Hung out with an old drinking buddy last night
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
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Hung out with an old drinking buddy last night
He had been drinking before we met, I could tell. He lives in another city now, raising a family, getting on in age like everyone. We were college and post-college friends who never hung out without drinks in hand.
We took a walk through the city for a bit, stopped to get an iced coffee for me, then hit up a bar so he could have a couple beers. I recently told him I quit drinking, over texts, and he always asks when things come up - a friend's party, big game - if I'm still sober. Yes man, I am.
It felt good to be sober. I checked myself to make sure I wasn't feeling superior or self-righteous. Instead what I identified feeling was calm relief - relief I wasn't wasting money, wasn't starting to repeat myself or get slurry and sentimental like he was.
We hung out, shared some stories. I sipped a seltzer he kindly got me from the bar and that was that.
Once you get a certain distance from the poison and the heinous spell it casts you come to realize that there's nothing to envy in those who are still trapped there. I had some frozen yogurt on my walk home, listened to some music and felt the peace only sobriety can bring.
I wish I could have known this years ago and gotten here. But I'm here now. And I'm grateful.
We took a walk through the city for a bit, stopped to get an iced coffee for me, then hit up a bar so he could have a couple beers. I recently told him I quit drinking, over texts, and he always asks when things come up - a friend's party, big game - if I'm still sober. Yes man, I am.
It felt good to be sober. I checked myself to make sure I wasn't feeling superior or self-righteous. Instead what I identified feeling was calm relief - relief I wasn't wasting money, wasn't starting to repeat myself or get slurry and sentimental like he was.
We hung out, shared some stories. I sipped a seltzer he kindly got me from the bar and that was that.
Once you get a certain distance from the poison and the heinous spell it casts you come to realize that there's nothing to envy in those who are still trapped there. I had some frozen yogurt on my walk home, listened to some music and felt the peace only sobriety can bring.
I wish I could have known this years ago and gotten here. But I'm here now. And I'm grateful.
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Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 674
Originally Posted by lessgravity 
I recently told him I quit drinking, over texts, and he always asks when things come up - a friend's party, big game - if I'm still sober. Yes man, I am.
I'm curious if you found yourself looking at your friend any differently now that you've got a decent amount of sober time and self empowerment going on?
For me I think I see how booze holds a couple of my old buds/ colleagues back. I'm generally careful not to judge persay, but it's hard for me to not think a couple of them have a tiger by the ears so to speak.
B
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Originally Posted by Buckley3
There are a couple of colleagues at work that share my background of party animal. Now that they know I'm sober they seem to always feel the need to talk with me about booze - especially early in any conversation work related or otherwise. It's a strange dynamic and I can't help but feel like they feel threatened by my sobriety in some way?
I'm curious if you found yourself looking at your friend any differently now that you've got a decent amount of sober time and self empowerment going on?
For me I think I see how booze holds a couple of my old buds/ colleagues back. I'm generally careful not to judge persay, but it's hard for me to not think a couple of them have a tiger by the ears so to speak.
B
I'm curious if you found yourself looking at your friend any differently now that you've got a decent amount of sober time and self empowerment going on?
For me I think I see how booze holds a couple of my old buds/ colleagues back. I'm generally careful not to judge persay, but it's hard for me to not think a couple of them have a tiger by the ears so to speak.
B
But in truth I only feel sympathy for a my friend, or people like that, slaves still to the booze. While I recognize there are plenty of people who have a healthy relationship with alcohol, I see plenty who do not and I only feel sympathy.
I got to the gym at 7am this morning and then was walking around my neighborhood, enjoying the morning. Texted with my friend who was horribly hungover. There is just zero envy I feel for that experience.
Even yesterday we also met some other friends who had bloody marys at brunch. Seemed to me that I had just as many laughs and enjoyed the food just as much as they did without the booze. And then later that day, rather than feeling crappy like they did, and wanting more as I always would have, I felt great.
I know my AV will come knocking one day but right now there is just nothing about drinking that I care to experience ever again.
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Location: Brit in New Zealand
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Some people do get very uncomfortable around teetotallers. They tend to be the people who have a drinking problem themselves and misery loves company. Or just judgmental, immature idiots who are not worth a millisecond of one's time.
Agree with you completely about not envying people still in my old ways. I cycled home on Friday night from work and passed four women walking down the road.
