rayna87

I think the past 2 weeks have been so “easy” because I’ve been kept to myself. I honestly prefer it that way...I’m not usually one to initiate plans, even during my heaviest of drinking days, so if I don’t hear from anymore, I’ve always been more than perfectly content spending the weekend with Netflix and my couch. And 2ish bottles of wine. Or these days, 2ish cans of La Croix.

I knew it was only a matter of time. Today I got a Facebook invitation to my cousin’s girlfriend’s birthday party. The party is not even for another month. But. Minus that first weekend when I went to our bar with my best friend who was already drunk at 4pm, really just to shut her up because I know how irrationally mean she can get when she’s drunk (99% of the time her boyfriend is on the receiving end of that but I did NOT need to be taking any chances)...i don’t even count that though because it was really just babysitting duty for me. This, though, is the first time I’m looking at a real social event that, of course, revolves entirely around drinking and “drinking games” and “beer olympics” and whatever other nonsense he put in the event invitation. I still have 100% confidence in myself that I can go to this, and be fine, plus at the end of the day it’s my FAMILY. I know even if I don’t have 18 shots with everyone for the girlfriend’s birthday, she and my cousin and those that are worth my time will not give a crap! They are totally different than the drunk best friend I keep mentioning, whose butt I feel the need to constantly kiss, because she’s really my only real friend here and I need her, so I do things like go to bars with her on my first weekend sober in 3 years. I know this party next month is so very different than that, so it will be okay and i will be safe. Plus I’m hoping in a month I’ll be even more happy with this ongoing sobriety that it won’t even be an issue?

Wholesome

I avoided events where the main focus was on drinking in the early days, not because I was afraid I'd drink, but because I knew it would make me uncomfortable and I would be hyper-aware of all the alcohol around me and feel like I stuck out for not drinking it. I still avoid them to this day, but now it's because they don't interest me at all. Why put yourself through it rayna? It doesn't sound like a good time for a non-drinker....

Primativo

I would normally recommend avoiding it, but I gather from your posts you are quite lonely where you are, so I think a social event would do you good. That said, only you know how strong you feel with your sobriety.

I went to my best friends engagement drinks within my first month of recovery. It was fine, I wasn't tempted to drink at all, I only stayed for a few hours. Just make sure you have a plan prepared on what to do if you get tempted. Do you have a friend you can speak with? an escape plan? What helps would be to make it clear to somebody when you arrive that you aren't drinking, anchor some accountability to a few good friends as soon as you get there. I know once I told people I wasn't drinking, subconsciously it cemented the fact I wouldn't drink, even though I wasn't planning to and didn't want to anyway. It just kind of helps confirm it to yourself by actively saying it out loud to people, rather than just thinking it in your head.

August252015

I would absolutely pass on this event.
For me, no one and nothing is worth risking my emotional sobriety (now) nor was worth risking my physical sobriety (then).

Are you working a recovery program?

DreamCatcher17

I hope you have a fun sober time!
I only suggest having an escape plan in case you get the nasty AV.

tekink

Same for me, it would exhaust me trying to keep my mind steady and it did cause me to relapse a couple times after the fact.

That said I'm also around alcohol more than most people as my job forces it. If I was in another line of work it might not exhaust me so much. My wife and I run a wine bar and it provided extra challenge for me, especially in the early days.

ReadyAtLast

I would also give it a miss. I don't need to test myself. I know going to a drinking party is not a good idea.

tomsteve

My first real tests

i have had tests i thought i would pass with flying colors only to find out that wasnt the case.

MissPerfumado

I also think it's better to pass if you're feeling shaky at all. But if you go, I second Primativo's advice.

I had a work thing about 5 weeks into sobriety where there was really only talking and drinking on offer. My company was hosting and I could not duck out early. I had a close friend who was also a work client and she was invited. She knew I had quit. I stuck pretty close to her for the evening. It really helped. Having her close by gave me the assurance I could have support if I needed it, and kept me accountable.