Dave42001

September 19

Daily Reflections

ACCEPTANCE

We admitted we couldn't lick alcohol with our own
remaining resources, and so we accepted the further
fact that dependence upon a Higher Power
(if only our A.A. group) could do this hitherto
impossible job. The moment we were able to accept
these facts fully, our release from the alcohol
compulsion had begun.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 109

Freedom came to me only with my acceptance that I
could turn my will and my life over to the care of
my Higher Power, whom I call God. Serenity seeped
into the chaos of my life when I accepted that what
I was going through was life, and that God would
help me through my difficulties--and much more, as
well. Since then He has helped me through all of my
difficulties! When I accept situations as they are,
not as I wish them to be, then I can begin to grow
and have serenity and peace of mind.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Let us continue with Steps Two, Three, and Eleven.
We must turn to a Higher Power for help, because we
are helpless ourselves. When we put our drink problem
in God's hands and leave it there, we have made the
most important decision of our lives. From then on,
we trust God for the strength to keep sober. This
takes us off the center of the universe and allows
us to transfer our problems to a Power outside
ourselves. By prayer and meditation, we seek to
improve our conscious contract with God. We try to
live each day the way we believe God wants us
to live. Am I trusting God for the strength to stay sober?

Meditation For The Day

"These things have I spoken unto you, that your joy
may be full." Even a partial realization of the
spiritual life brings much joy. You feel at home in
the world when you are in touch with the Divine
Spirit of the universe. Spiritual experience brings
a definite satisfaction. Search for the real meaning
of life by following spiritual laws. God wants you to
have spiritual success and He intends that you have it.
If you live your life as much as possible according to
spiritual laws, you can expect your share of joy and
peace, satisfaction and success.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I will find happiness in doing the right
thing. I pray that I will find satisfaction in obeying
spiritual laws.

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As Bill Sees It

"Fearless and Searching", p.261

My self-analysis has frequently been faulty. Sometimes I've failed
to share my defects with the right people; at other times, I've
confessed their defects, rather than my own; and still other times,
my confession of defects has been more in the nature of loud
complaints about my circumstances and my problems.

********************************

When A.A. suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to
every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can do.
Every time he tries to look within himself, Pride says, "You need not
pass this way," and Fear says, "You dare not look!"

But pride and fear of this sort turn out to be bogymen, nothing
else. Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory, and
exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful light falls
upon this foggy scene. As we persist, a brand-new kind of
confidence is born, and the sense of relief at finally facing
ourselves is indescribable.

1. Grapevine, June 1958
2. 12 & 12, pp.49-50

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Walk In Dry Places

Keep the common problem in view
Maintaining
It there's been one major change in AA, one old-timer observed,
it's probably in group discussions. The focus today is far more on
overcoming personal problems than in staying away form the first drink.
"The early AA members were continuously concerned about the dangers
of drinking," he said. "Members today are more concerned about their
feelings and personal issues, such as relationships."
This change has probably been an improvement, but it carries the risk
that members will forget why they needed the program in the first place.
For alcoholics, it is dangerous to let the problem with alcohol slide out of
view. It is important to keep in mind at all times the life-or-death nature
of our drinking problem. Even if we are not totally successful in dealing
with our feelings or establishing harmonious relationships, it's always
necessary to stay sober. Disaster is in that first drink, and let's keep
that constantly in view.
No matter how long I've been sober, I'll remind myself several times
this day that I'm an alcoholic. I'll also remember that it's only sobriety
that enables me to deal with my other problems.

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Keep It Simple

When we look back, we realize that the things which came to us when
we put ourselves in God’s hands were better than anything we could
have planned.---Alcoholics Anonymous
We can’t control the present by looking into the future. We can only
look back at the past. The past can teach us how to get more out of
the present. But the past is to be learned from, not to be judged.
As we look back, we see the troubles caused by addiction. But we
also see recovery. We see how our lives are better. We see our
Higher Power’s work in our lives. If we honestly look at our past, we learn.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me learn from the past.
With Your help, I’ll stop judging my past, just as I wouldn’t judge
those who have gone before me.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll remember my life before I got sober.
Do I still hang on to attitudes or behaviors that might make me start to
use alcohol and other drugs again?

