Saying bye to my addictions
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1
Saying bye to my addictions
Hello all,
I am new to the site i have been doing alot of reading and decided i need to post. I am a 28 and today is the second day in lord knows how long that i have not smoked weed nor engaged in viewing of porn. I love weed and the things ive discovered about myself in the years of smoking . the porn has always kind of disgusted me however i couldnt control myself specially if i had smoked.
I have been a heavy marijuana smoker for the last 8 years of my life ( oz or so a week). I was/am a HIGH FUNCTIONING ADDICT stoned all day everyday and coworkers/ friends wouldnt know unless i told them(my parents are both high functioning alcoholics) I have been telling myself i need to quit for the last 3 years not only because of how much it cost but because I WAS always stoned and i became allergic to it , sneezing as i broke the bud down then if i were to rub my eyes they would swell up. I would smoke and lose my voice. No matter the side effects i kept on smoking.
I would smoke every morning straight after getting out of bed. I almost needed it to get going. I told myself it helped me concentrate it help me deal with people. ( i feel as if i havent completed a complete thought or sentence this whole time, I normally write something high) My saying to myself and why i didn't quit Weed is better than Alcohol/ gambling or another drug. At least i wouldn't be drunk and aggressive or stealing **** to get high if i was smoking. Ive over the years realized these are the same excuses any one uses to make what they are doing seem right.(ive had multiple siblings in & out of rehab/jail for a variety of drugs & alcohol over the years) I have my first child on the way and i do not want them to have the same opinion on me as i do of my parents , subjecting them to the bipolarness of not being out of /not being able to consume (alcholol) weed. (although weed doesn't make me violent)
Day one was relatively easy because i was traveling home and hungover from a wedding. Day 2 has been awful. I have been irritable , angry, depressed. Questioning if i really even want to stop smoking because i dont want to drink ..(how does someone stay sober for they whole life?) Ive tried to control it just smoke after work or at certain times but i cannot. If i have the weed i smoke the weed!
The porn addiction started when i was much younger maybe 15. I used to masturbate just to kill time. Then next thing i knew i couldn't be idle and alone masturbating multiple times a day. It came to a point where i couldnt become aroused & gave myself tendentious. I am ashamed i let myself get this far but i am committed to becoming better person and hopefully a great father.
I plan on posting whenever my cravings get bad. to remind myself why im doing this. because mary jane has been my ride or die the last few years and i dont want to leave her but i must. Day 2 is almost in the books im going to go lay in bed and toss and turn all night and think about how good a blunt will be. Ill get over it .
any advice is much appreciated.
I am new to the site i have been doing alot of reading and decided i need to post. I am a 28 and today is the second day in lord knows how long that i have not smoked weed nor engaged in viewing of porn. I love weed and the things ive discovered about myself in the years of smoking . the porn has always kind of disgusted me however i couldnt control myself specially if i had smoked.
I have been a heavy marijuana smoker for the last 8 years of my life ( oz or so a week). I was/am a HIGH FUNCTIONING ADDICT stoned all day everyday and coworkers/ friends wouldnt know unless i told them(my parents are both high functioning alcoholics) I have been telling myself i need to quit for the last 3 years not only because of how much it cost but because I WAS always stoned and i became allergic to it , sneezing as i broke the bud down then if i were to rub my eyes they would swell up. I would smoke and lose my voice. No matter the side effects i kept on smoking.
I would smoke every morning straight after getting out of bed. I almost needed it to get going. I told myself it helped me concentrate it help me deal with people. ( i feel as if i havent completed a complete thought or sentence this whole time, I normally write something high) My saying to myself and why i didn't quit Weed is better than Alcohol/ gambling or another drug. At least i wouldn't be drunk and aggressive or stealing **** to get high if i was smoking. Ive over the years realized these are the same excuses any one uses to make what they are doing seem right.(ive had multiple siblings in & out of rehab/jail for a variety of drugs & alcohol over the years) I have my first child on the way and i do not want them to have the same opinion on me as i do of my parents , subjecting them to the bipolarness of not being out of /not being able to consume (alcholol) weed. (although weed doesn't make me violent)
Day one was relatively easy because i was traveling home and hungover from a wedding. Day 2 has been awful. I have been irritable , angry, depressed. Questioning if i really even want to stop smoking because i dont want to drink ..(how does someone stay sober for they whole life?) Ive tried to control it just smoke after work or at certain times but i cannot. If i have the weed i smoke the weed!
