Mind-shift: things really do change for the better
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Mind-shift: things really do change for the better
My last post was about dealing with and confronting and being put through difficulties that don't just disappear when you get sober. (I've got 4+ months now). And on this Monday I have a meeting at work where I think I will be held accountable for the mistakes, negligence and mainly procrastination with which I've gone through life for so many years. I've made it to a semi-high level in a incredibly competitive and cut-throat profession. I put myself through law school as the son of first generation immigrant field workers. But I've also lived very below the level at which I should be functioning. Much, if not all, of this wasted potential is because for all of my adult life I've been drinking. Habits, patterns and complexes that I have all fed into/were developed by/contributed to/were masked by my alcohol consumption.
That's over. And I now have the time and space and energy to try and make the most of my life. But chickens coming home to roost are going to continue to be hard for me, especially as a self-critical person.
BUT all that is said in the spirit of feeling very positive, very sure and very grateful about my sobriety. One of the major things I want to newcomers to know (as if anyone has read this far!) is that your mind really does change!
When I was drinking I thought about drinking all the time - how, when, where - the hiding, the lying, the shame, the next buzz, would I make it to the men's room without puking on the conference table?
When I first stopped drinking, all I thought about was not drinking. Like most of us who quit I was CONSUMED with thinking about not drinking all the time - would I last, would I be able to moderate (hahahaha), what would I tell people, etc ad infinitum - I remember being so upset with just how much I thought about drinking, I wanted my mind to give me a break, to just stop thinking about drinking.
And then it happened. I'm not sure when it happened but it has, perhaps gradually though I haven't tracked it. But the invasive thoughts are long gone. And though I still post here a lot my thoughts about drinking are like thoughts about an ex-girlfriend - they come and go and then are gone.
Your mind really changes over time. And perhaps this mind can finally do some work on the things in life I've neglected.
The real work starts after we save ourselves.
That's over. And I now have the time and space and energy to try and make the most of my life. But chickens coming home to roost are going to continue to be hard for me, especially as a self-critical person.
BUT all that is said in the spirit of feeling very positive, very sure and very grateful about my sobriety. One of the major things I want to newcomers to know (as if anyone has read this far!) is that your mind really does change!
When I was drinking I thought about drinking all the time - how, when, where - the hiding, the lying, the shame, the next buzz, would I make it to the men's room without puking on the conference table?
When I first stopped drinking, all I thought about was not drinking. Like most of us who quit I was CONSUMED with thinking about not drinking all the time - would I last, would I be able to moderate (hahahaha), what would I tell people, etc ad infinitum - I remember being so upset with just how much I thought about drinking, I wanted my mind to give me a break, to just stop thinking about drinking.
And then it happened. I'm not sure when it happened but it has, perhaps gradually though I haven't tracked it. But the invasive thoughts are long gone. And though I still post here a lot my thoughts about drinking are like thoughts about an ex-girlfriend - they come and go and then are gone.
Your mind really changes over time. And perhaps this mind can finally do some work on the things in life I've neglected.
The real work starts after we save ourselves.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: California
Posts: 182
Thank you! So encouraging to hear 
I feel the obsessiveness slowly draining day by day and am so grateful. Your positivity is truly inspiring and I think your healthy outlook will carry you far. Good luck to you and keep us posted! <3
I feel the obsessiveness slowly draining day by day and am so grateful. Your positivity is truly inspiring and I think your healthy outlook will carry you far. Good luck to you and keep us posted! <3
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