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Each Day a New Beginning

...concern should drive us into action and not into depression. --Karen Horney
The role of victim is all too familiar to many of us. Life did us injustices
--we thought. And we passively waited for circumstances to change.
With the bottle we waited, or maybe the little white pills. Nothing was
our fault. That we were willing participants to victimization is an awareness
not easily accepted, but true nonetheless.
Victims no more, we are actors, now. And since committing ourselves to
this program, we have readily available a willing and very able director
for our role in life. Every event invites an action, and we have opted for
the responsible life.
Depression may be on the fringes of our consciousness today. But it need
not become our state of mind. The antidote is and always will be action,
responsible action. Every concern, every experience wants our attention,
our active attention.
Today stretches before me, an unknown quantity. Concerns will crowd upon
me, but guidance regarding the best action to take is always available to me.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 9 - The Family Afterwards

The opposite may happen should the family condemn and criticize. Dad may feel that for years his drinking has placed him on the wrong side of every argument, but that now he has become a superior person with God on his side. If the family persists in criticism, this fallacy may take a still greater hold on father. Instead of treating the family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing.

p. 129

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

My Chance To Live

A.A. gave this teenager the tools to climb out of her dark abyss of despair.

Growing up in A.A., I have been blessed with children who have never seen their mother drunk. I have a husband who loves me simply because I am, and I have gained the respect of my family. What more could a broken-down drunk ask for? Lord knows it is more than I ever thought possible, and ever so much more than I deserved. All because I am willing to believe A.A. just might work for me too.

p. 318

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Five - "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."

More realism and therefore more honesty about ourselves are the great gains we make under the influence of Step Five. As we took inventory, we began to suspect how much trouble self-delusion had been causing us. This had brought a disturbing reflection. If all our lives we had more or less fooled ourselves, how could we now be so sure that we weren't still self-deceived? How could we be certain that we had made a true catalog of our defects and had really admitted them, even to ourselves? Because we were still bothered by fear, self-pity, and hurt feelings, it was probable we couldn't appraise ourselves fairly at all. Too much guilt and remorse might cause us to dramatize and exaggerate our shortcomings. Or anger and hurt pride might be the smoke screen under which we were hiding some of our defects while we blamed others for them. Possibly, too, we were still handicapped by many liabilities, great and small, we never knew we had.

pp. 58-59

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If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of
tomorrow, you have no today for which you can be thankful.
--Anonymous

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you
hold well.
--Josh Billings

"I have a simple philosophy. Fill what's empty. Empty what's full.
And scratch where it itches."
--Alice Roosevelt Longworth

In each of our lives, for whatever reason, there are times that we are
faced with things that just don't make sense to us. And the more we
struggle to understand our hardships, the less any of it makes sense.
I have found that in every challenge and obstacle that we are faced
with there *can* be good that can come from it! While it's almost
never easy to identify, I assure you that it is there lying dormant just
waiting for us to release it! I urge everyone to spend your days looking
for positives in your life.
--Josh Hinds from The Inspiration a Day! April 8, 1998

Whate'er we leave to God, God does and blesses us.
--Henry David Thoreau

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

SUICIDE

"Often the test of courage is not
to die but to live."
-- Conte Vittorio Alfieri

There are many ways of committing suicide. The obvious way is to
take your life -- the ultimate escape. One can reach that point in life
when there seems no hope, no purpose in living and death is attractive.
Many alcoholics and addicts reach this point of despair.

However, there is a more subtle way of "suicide", which is to kill
yourself slowly -- by a sick behavior and a negative attitude. I was
"dying" in a lifestyle that revolved around alcohol. All I wanted to do
was drink -- I didn't want to go anywhere, be with anyone or enjoy the
thousand and one pleasures that life offers. I was dying in my life. I
was becoming a "walking zombie". I was committing suicide by
degrees!

Today I can see this and I am glad I had the courage to live. My act of
courage began with my "no" to alcohol.

Let me continue to live in my life.

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The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The
LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?
Psalm 27:1

A little while, and the wicked will be no more; though you look for
them, they will not be found. But the meek will inherit the land and
enjoy great peace. The wicked plot against the righteous and gnash
their teeth at them; but the Lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows
their day is coming.
Psalm 37:10-13

"Show me your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths; guide me in
your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope
is in you all day long."
Psalm 25:4-5

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his
friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer
call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's
business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I
learned from my Father I have made known to you."
John 15:13-15

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Daily Inspiration

Are you too busy wishing away your day to get what you really want?
Lord, help me set goals and find the means to achieve what is important to me.

God has given each of us many talents and abilities. To use them reflects
our commitment to Him. Lord, help me find new ways to use the talents that
You've given me.

