New here and 5 days sober
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 3
New here and 5 days sober
Hi everyone, I'm brand new and this is my 5th day sober. It's the longest I've gone in about 15 years, not sure exactly when I'd say my problem drinking started. It sort of morphed from partying in high school and occasionally in college. Back to partying after college, I had a tendency to date musicians who were around a lot of drugs and alcohol. Never got into any real drugs, I loved how alcohol made me numb.
It turned into a daily habit when I could afford it. I settled into drinking a bottle of wine a night, but not over the whole night. I'd drink it quickly and on an empty stomach for maximum effect.
During the past year, it's gone up to 1-2 bottles sometimes 3 per day and was no longer limited to night time. Also, I've kept the day drinking and quantity a secret, even from my sig other and I've been feeling like a terrible person for behaving in this way. I had this visual of my behavior and how messed up it was, how I'd leave me if I were him, only he doesn't know and he should, but I'm afraid to tell him. I work from home so no one knows what I do while I'm working but me.
Anyways, I feel incredibly guilty, my life is just about to fall apart and I'm determined to not let it. I went to see a therapist on my planned first day of sobriety. I've been diagnosed with complex PTSD (a long time ago) and staying sober isn't going to be easy so I came here for some help. I feel safer disclosing and asking for help in an anonymous community.
5 days later, I feel really tired and it's very hard to get to actually doing any work. I'm anxious and depressed, it's been harder than normal to sleep. I'm more shaky than normal. (I always shake, I've had a tremor since I was a child.) How long does this last? I've been taking a B vitamin and Magnesium supplements since I read that both tend to be depleted, Magnesium especially in women who are chronic drinkers. I'm drinking water in addition to my one morning cup of coffee.
I really wanted to drink last night. I'm glad I didn't do it.
It turned into a daily habit when I could afford it. I settled into drinking a bottle of wine a night, but not over the whole night. I'd drink it quickly and on an empty stomach for maximum effect.
During the past year, it's gone up to 1-2 bottles sometimes 3 per day and was no longer limited to night time. Also, I've kept the day drinking and quantity a secret, even from my sig other and I've been feeling like a terrible person for behaving in this way. I had this visual of my behavior and how messed up it was, how I'd leave me if I were him, only he doesn't know and he should, but I'm afraid to tell him. I work from home so no one knows what I do while I'm working but me.
Anyways, I feel incredibly guilty, my life is just about to fall apart and I'm determined to not let it. I went to see a therapist on my planned first day of sobriety. I've been diagnosed with complex PTSD (a long time ago) and staying sober isn't going to be easy so I came here for some help. I feel safer disclosing and asking for help in an anonymous community.
5 days later, I feel really tired and it's very hard to get to actually doing any work. I'm anxious and depressed, it's been harder than normal to sleep. I'm more shaky than normal. (I always shake, I've had a tremor since I was a child.) How long does this last? I've been taking a B vitamin and Magnesium supplements since I read that both tend to be depleted, Magnesium especially in women who are chronic drinkers. I'm drinking water in addition to my one morning cup of coffee.
I really wanted to drink last night. I'm glad I didn't do it.
It gets better with more sober time so hang on and stay sober. 
Blue Belt
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Soberville, USA
Posts: 4,174
Skull,
I try not to give advice anymore since I am always 1 slip from day 1 again.
I enjoy reading about similar and different successes and struggles. I try to help where I can because it makes me feel good and helping folks has always been in my nature.
Anyway, I crave daily still but I know the result will be an escalating hell on earth that I have mostly escaped from. So I don't drink anymore.
Us addicts have a scientifically demonstrated physical and permanent brain damage. Our brains, probably most brains, have been altered forever by booze and other drugs.
To get better the brain has to rewire. This process takes years, hence the crave long after the physical addiction is gone.
Suffering is the word I use to describe the feeling of the crave during all phases of happiness and sadness etc.
It comes and goes. Excercise is my therepy mainly. I work out as much as I can stand and enjoy the feeling of pushing myself and the endorphins etc created by this.
Hope others come along and offer guidance. There is no mystery to getting and staying clean. We are designed to not drink booze. Drinking is a learned behavior that can be unlearned.
Thanks.
I try not to give advice anymore since I am always 1 slip from day 1 again.
I enjoy reading about similar and different successes and struggles. I try to help where I can because it makes me feel good and helping folks has always been in my nature.
Anyway, I crave daily still but I know the result will be an escalating hell on earth that I have mostly escaped from. So I don't drink anymore.
Us addicts have a scientifically demonstrated physical and permanent brain damage. Our brains, probably most brains, have been altered forever by booze and other drugs.
