Treated my AV like a talkative 7-year old
Treated my AV like a talkative 7-year old
I wanted a drink SO badly today and thought of how easily I could control my drinking now that I’ve proven to myself I could go a month.
Then I laughed at my delusional AV and started doing my hobbies, watched OITNB, drank some decaf and rode it out. The voice didn’t go away...in fact, it just got louder. I let it blather on and decided that no matter how loud it got I was going to keep on keeping on.
A few hours later I’m sober, typing away in my bed, and looking forward to another clear-eyed morning.
Then I laughed at my delusional AV and started doing my hobbies, watched OITNB, drank some decaf and rode it out. The voice didn’t go away...in fact, it just got louder. I let it blather on and decided that no matter how loud it got I was going to keep on keeping on.
A few hours later I’m sober, typing away in my bed, and looking forward to another clear-eyed morning.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 317
Boy, I am ashamed to admit this but I thought the AV thing was something that only "hard core" drinkers in recovery experienced. UNTIL, I read the definition of it on another post, and then I realized that I had my very own seven-year-old AV sitting on my shoulder and saying "Never? NEVER?? Maybe once you've been sober for six months or so, you can have a glass of wine here and there." That was a humbling experience. I like to BS my AV. When it tells me a drink would be good right now, I lie right back and say, "Not today, but maybe tomorrow. Tomorrow we can have a drink if we really want one." My AV actually buys that and shuts up, and of course, tomorrow never comes.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 431
Good tip. Thanks
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