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NA Just For Today

Fellowship

"In NA, our joys are multiplied by sharing good days; our sorrows are lessened by sharing the bad. For the first time in our lives, we don't have to experience anything alone."
IP No.16, "For the Newcomer"

When we practice using the steps and the other tools of our program to work through our hardships, we become able to take pleasure in the joys of living clean. But our joys pass all too quickly if we don't share them with others, while hardships borne alone may be long in passing. In the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous, we often multiply our joys and divide our burdens by sharing them with one another.

We addicts experience pleasures in recovery that, sometimes, only another addict can appreciate. Fellow members understand when we tell them of the pride we take today in fulfilling commitments, the warmth we feel in mending damaged relationships, the relief we experience in not having to use drugs to make it through the day. When we share these experiences with recovering addicts and they respond with similar stories, our joy is multiplied. The same principle applies to the challenges we encounter as recovering addicts. By sharing our challenges and allowing other NA members to share their strength with us, our load is lightened.

The fellowship we have in Narcotics Anonymous is precious. Sharing together, we enhance the joys and diminish the burdens of life in recovery.

Just for today: I will share my joys and my burdens with other recovering addicts. I will also share in theirs. I am grateful for the strong bonds of fellowship in Narcotics Anonymous.
pg. 273

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Young man, the secret of my success is that at an early age I discovered I was not God. --Oliver Wendell Holmes
Sometimes, in our families, we try to get parents or brothers or sisters to treat us the way we want them to, to do things we want them to. When they're upset or angry with us, we try to get them to stop, rather than allow them to be angry.
But our feelings are ours alone, and we are responsible only for how we feel. Those around us are not the cause of our feelings. We are.
This knowledge is a big responsibility, because we know we cannot blame others for our bad moods. But it is a fact. And this fact is also a wonderful freedom for us, for it means that we also have the power to make ourselves happy, no matter what goes on around us.
How can I make myself happy today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Who's not sat tense before his own heart's curtain? --Rainer Maria Rilke
Meeting our Higher Power and ourselves is the universal spiritual process. Sitting before the curtain of our hearts may feel as awesome to us or as frightening as anything we will ever do. When we first admit to ourselves a deeper truth, we feel these overpowering tensions. For some of us, this is a necessary step, which leads to self-knowledge and inner peace. We feel unique, different, alone, and maybe even crazy. For the first time, we are listening to our inner truth rather than outside messages.
Let's think for a moment about today's tensions and strains. Are we really aware of their source? Perhaps they are created by the disturbing honesty of our hearts? We may find our spiritual growth in yielding to the truth. When we are cynical about spiritual experience or when we minimize the importance of our soft-spoken inner wisdom, we are avoiding the truth from our hearts. And we miss the possibility of becoming strong from within.
Today, I will live through the tension and fear of my honesty to reach the point of peace with myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
...concern should drive us into action and not into depression. --Karen Horney
The role of victim is all too familiar to many of us. Life did us injustices--we thought. And we passively waited for circumstances to change. With the bottle we waited, or maybe the little white pills. Nothing was our fault. That we were willing participants to victimization is an awareness not easily accepted, but true nonetheless.
Victims no more, we are actors, now. And since committing ourselves to this program, we have readily available a willing and very able director for our role in life. Every event invites an action, and we have opted for the responsible life.
Depression may be on the fringes of our consciousness today. But it need not become our state of mind. The antidote is and always will be action, responsible action. Every concern, every experience wants our attention, our active attention.
Today stretches before me, an unknown quantity. Concerns will crowd upon me, but guidance regarding the best action to take is always available to me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Apologies
Sometimes, we act in a manner with which we are less than comfortable. That's human. That's why we have the words: "I'm sorry." They heal and bridge the gap. But we don't have to say, "I'm sorry" if we didn't do anything wrong. A sense of shame can keep us apologizing for everything we do, every word we say, for being alive and being who we are.
We don't have to apologize for taking care of ourselves, dealing with feelings, seeking boundaries, having fun, or getting healthy.
We never have to change our course, if it is in our best interest, but sometimes a general apology acknowledges other feelings and can be useful when the issues of a circumstance or relationship are not clear. We might say: "I'm sorry for the fuss we had. I'm sorry if what I needed to do to take care of myself hurt you; it was not intended that way."
Once we make an apology, we don't have to keep repeating it. If someone wants to keep on extricating an apology from us for the same incident, that is the person's issue, and we don't have to get hooked.
We can learn to take our apologies seriously and not hand them out when they're not valid. When we feel good about ourselves, we know when it's time to say we're sorry and when it's not.
Today, I will try to be clear and healthy in my apologies, taking responsibility for my actions and nobody else's. God, help me figure out what I need to apologize for and what is not my responsibility.