They were all utterly out of their trees. While they were laughing and joking with each other they were swerving all over the place, could barely stand and I couldn't understand what they were saying as they were so slurred.
I'm not judging anyone who gets tanked because that would be ridiculous, I just don't want that anymore. Ever again. I can't believe I used to think getting in that state was fun let alone a state of normality towards the end.
Like you said, lessgravity, booze weaves an evil spell on us, and seeing the effects on other people, with the rose-tinted glasses firmly off and the spell broken makes me feel so grateful I escaped. I hope your old buddy breaks the spell too
Agree with you completely about not envying people still in my old ways. I cycled home on Friday night from work and passed four women walking down the road.
They were all utterly out of their trees. While they were laughing and joking with each other they were swerving all over the place, could barely stand and I couldn't understand what they were saying as they were so slurred.
I'm not judging anyone who gets tanked because that would be ridiculous, I just don't want that anymore. Ever again. I can't believe I used to think getting in that state was fun let alone a state of normality towards the end.
Like you said, lessgravity, booze weaves an evil spell on us, and seeing the effects on other people, with the rose-tinted glasses firmly off and the spell broken makes me feel so grateful I escaped. I hope your old buddy breaks the spell too
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Originally Posted by lessgravity
Once you get a certain distance from the poison and the heinous spell it casts you come to realize that there's nothing to envy in those who are still trapped there. I had some frozen yogurt on my walk home, listened to some music and felt the peace only sobriety can bring.
I wish I could have known this years ago and gotten here. But I'm here now. And I'm grateful.
I wish I could have known this years ago and gotten here. But I'm here now. And I'm grateful.
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Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 524
It's interesting this topic. One of my best friends is an alcoholic / problem drinker, but he is in denial.
We used to be two peas in a pod, we were always the ones out of our group of friends, who would when on holiday, go out and get utterly drunk, and then wake up in the morning horribly hungover, and start drinking again. Basically we were enabling each other and because we were best mates, and saw each other drinking so much, we kind of were in denial about it and just thought it was funny.
Anyway, the reason I say this is because, that friend has carried on drinking whereas I am now nearly 3 months sober. He text me just yesterday saying he had been on a 3 day bender, couldn't remember getting home last night, woke up with cuts and bruises and a bang on his head. Anyway, he says he knows he will either end up in hospital or prison from his drinking, but he says until it happens he doesn't see how he can stop.
I've tried to sell him the virtues of sobriety, and saying how amazing life is without drinking, but I suppose it's a path he needs to discover himself when he's ready.
The difference between him and me though, is I was made of less constitution, so whenever we had our benders, I'd be coming off worse, and I was basically a non functioning drinker, which led to needing to quit to get my life in order.
Whereas he holds down a well paying job, and is a functioning drinker, but he is still an alcoholic. I've tried telling him moderation is impossible, it's all or nothing.
Anyway, I have purposely tried not to be too forceful, to come across as self righteous, but I am trying to gently remind him that he really does have a problem and it will catch up with him sooner or later.
We used to be two peas in a pod, we were always the ones out of our group of friends, who would when on holiday, go out and get utterly drunk, and then wake up in the morning horribly hungover, and start drinking again. Basically we were enabling each other and because we were best mates, and saw each other drinking so much, we kind of were in denial about it and just thought it was funny.
Anyway, the reason I say this is because, that friend has carried on drinking whereas I am now nearly 3 months sober. He text me just yesterday saying he had been on a 3 day bender, couldn't remember getting home last night, woke up with cuts and bruises and a bang on his head. Anyway, he says he knows he will either end up in hospital or prison from his drinking, but he says until it happens he doesn't see how he can stop.
I've tried to sell him the virtues of sobriety, and saying how amazing life is without drinking, but I suppose it's a path he needs to discover himself when he's ready.
The difference between him and me though, is I was made of less constitution, so whenever we had our benders, I'd be coming off worse, and I was basically a non functioning drinker, which led to needing to quit to get my life in order.
Whereas he holds down a well paying job, and is a functioning drinker, but he is still an alcoholic. I've tried telling him moderation is impossible, it's all or nothing.
Anyway, I have purposely tried not to be too forceful, to come across as self righteous, but I am trying to gently remind him that he really does have a problem and it will catch up with him sooner or later.
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