Detachment
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Detachment
If you're following Deepak Chopra's 21-day meditation challenge, you've uncovered this nugget already. (If not, what are you waiting for?? 
)
I liked his wording & perspective:
"Detachment isn't the same as indifference. When you Let Go you aren't saying, I don't care what happens; you're saying, I am open to whatever happens.
When It comes, then I will know the next step to take."
) I liked his wording & perspective:
"Detachment isn't the same as indifference. When you Let Go you aren't saying, I don't care what happens; you're saying, I am open to whatever happens.
When It comes, then I will know the next step to take."
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Location: Midwest
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One of the things I do every couple of days is to pull a card from my Earth Magic deck. Today I pulled "Milky Way/Perspective." Part of the reading associated w/that card was this:
Detachment does not mean that you no longer care – it simply indicates that you are looking at things from a different point of view. It is an outlook that is not clouded by emotions, judgement, or attachment to outcome, but instead maintains a nonreactive awareness of these things.
The Witness, that internal aspect of yourself that simply observes everything in your life, offers his or her eyes here. Through these lenses of pure awareness, you can examine all aspects of your experiences – physical, emotional, and mental – without denying anything. By doing so, you will come to understand a greater perspective than is typically justified by the ego. This allows you to see what is before you with clear vision and an open mind.
This was a good explanation, IMHO, and I wanted to add it here.
Detachment does not mean that you no longer care – it simply indicates that you are looking at things from a different point of view. It is an outlook that is not clouded by emotions, judgement, or attachment to outcome, but instead maintains a nonreactive awareness of these things.
The Witness, that internal aspect of yourself that simply observes everything in your life, offers his or her eyes here. Through these lenses of pure awareness, you can examine all aspects of your experiences – physical, emotional, and mental – without denying anything. By doing so, you will come to understand a greater perspective than is typically justified by the ego. This allows you to see what is before you with clear vision and an open mind.
This was a good explanation, IMHO, and I wanted to add it here.
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Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 184
Detachment was/has been the most difficult thing for me and, TBH, I struggle with it still.
The “detach with love” never spoke to me because my A was also abusive and I could not find any *love* surrounding his behavior because of what he was doing. Then he was gone and still attempting to control and intimidate within the bounds of my protection order, although he also violated it. I tried to detach and the more I did, the more he came back for control.
We’re almost a year from the night we reached critical mass and he was removed. Today, I see him with barely a roof over his head, friends mostly gone, and working in a marginal job. He refuses to change his address and continues to have his medical reports and benefits statements sent here, along with most of his personal papers. He’s seeking counseling because I receive envelopes from the drug/alcohol counseling center, that look like statements, addressed to him. I get phone calls and messages for him because he won’t change that either.
The difference is that now I’m not even sure I feel badly for him. The not changing his address and having mail sent here still is just a subtle form of control; he wants me to know what he’s doing. I’m unaffected for the most part. He brought this on himself and...ta da I think I may have detached. There are still days that I wonder about him, or I have a memory and my heart aches, but for the most part I get that he made these choices. If he’s seeking treatment and counseling that’s great for him, but I could care less about him 95% of the time.
It’s progress.
The “detach with love” never spoke to me because my A was also abusive and I could not find any *love* surrounding his behavior because of what he was doing. Then he was gone and still attempting to control and intimidate within the bounds of my protection order, although he also violated it. I tried to detach and the more I did, the more he came back for control.
We’re almost a year from the night we reached critical mass and he was removed. Today, I see him with barely a roof over his head, friends mostly gone, and working in a marginal job. He refuses to change his address and continues to have his medical reports and benefits statements sent here, along with most of his personal papers. He’s seeking counseling because I receive envelopes from the drug/alcohol counseling center, that look like statements, addressed to him. I get phone calls and messages for him because he won’t change that either.
The difference is that now I’m not even sure I feel badly for him. The not changing his address and having mail sent here still is just a subtle form of control; he wants me to know what he’s doing. I’m unaffected for the most part. He brought this on himself and...ta da I think I may have detached. There are still days that I wonder about him, or I have a memory and my heart aches, but for the most part I get that he made these choices. If he’s seeking treatment and counseling that’s great for him, but I could care less about him 95% of the time.
It’s progress.
Last edited by Leelee168; 02-10-2019 at 07:35 AM. Reason: Typo
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Originally Posted by FireSprite 
"Detachment isn't the same as indifference. When you Let Go you aren't saying, I don't care what happens; you're saying, I am open to whatever happens.
When It comes, then I will know the next step to take."
When It comes, then I will know the next step to take."
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
I relate to this article. 
Emotional detachment is a state of inner calmness and poise, and the ability not be emotionally agitated by what people say or do, by events, and by your negative thoughts.
It is a skill, which can help you keep your mental and emotional poise and balance and not take things too personally.
Positive emotional detachment is not a state of indifference or passivity, and does not mean lack of interest or lack of feelings. True detachment is something else. It is an attitude of open-mindedness and being practical.
You can be loving, caring, interested in people, and yet keep a certain measure of detachment. This would protect you from becoming too attached for your own good, or emotionally drained by negative people.
People, who possess detachment, keep their poise when they run into problems or trouble. They accept the good and the bad equally, because their minds are in a state inner balance and peace. They do not get upset, if their plans do not turn out as expected.
It is a skill, which can help you keep your mental and emotional poise and balance and not take things too personally.
Positive emotional detachment is not a state of indifference or passivity, and does not mean lack of interest or lack of feelings. True detachment is something else. It is an attitude of open-mindedness and being practical.
You can be loving, caring, interested in people, and yet keep a certain measure of detachment. This would protect you from becoming too attached for your own good, or emotionally drained by negative people.
People, who possess detachment, keep their poise when they run into problems or trouble. They accept the good and the bad equally, because their minds are in a state inner balance and peace. They do not get upset, if their plans do not turn out as expected.
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