Owning and releasing trauma and fear
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Owning and releasing trauma and fear
Taking Back Your Power: Owning and Releasing Trauma and Fear
Tom Laveen, author
"First I had to name the trauma.
I had been to a raft of professional therapists, counselors, pastors, and friends, and even a psychiatric hospital stay, trying to find a way out of my angry and fearful lifestyle. While many were helpful, none really helped me recover because I didn’t tell them the whole story.
I kept the darkest parts of my past to myself, worried about how I would be perceived. But the more frequently I share my story now, the more validated I feel. It becomes more and more apparent that I’m not some kind of freak or aberration.
These things really happened, and they really were that bad. Which brings me to the next thing you need to know:
I had to accept that I did 'earn' my diagnoses.
We mustn’t fall into the trap of comparison. We mustn’t say to ourselves, 'Frank had it worse than me.'
No. Frank’s life is Frank’s life. Your life is yours. PTSD and anxiety are not a human being’s natural state of being. Something bad happened to you, and that is not okay. It left a lasting, damaging impression.
The only way to begin moving forward, to reclaim our lives, is to let the truth of our story exist in its own authentic way without comparing ourselves to others.
There is a difference between being scared and being afraid.
Being scared is a natural and healthy response to danger. It’s healthy because it can keep you alive when your instincts tell you something is wrong. That’s the whole point of being scared.
Scared is an adrenalin dump, preparing your body to fight, flee, or freeze. If you are scared, there’s probably a very good and sane reason for it.
'Afraid' is something different. Afraid is how you do life. It’s how you process the world around you: family, friends, career, hobbies, pets . . . everything.
The night I was attacked, I was scared. And that was perfectly natural. Every night thereafter, I was afraid.
If you’re afraid, your mind automatically screens every single decision you make through the filter of fear. What happens if I take this job? Go on this date? Travel to this place? Panic sets in, often resulting in complete and total inaction. Afraid is a thief. It steals everything from us.
Don’t be afraid."
I am afraid. I am facing my fears. One day at a time. Prayer, meditation, trusting there are many paths to healing.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Facing Fears
"Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, focuses on how our thoughts (cognitions), actions (behaviors), and feelings (emotions) interact with each other. It teaches that by changing one of these, the other two will also be impacted.
For example, if you change something about the way you think, you will feel differently and your behavior will be impacted. Or, if you do something different, you will think differently and how you feel will change as well. The same is true for your emotions-what you do and think are impacted by how you feel."
Tom Laveen, author
"First I had to name the trauma.
I had been to a raft of professional therapists, counselors, pastors, and friends, and even a psychiatric hospital stay, trying to find a way out of my angry and fearful lifestyle. While many were helpful, none really helped me recover because I didn’t tell them the whole story.
I kept the darkest parts of my past to myself, worried about how I would be perceived. But the more frequently I share my story now, the more validated I feel. It becomes more and more apparent that I’m not some kind of freak or aberration.
These things really happened, and they really were that bad. Which brings me to the next thing you need to know:
I had to accept that I did 'earn' my diagnoses.
We mustn’t fall into the trap of comparison. We mustn’t say to ourselves, 'Frank had it worse than me.'
No. Frank’s life is Frank’s life. Your life is yours. PTSD and anxiety are not a human being’s natural state of being. Something bad happened to you, and that is not okay. It left a lasting, damaging impression.
The only way to begin moving forward, to reclaim our lives, is to let the truth of our story exist in its own authentic way without comparing ourselves to others.
There is a difference between being scared and being afraid.
Being scared is a natural and healthy response to danger. It’s healthy because it can keep you alive when your instincts tell you something is wrong. That’s the whole point of being scared.
Scared is an adrenalin dump, preparing your body to fight, flee, or freeze. If you are scared, there’s probably a very good and sane reason for it.
'Afraid' is something different. Afraid is how you do life. It’s how you process the world around you: family, friends, career, hobbies, pets . . . everything.
The night I was attacked, I was scared. And that was perfectly natural. Every night thereafter, I was afraid.
If you’re afraid, your mind automatically screens every single decision you make through the filter of fear. What happens if I take this job? Go on this date? Travel to this place? Panic sets in, often resulting in complete and total inaction. Afraid is a thief. It steals everything from us.
Don’t be afraid."
I am afraid. I am facing my fears. One day at a time. Prayer, meditation, trusting there are many paths to healing.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Facing Fears
"Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, focuses on how our thoughts (cognitions), actions (behaviors), and feelings (emotions) interact with each other. It teaches that by changing one of these, the other two will also be impacted.