To get better the brain has to rewire. This process takes years, hence the crave long after the physical addiction is gone.
Suffering is the word I use to describe the feeling of the crave during all phases of happiness and sadness etc.
It comes and goes. Excercise is my therepy mainly. I work out as much as I can stand and enjoy the feeling of pushing myself and the endorphins etc created by this.
Hope others come along and offer guidance. There is no mystery to getting and staying clean. We are designed to not drink booze. Drinking is a learned behavior that can be unlearned.
Thanks.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Welcome to the family 
You mentioned A LOT of reasons you want to get sober. That's just as important as admitting you have a problem. The effect it is having on your health, your relationship, your job, you are right, your life is slowly slipping away.
5 days is AMAZING! I'm so happy for you
In my longest period of sobriety, here at SR was a daily staple for me. When I stop using this resource, chances are higher I'm closer to relapse. Check out the daily check-in thread one down, it's a wonderful way to start your day. Check through the Gratitude List if you haven't yet.
I'm on Day 5 too again, so lets do this together.
You mentioned A LOT of reasons you want to get sober. That's just as important as admitting you have a problem. The effect it is having on your health, your relationship, your job, you are right, your life is slowly slipping away.
5 days is AMAZING! I'm so happy for you
In my longest period of sobriety, here at SR was a daily staple for me. When I stop using this resource, chances are higher I'm closer to relapse. Check out the daily check-in thread one down, it's a wonderful way to start your day. Check through the Gratitude List if you haven't yet.
I'm on Day 5 too again, so lets do this together.
Ocean Lover!
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: You know nothing Jon Snow - UK
Posts: 2,604
Welcome SkullCandy and good work on getting to day 5! All the things you describe are very common in the first few weeks after quitting. It does get better but it takes time. I was up and down hourly in my first 2 weeks but now on day 26 and so glad I stuck with it.
I started going swimming every other day and found that really helped with the sleeping and depression side of it. Getting your body moving and the happy endorphines released regularly gave me a natural boost. I also downloaded some meditation music (some kind of buddhist chanting..it's quite good actually lol) and had early nights, put the music on for the first hour I was in bed to calm my mind and relax and falling asleep seems to be easier too. Anyhow, great to meet you and hope you stick around, lots of great people here, great advice and support too xx
I started going swimming every other day and found that really helped with the sleeping and depression side of it. Getting your body moving and the happy endorphines released regularly gave me a natural boost. I also downloaded some meditation music (some kind of buddhist chanting..it's quite good actually lol) and had early nights, put the music on for the first hour I was in bed to calm my mind and relax and falling asleep seems to be easier too. Anyhow, great to meet you and hope you stick around, lots of great people here, great advice and support too xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks, everyone.
I will try exercising, that sounds like a great way to cope. It's hard to think of doing when I'm so tired, most of the battle will be leaving the house lol.
SaturatedSeize, congrats yourself!
MantaLady, congrats 26 days!
I will try exercising, that sounds like a great way to cope. It's hard to think of doing when I'm so tired, most of the battle will be leaving the house lol.
SaturatedSeize, congrats yourself!
MantaLady, congrats 26 days!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 421
Originally Posted by SkullCandy 
I will try exercising, that sounds like a great way to cope. It's hard to think of doing when I'm so tired, most of the battle will be leaving the house.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
It's great to have you with us, SkullCandy - 5 days is fabulous. We know how difficult those early ones are.
When I first quit (after 30 yrs. of drinking) coming to SR really helped me with the anxiety I was feeling. Drinking was making me miserable, yet I was so afraid to let go of it. Reading other's stories & asking questions helped me - I knew I was no longer alone. You can do this!
When I first quit (after 30 yrs. of drinking) coming to SR really helped me with the anxiety I was feeling. Drinking was making me miserable, yet I was so afraid to let go of it. Reading other's stories & asking questions helped me - I knew I was no longer alone. You can do this!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Welcome SkullCandy and 5 days of sobriety is fantastic.
I agree with adding some exercise to your routine. I started taking long walks right after supper (when the urge to drink was strongest) and it helped immensely.
Guilt and shame are typical emotions in early recovery and it might take some time to past those feelings, but you will. Your depression and fatigue will begin to clear up soon, hopefully. If not, you can consider talking to your doctor at some point.
You will find lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
I agree with adding some exercise to your routine. I started taking long walks right after supper (when the urge to drink was strongest) and it helped immensely.
Guilt and shame are typical emotions in early recovery and it might take some time to past those feelings, but you will. Your depression and fatigue will begin to clear up soon, hopefully. If not, you can consider talking to your doctor at some point.
You will find lots of support here, so keep reading and posting.
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