The porn addiction started when i was much younger maybe 15. I used to masturbate just to kill time. Then next thing i knew i couldn't be idle and alone masturbating multiple times a day. It came to a point where i couldnt become aroused & gave myself tendentious. I am ashamed i let myself get this far but i am committed to becoming better person and hopefully a great father.
I plan on posting whenever my cravings get bad. to remind myself why im doing this. because mary jane has been my ride or die the last few years and i dont want to leave her but i must. Day 2 is almost in the books im going to go lay in bed and toss and turn all night and think about how good a blunt will be. Ill get over it .
any advice is much appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by amw2308 
Hello all,
I am new to the site i have been doing alot of reading and decided i need to post. I am a 28 and today is the second day in lord knows how long that i have not smoked weed nor engaged in viewing of porn. I love weed and the things ive discovered about myself in the years of smoking . the porn has always kind of disgusted me however i couldnt control myself specially if i had smoked.
I have been a heavy marijuana smoker for the last 8 years of my life ( oz or so a week). I was/am a HIGH FUNCTIONING ADDICT stoned all day everyday and coworkers/ friends wouldnt know unless i told them(my parents are both high functioning alcoholics) I have been telling myself i need to quit for the last 3 years not only because of how much it cost but because I WAS always stoned and i became allergic to it , sneezing as i broke the bud down then if i were to rub my eyes they would swell up. I would smoke and lose my voice. No matter the side effects i kept on smoking.
I would smoke every morning straight after getting out of bed. I almost needed it to get going. I told myself it helped me concentrate it help me deal with people. ( i feel as if i havent completed a complete thought or sentence this whole time, I normally write something high) My saying to myself and why i didn't quit Weed is better than Alcohol/ gambling or another drug. At least i wouldn't be drunk and aggressive or stealing **** to get high if i was smoking. Ive over the years realized these are the same excuses any one uses to make what they are doing seem right.(ive had multiple siblings in & out of rehab/jail for a variety of drugs & alcohol over the years) I have my first child on the way and i do not want them to have the same opinion on me as i do of my parents , subjecting them to the bipolarness of not being out of /not being able to consume (alcholol) weed. (although weed doesn't make me violent)
Day one was relatively easy because i was traveling home and hungover from a wedding. Day 2 has been awful. I have been irritable , angry, depressed. Questioning if i really even want to stop smoking because i dont want to drink ..(how does someone stay sober for they whole life?) Ive tried to control it just smoke after work or at certain times but i cannot. If i have the weed i smoke the weed!
The porn addiction started when i was much younger maybe 15. I used to masturbate just to kill time. Then next thing i knew i couldn't be idle and alone masturbating multiple times a day. It came to a point where i couldnt become aroused & gave myself tendentious. I am ashamed i let myself get this far but i am committed to becoming better person and hopefully a great father.
I plan on posting whenever my cravings get bad. to remind myself why im doing this. because mary jane has been my ride or die the last few years and i dont want to leave her but i must. Day 2 is almost in the books im going to go lay in bed and toss and turn all night and think about how good a blunt will be. Ill get over it .
any advice is much appreciated.
I am new to the site i have been doing alot of reading and decided i need to post. I am a 28 and today is the second day in lord knows how long that i have not smoked weed nor engaged in viewing of porn. I love weed and the things ive discovered about myself in the years of smoking . the porn has always kind of disgusted me however i couldnt control myself specially if i had smoked.
I have been a heavy marijuana smoker for the last 8 years of my life ( oz or so a week). I was/am a HIGH FUNCTIONING ADDICT stoned all day everyday and coworkers/ friends wouldnt know unless i told them(my parents are both high functioning alcoholics) I have been telling myself i need to quit for the last 3 years not only because of how much it cost but because I WAS always stoned and i became allergic to it , sneezing as i broke the bud down then if i were to rub my eyes they would swell up. I would smoke and lose my voice. No matter the side effects i kept on smoking.