For example, if you change something about the way you think, you will feel differently and your behavior will be impacted. Or, if you do something different, you will think differently and how you feel will change as well. The same is true for your emotions-what you do and think are impacted by how you feel."
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Thank you for this, Mango!
These two lines hit me....
While many were helpful, none really helped me recover because I didn’t tell them the whole story.
I had to accept that I did 'earn' my diagnoses.
There have been times in my life when I have simply not been honest with myself and, therefore, not honest with others. Laying out the whole truth, acknowledging it, has ultimately always brought me to a better place.
These two lines hit me....
While many were helpful, none really helped me recover because I didn’t tell them the whole story.
I had to accept that I did 'earn' my diagnoses.
There have been times in my life when I have simply not been honest with myself and, therefore, not honest with others. Laying out the whole truth, acknowledging it, has ultimately always brought me to a better place.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 106
Originally Posted by Mango212 
Taking Back Your Power: Owning and Releasing Trauma and Fear
Tom Laveen, author
The only way to begin moving forward, to reclaim our lives, is to let the truth of our story exist in its own authentic way without comparing ourselves to others.
Tom Laveen, author
The only way to begin moving forward, to reclaim our lives, is to let the truth of our story exist in its own authentic way without comparing ourselves to others.
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
The only way to begin moving forward, to reclaim our lives, is to let the truth of our story exist in its own authentic way
My self care today is acknowledging the truth of my own trauma. To sit with it in meditation. To let go of fears I've had lately (again/new layers) of fully acknowledging this truth.
My self care today is acknowledging the truth of my own trauma. To sit with it in meditation. To let go of fears I've had lately (again/new layers) of fully acknowledging this truth.
Life is good
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
Naming my trauma.
I'm a bit afraid to today. Scary stuff hiding in the shadows. Time to turn a bright light towards them and face this head-on.
My trauma in this moment is tied to my summer job. Minor in comparison to everything else, yet it's very important. The more I value myself and this day, the more good things I'm naturally wanting in my life.
I'm in a dysfunctional dynamic here. I didn't apply for this job. They called me. I have made attempts to quit many times, especially after a major injury several years ago. It wound up being therapeutic to keep working. Good things keep working out. This doesn't change the dysfunctional dynamics.
I'm glad to be here right now, today. I'm thankful for having been here.
I'm not coming back next year.
Allowing bigger, more, better in my life. Financially. Emotionally. Experiences. Joy. Life-balance.
On the edge. Jumping. Taking another big leap of faith. Trusting that I'll fly.
#thankyougod #newdirections
I'm a bit afraid to today. Scary stuff hiding in the shadows. Time to turn a bright light towards them and face this head-on.
My trauma in this moment is tied to my summer job. Minor in comparison to everything else, yet it's very important. The more I value myself and this day, the more good things I'm naturally wanting in my life.
I'm in a dysfunctional dynamic here. I didn't apply for this job. They called me. I have made attempts to quit many times, especially after a major injury several years ago. It wound up being therapeutic to keep working. Good things keep working out. This doesn't change the dysfunctional dynamics.
I'm glad to be here right now, today. I'm thankful for having been here.
I'm not coming back next year.
Allowing bigger, more, better in my life. Financially. Emotionally. Experiences. Joy. Life-balance.
On the edge. Jumping. Taking another big leap of faith. Trusting that I'll fly.
#thankyougod #newdirections
Member
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 1,618
This is the part that was new and insightful for me:
There is a difference between being scared and being afraid.
Being scared is a natural and healthy response to danger. It’s healthy because it can keep you alive when your instincts tell you something is wrong. That’s the whole point of being scared.
Scared is an adrenalin dump, preparing your body to fight, flee, or freeze. If you are scared, there’s probably a very good and sane reason for it.
'Afraid' is something different. Afraid is how you do life. It’s how you process the world around you: family, friends, career, hobbies, pets . . . everything.
If you're "scared" often enough, you end up in a state of constant hypervigilance - unconsciously always anticipating the next danger. And then "afraid" becomes your baseline state. I think that's what happened to me.
There is a difference between being scared and being afraid.
Being scared is a natural and healthy response to danger. It’s healthy because it can keep you alive when your instincts tell you something is wrong. That’s the whole point of being scared.
Scared is an adrenalin dump, preparing your body to fight, flee, or freeze. If you are scared, there’s probably a very good and sane reason for it.
'Afraid' is something different. Afraid is how you do life. It’s how you process the world around you: family, friends, career, hobbies, pets . . . everything.
If you're "scared" often enough, you end up in a state of constant hypervigilance - unconsciously always anticipating the next danger. And then "afraid" becomes your baseline state. I think that's what happened to me.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