I grow and learn from everything that happens. Today I am keeping my eyes open and my head clear so that I don't have to make the same mistake twice. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart

Weather the Storm

Storms come. The lightning flashes. Thunder rolls. Sometimes the hail pounds so loudly and incessantly it becomes frightening. Sometimes storms do damage. But storms are not forever.

Just as nature plays out her storms, sometimes with violence, sometimes with gray days, sometimes with a gentle cleansing rain, we have storms in our lives, storms in our souls. Storms are part of life, part of growth, part of the journey.

Light a candle. Wrap up in warmth. Make yourself safe and secure. Then wait for the storm to pass, knowing it will.

Let peace return. Let security return. Let joy and meaning come back, the certain faith that you have purpose and your life is on track.

*****

more language of letting go
What do you expect?

The key to life and power is simple. It's knowing who we are. It's knowing what we think, what we feel, what we believe, what we know, and even what we sense. It's understanding where we've been, where we are, and where we want to go. That's often different from who we think we should be, from whom others want us to be, tell us to be, and sometimes even tell us we are.
--Melody Beattie, Stop Being Mean To Yourself

It's get to get hooked into other people's expectations of us. Sometimes, it's even easier to get hooked into what we think they expect of us.

One of the biggest traps is locking ourselves into a preconceived notion of ourselves. We can keep ourselves so busy living up to an image of ourselves that we forget who we really are. It's tough enough to break free of the expectations, spoken and unspoken, that others put on us. It's more insidious when we start telling ourselves to be what we think other people are expecting us to be-- whether they are or not.

Look in the mirror. If you see a person who has been confined with a limiting image that doesn't fit or feel right anymore, set yourself free.


God, help me let go of ego. Help me stop living up to self-imposed caricatures of who I think I'm supposed to be.

Activity: This week, do two things you want to do that you think other people wouldn't normally expect of you. Don't do anything that hurts yourself or maliciously causes pain to another. You might surprise yourself with how easy and fun it is to be you.

*****

Recognizing Our Own Abundance
Planting The Seeds Of Generosity

The most difficult time to be generous is when we ourselves are feeling poor. While some of us have experienced actually being in the red financially, there are those of us who would feel broke even if we had a million dollars in the bank. Either way, as the old adage goes, it is always in giving that we receive. Meaning that when we are living in a state of lack, the very gesture we may least want to give is the very act that could help us create the abundance that we seek. One way to practice generosity is to give energy where it is needed. Giving money to a cause or person in need is one way to give energy. Giving attention, love, or a smile to another person are other acts of giving that we can offer. After all, there are people all over the world that are hungry for love.

Sometimes when we practice generosity, we practice it conditionally. We might be expecting to “receive back” from the person to whom we gave. We might even become angry or resentful if that person doesn’t reciprocate. However, trust in the natural flow of energy, and you will find yourself practicing generosity with no strings attached. This is the purest form of giving. Remember that what you send out will always come back you. Selflessly help a friend in need without expecting them to return the same favor in the same way, and know that you, too, will receive that support from the universe when you need it. Besides, while giving conditionally creates stress (because we are waiting with an invisible balance sheet to receive our due), giving unconditionally creates and generates abundance. We give freely, because we trust that there is always an unlimited supply.

Being aware of how much we are always supported by the universe is one of the keys to abundance and generosity. Consciously remember the times you’ve received support from expected and unexpected sources. Remember anyone who has helped you when you’ve needed it most, and bless all situations that come into your life for the lessons and gifts they bring you. Remember that all things given and received emanate from generosity. Giving is an act of gratitude. Plant the seeds of generosity through your acts of giving, and you will grow the fruits of abundance for yourself and those around you.

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

It’s still not exactly a “piece of cake” for me to accept today’s occasional pain and anxiety with any great degree of serenity, but I’m increasingly able to be thankful for a certain amount of pain. In The Program, we find the willingness to do this by going over the lessons learned from past sufferings — lessons which have led to the blessings we now enjoy. We can remember how the agonies of addiction — and the pain of rebellion and bruised pride — have often led us to God’s grace, and thus to new freedom. Have I thanked my Higher Power for the miracle of my life this day?