I would smoke every morning straight after getting out of bed. I almost needed it to get going. I told myself it helped me concentrate it help me deal with people. ( i feel as if i havent completed a complete thought or sentence this whole time, I normally write something high) My saying to myself and why i didn't quit Weed is better than Alcohol/ gambling or another drug. At least i wouldn't be drunk and aggressive or stealing **** to get high if i was smoking. Ive over the years realized these are the same excuses any one uses to make what they are doing seem right.(ive had multiple siblings in & out of rehab/jail for a variety of drugs & alcohol over the years) I have my first child on the way and i do not want them to have the same opinion on me as i do of my parents , subjecting them to the bipolarness of not being out of /not being able to consume (alcholol) weed. (although weed doesn't make me violent)
Day one was relatively easy because i was traveling home and hungover from a wedding. Day 2 has been awful. I have been irritable , angry, depressed. Questioning if i really even want to stop smoking because i dont want to drink ..(how does someone stay sober for they whole life?) Ive tried to control it just smoke after work or at certain times but i cannot. If i have the weed i smoke the weed!
The porn addiction started when i was much younger maybe 15. I used to masturbate just to kill time. Then next thing i knew i couldn't be idle and alone masturbating multiple times a day. It came to a point where i couldnt become aroused & gave myself tendentious. I am ashamed i let myself get this far but i am committed to becoming better person and hopefully a great father.
I plan on posting whenever my cravings get bad. to remind myself why im doing this. because mary jane has been my ride or die the last few years and i dont want to leave her but i must. Day 2 is almost in the books im going to go lay in bed and toss and turn all night and think about how good a blunt will be. Ill get over it .
any advice is much appreciated.
No Dogma Please
Join Date: Jul 2017
Location: SoCal
Posts: 2,562
Good job AMW. I smoked a fair amount of weed in my teens and early 20s, but all of a sudden it just stopped agreeing with me, so I just stopped with no effort.
What you describe as having a porn addiction I think of as fairly normal teenage male behavior, but everyone's different.
Weed is a tough one, especially now that it's legal (at least in many states). It doesn't carry a huge physical withdrawal as it leaves the body so slowly, but I know there were potheads in my rehab groups that were having a really hard time with not smoking.
If it helps, my bestie was a HUGE HUGE pot smoker. I remember him at Coachella with three joints all going at the same time walking through the crowd in a cloud of smoke. He's a proud father now, still smokes, but rarely. He found that when he didn't smoke regularly, when he DID smoke, even a little bit, he'd get totally baked to the point where it was unpleasant.
Have you looked into some sort of formal recovery group? Have you made a sobriety plan?
Btw, I am looking forward to staying sober for my entire life. It's a good thing. Life is way more fun sober.
What you describe as having a porn addiction I think of as fairly normal teenage male behavior, but everyone's different.
Weed is a tough one, especially now that it's legal (at least in many states). It doesn't carry a huge physical withdrawal as it leaves the body so slowly, but I know there were potheads in my rehab groups that were having a really hard time with not smoking.
If it helps, my bestie was a HUGE HUGE pot smoker. I remember him at Coachella with three joints all going at the same time walking through the crowd in a cloud of smoke. He's a proud father now, still smokes, but rarely. He found that when he didn't smoke regularly, when he DID smoke, even a little bit, he'd get totally baked to the point where it was unpleasant.
Have you looked into some sort of formal recovery group? Have you made a sobriety plan?
Btw, I am looking forward to staying sober for my entire life. It's a good thing. Life is way more fun sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Welcome, so glad you are here and working on your addictions!
We know addiction, regardless of what it is, and how it can overcome and control our lives. This process will be a huge learning process for you and expect difficult times, but don't let them deter you. Keep posting, make a plan for those difficult days, and force yourself to stick to it.
It's better on this side
We know addiction, regardless of what it is, and how it can overcome and control our lives. This process will be a huge learning process for you and expect difficult times, but don't let them deter you. Keep posting, make a plan for those difficult days, and force yourself to stick to it.
It's better on this side
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