BlueMegaFool

That is why I am here. I don't leave my home much so I thought I would try online. I am sober this morning. Grateful to be sober but can't shake the blues. Just feeling blah with no motivation or purpose. That is where my head is at as most mornings of late.

Bird615

Welcome to SR, BlueMegaFool!

If support is what your looking for, you'll find it here along with great information to help guide you on the best path for you to stay sober.

Once I accepted that getting sober was just going to feel pretty uncomfortable at first, I was more prepared to ride that out until things started to get better. Before that, as soon as I started feeling bad again, drinking was the only way I knew how to deal with anything.

It's such a relief to know I don't have to pick up a drink today.

keeppushing

Welcome BMF. Keep posting. You'll soon have the connections that will help you through your recovery.

KP

JK130

Welcome! I think you'll find that pushing through with dumping alcohol will help overcome the lack of motivation and the "blahs". Waking up sober this morning is a great start! If social anxiety is what's keeping you at home (nods head in understanding) I've found that just getting out (even when I don't talk to anyone) helps lift my mood. Smiling at people makes me feel better too, as does doing small kindnesses for others. I think you'll enjoy SR, and maybe find conversations here helpful to banish the blues. :-)

Berrybean

Welcome BMF. How long is it since your last drink? Just to get an idea where you are in your sobriety / recovery journey.

How come you don't leave your home much? Is that something that you could change? Isolating doesn't do anyone any favors, let alone alcoholics. It leaves us sitting there listening to our own alcoholic thoughts and eventually we're likely to start listening to the bugger.

Anyway -keep reading and posting.

BB

BlueMegaFool

It is 89 days today. That's pretty amazing to me. I do want to live free of the nightmare that is alcohol for me. I don't actually even leave my room that much anymore. It is my comfort zone. I want to have friends but I don't want to do anything that is required to have friends......like leave my house and talk to people for example. There is a Thursday night meeting I have been to in the last 89 days and I am planning on going this Thursday. Of course I say that every week but when the time comes to go I freeze up and don't go.

I have much work to do if I am going to remain sober and start living again.

Gilmer

Keep reading and posting here.

Soon you’ll be emboldened to try new things.

You’ll no doubt encounter many people on here you can identify with, and learning their experiences will inspire you to begin slowly stepping outside the comfort zone.

As you become firmer in your recovery, you will have the power and freedom to choose for yourself what to incorporate into your life, instead of having to settle by default for listlessness.

JK130

3 months is terrific! You deserve your new life, and if, for you, that means starting with a meeting - we'll be here cheering you on! What else have you got in mind?

BlueMegaFool

Your right. I have noticed that but haven't really thought it through until I read your post. I am going to make getting out of the house at least once a day a part of staying sober. Thank you for pointing that out.

Berrybean

I remember that feeling that I WAS sober, but I wasn't LIVING sober. It was a pretty depressing realisation, but I made the best of it, and that realisation became a bit of a turning point.

Why not call your local AA hotline number and see if you can chat to anither man from that meeting. There could be a chance of meeting up so you don't have to walk in alone. Even the fact that you've told someone you'll be there can make a difference - I had not made it to lots of meetings. Some I never set out to. Others I got there and just walked on past, too scared and embarrassed to walk in the door. Eventually I made contact (via email not by phone) and exchanged some personal emails with a local AAer and committed to a date and time for my first meeting, and that was the one I got to .

If you aren't working it might be worth looking into other opportunities for you to get out and about in a more purposeful way. Volunteering is always good for sobriety. Keeps us busy and purposeful and changes our habits, and also helps us not listen to that AV when it starts piping up that we're worthless and no one cares about us anyway and all that other old tosh it fires at us.

BB

Berrybean

Ps I'm presuming you mean AA meeting by the way. Apologies if that's off track.

Might be worth immersing yourself in some AA literature between now and Thursday as well. Get some momentum going. The Big Book is free to read online. There's also loads of AA speaker recordings that are free to download and listen to that you could tap into. The step 1 choices are here... https://www.recoveryaudio.org/step-1-speaker-tapes
My faves are Earl Hightower and Sandy Beach, but there are loads of great ones to choose from.

BB

least

Welcome to the family and congrats on three months sober!

Hevyn

It's great to meet you, BlueMegaFool. You're in good company here - we all understand what you're going through. I'm so glad you want to make this big change in your life - it really helps to talk things over here at SR. You're never alone.

Dee74

Welcome aboard BlueMegaFool and congrats on your upcoming 90 days

I was housebound for a long time - this community really helped me, so I know we can help you too

D

rjyerkes

Congrats on 89 days!

I isolate as well and the further I get into that rut the more I wanna continue it. It's a vicious cycle but I totally agree with JK130, forcing oneself to just get out and go SOMEWHERE and do SOMETHING always feels better. More hopeful and alive. It gets me out of my head, where I spend so much time.

Good for you coming here and being honest. We can do this!

BlueMegaFool

Thank you for the simple suggestions. The thoughts that I need to get out of my room and I need to get out of my head get lost in the growing snoball of negative thoughts. They are there but, idk but. I came here and had the simple and obvious pointed out and my mind says "oh yeah right". It can make a difference. I was in my care heading downtown when U2's Mysterious Ways came on. My hand went to the volume and before I knew it I was in a good mood. Pretty simple.

I spent more then a few hours reading over posts today and I found myself wanting to get to a meeting. Didn't happen. It will.

Thank you all who come here and share in these forums. It has had an effect on this head I live in. May be small but it is nice to here other peoples thoughts instead of just mine all the time.

Good night all.

sokatie

All your posts have struck a chord in me. You have a huge amount of optimism mixed in with your "blueness". I know the optimism will win!

My grandmother used to say, "When you're feeling blue, do something for somebody quick!"

You posted nice things to other's who are new, I bet that helped! I personally decided to seek a volunteer opportunity that will get me out of my head and house. Maybe an idea for you as well?

BlueMegaFool

Thanks sokatie. You just made my night.