Today I Pray

When I was helpless, I asked God for help. When I was hopeless, I reached out for hope. When I was powerless over my addiction, I asked to share His power. Now I can honestly thank God that I was helpless, hopeless, and powerless, because I have seen a miracle.

Today I Will Remember

From powerless highs to a Higher Power.

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One More Day

Of a truth, men are mystically united; a mystic bond of brotherhood makes all men one.
Thomas Carlyle

At our parent’s knee we listened, enraptured, as we heard tales of how life used to be. We could hardly believe that they had lived soooo long. As we moved into our teens, perhaps our parents became pathetically inept in our eyes, not to regain their intelligence until we were older.

Now we see that our folks were able to learn from their mistakes and move forward — just as we move forward now. We have learned “what goes around comes around,” and history repeats itself. Our parents imparted their greatest knowledge to us, and lovingly shared with us their mistakes so we could benefit.

I will listen with respect to the ones I love. I learn from them.

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Food For Thought

Know Yourself

The OA program fosters self-knowledge on a practical, physical level as well as on the more abstract emotional and intellectual levels. We come to know what foods we can handle comfortably, how we can arrange our day so that we do not get exhausted, and which people we need to avoid if we are to maintain our serenity.

We had so little self-confidence when we were overeating that we were inclined to accept other people’s ideas of who we were and what we should do. By trying to be and do what others expected, we may have lost sight of our inner selves. The emptiness caused by not knowing and respecting ourselves led in turn to more overeating as we tried to fill the inner void with food.

Self-knowledge requires courage and honesty. It involves admitting our weaknesses and mistakes, rather than pretending to be perfect. As we come to know ourselves – our preferences, needs, and goals – we gain strength and integrity. The Power greater than ourselves gives us the insight to know who we are physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

Thank You for self-knowledge.

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One Day At A Time

SERVICE
“We must give alms.
Charity wins souls and draws them to virtue.”
Angela Merici

An important lesson in life is that in order to get something we need or want, we first have to give some of it away. If we want friends, we have to be a friend. If we want to be loved, we have to love. If we want recovery, we have to help others recover.

Then we begin to “get it.” The tingling excitement of hope is aroused in us. We discover an inner-source of power to live.

Giving service is as important to our recovery as are abstinence and working the Steps. It includes everything from organizing materials at a face-to-face meeting to hosting meetings online. It’s sharing our problems and our solutions on the loops, as well as sponsoring. Recovery is incomplete until it is shared by giving service to the program or to individuals. It’s remarkable how service brings us closer together, allows us to make friends, helps to end our isolation and gives that feeling of self-worth and confidence that we so desperately need. Simply put, service is as much a lifesaver to us as it is to those we reach out and touch.

I want to be a giver to the program so it is always available to those who will come after me seeking their freedom from this dread disease.

One Day at a Time . . .
I strive to give love, support, comfort, cheer and encouragement,
knowing it will come back to me pressed down, shaken together and running over.
~ Dottie

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

The greatest enemies of us alcoholics are resentment, jealousy, envy, frustration, and fear. Whenever men are gathered together in business there will be rivalries and, arising out of these, a certain amount of office politics. Sometimes we alcoholics have an idea that people are trying to pull us down. Ofen this is not so at all. But sometimes our drinking will be used politically. - Pg. 145 - To Employers

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Learning to be tolerant of others, a difficult task at best, does not mean that we have to agree with them! Tolerance disagrees agreeably, we think. If someone disagrees with us right now, we can agree to disagree.

Right now I ask for the serenity to agree to disagree because my discomfort for prolonged times could lead me to pick up that first fix, pill, or drink!

Actualizing the Gifts that are In Me

I will actualize that gifts that are in me today. I will be less preoccupied with who I'm not and more occupied with who I am. When I spend all of my time looking outside of me or wanting what others have, I forget that I have my own special gifts. God has placed gifts within me that I am meant to develop and share. My responsibility is to come to know what my gifts are, then to cultivate and strengthen them as I share them with the world.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

One of your greatest resources can be your pets. Animals are wonderful companions and better listeners. They give undivided and devoted attention--long past the time when others have exited. They do not judge and they love unconditionally.

I work toward becoming the person my dog thinks I am.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

It says: 'here are the steps we took,' not suggested, not understand.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I grow and learn from everything that happens.

Today I am keeping my eyes open and many head clear so that I don't have to make the same mistake twice.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Carry the message not the mess. - Anon.