hopscotch123

Hello all,

Been vacant from the forum for some time. Anyhow, Im a year off coke and six and bit months of alcohol.

So around seven months ago I was around four times over the limit and crashed my car, oops, no injuries apart from mine which were not that serious.

Any time I was drinking was when I wasn't looking after my grandmother who was the last member of my family. If she had a fall or something and ended up in hospital I would turn to drink in moderation but then to excess, this time she had been admitted for around two months and I was drinking...a lot.

Anyhow, after the crash I got clean and when she came out I looked after her again, sober and happy. I had of course I had pended court case due to my car crash which was two weeks after my grandma sadly passed away. I didn't turn to drinking again (this was around two months ago) and been sober still.

Im taking Baclofen still which I HIGHLY recommend anyone to speak to a medical person about regarding addiction because for drink, I have zero desire for it. Sadly it doesn't cover all addictions...

Whenever I came off alcohol I would end up turning to Codeine which I am dealing with at the moment. It is of course an addiction transfer but I have weened down slowly and that's coming to a halt soon.

So the alcohol has gone but sadly I'm 32 and all my family have passed away. I do however have a loving girlfriend who I met after I stopped drinking. Yes, she didn't take the drink driving thing to great as you could imagine but she at least knows all about it.

She wants me to see a councillor due to her and others thinking I may have PTSD, I found my father dead on the ground when I was six due to a heart attack being one thing. The reason for this is due to me feeling down most of the time and my lack of being able to sleep at night.

My drinking started to get bad due to anxiety starting out the blue around six years ago now. I was a binge drinker before but suddenly I didn't get hangovers, I got massive anxiety, ended up self medicating on alcohol and most know the kinda story from there...

So anyhow, in the last four years I have lost a lot, my commercial pilot career (due to anxiety), my Grandfather four years ago who was like my father to me, my aunty three years ago, my mother sadly passed away in April last year and now my Grandmother who was the last two months ago. Im also an only child.

I never met my fathers dad and nor did he as he was killed in WW2 and my fathers mother passed away when I was two years old.

So right now, its time to move on, I get my drivers license back in exactly 590 days. Financially I very lucky to have a very nice income (not from the government) before I get out of bed and about to expand my property portfolio. I also have two lovely dogs who are my best friends.

I am intending on moving away from where I am, not running, just making a new start, possibly out of the UK (Brexit depending). Time to think.

Anyhow, hope you are all well.

Lorie1482

Dee74

Hey Hopscotch - good to hear from you I'm sorry for your losses and struggles abut I'm glad you're clean and sober now - may better days be ahead.

I found that until I addressed the void in me that I was trying to fill with stuff I kept attracting new addictions like a dog does fleas.

Maybe the counselling might help you sort some of that void stuff out?

D

hopscotch123

Thank you Lorie

Again, thank you Dee.

Yes I think you are correct regarding the void, I have tried to fill it with various things such as fitness levels etc which did not work. The only thing that came close was while running my business (which I left to my business partner so I could look after my family around four years ago), and seeing rewards of it growing etc so maybe that is the trick. In fact on reflection that did fill the gap. I was drinking at the time but not heavily at all, the occasional one or two in the evening and the binge drinking at the weekends before the anxiety kicked in. Im not suggesting going back to the drinking, just starting a business again instead of having a passive income.

Counselling I have tried in the past, both privately and also through the NHS using CBT. I did not get any relief from either to be honest. I also tried the EMDR therapy which involved tapping on my hand while been asked questions or something but again I didn't take that it.

I do quite like the idea of what you see in the films/movies and relaxing in a chair while being asked things about my past rather then the previous approaches which involved forms not a very relaxed sitting if that makes sense?!

orderfororder

That is psychoanalysis. Rare to find these days, but you might luck out. I've considered that myself.

Glad you've been able to stay alcohol free for so long. Good on you for looking ahead and keeping yourself in check.

SnazzyDresser

Good going, Hopscotch. The huge up of sobriety and its auxiliary benefits will get you thru a zillion minor downs, I've found. Even major ones for that matter.

hopscotch123

Many thanks both of you! Like I mentioned in the first post, I cannot stress enough how much the Baclofen has helped me. It may be just a placebo but it works anyhow! Im on the lowest dose with is 20mg three times a day. I do sometimes miss a few doses or days even and not even a slight change in thought process regarding drinking.

Regarding the relaxed therapy, thank you for letting me know the correct word for it! I had no idea what it was called at all! How come psychoanalysis is rare to find nowadays?

orderfororder

Well, I cannot guarantee that every psychoanalyst will have you on a couch, but that image (along with the idea of repressed memories or just talking about your past in general) definitely comes from that school. I think it could still have value.

Psychoanalysis has its roots in Freud, whom many believe to be unscientific (and rightfully so for the most part), but the actual process of psychoanalysis did evolve beyond Freud and does attempt a hybrid approach. Worth looking into!