others. Grace is the word I would apply to situations where I or someone else behaves in a not-that-graceful way. We all make mistakes but we're all worthy of forgiveness.

It will get better. I took every excuse and turned it around. I don't drink. No matter what.

Anna

Congratulations on Day 15!

I think you're right to take things slowly, as you adjust to sobriety. I applaud you for going for a walk to straighten your head. Walking saved me, and continues to be my therapy.