Why are you sober?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 322
Why are you sober?
Hi everyone.
I noticed that alot of people have different ways of dealing with Alcohol Addiction and abuse. I wanted to see what peoples plans and strategies were in a few short dot points. What is your vision or your dream?
Also, write down what will test your sobriety skills in the future, what are you cautious about and what are you anticipating. ill start.
even though iam very early, i at least know what iam enjoying right now in my life to distract me from alcohol.
Days sober - 9
My vision - i have been drinking for 12 years, thats most of my twenties and younger. I don't want to be abnormal anymore.
Ways to keep Sober, whats working for me at this moment
- Finding as many non drinking social events in the evening as possible, too also train my social skills to their best ability and make new friends (ive always been abit of recluse).
- exercising, i have set a goal ( common method)
- playing my old life in my head. I could be back at this table with all my bottles any time i want - i dont want it.
- Enthusiasm and hope for my new life, the new people i will meet, the physical and mental changes i will gain and live a better life, and to gain back my respect amongst the people that know me as an idiot alcoholic.
- i know where i will be if i have a drink.
What worries me
- my attitude towards drinking in a few months when the fear of the old life has worn off - iam worried of the "one wont hurt, its been X months"
- the party vibes at a wedding or birthday party.
- sneakily forming new drinking habits to justify "it is not like your old life"
- telling a future partner about this problem, what her reaction will be.
In conclusion - i am tackling very early sobriety with those mentioned strategies, its not a huge list, but at least i know that i WANT IT, there is no more excuses.
What is in store for me i truly don't know, i will just have to wait and see. but for the moment i am quite confident I won't be going back to my drinking habits.
I noticed that alot of people have different ways of dealing with Alcohol Addiction and abuse. I wanted to see what peoples plans and strategies were in a few short dot points. What is your vision or your dream?
Also, write down what will test your sobriety skills in the future, what are you cautious about and what are you anticipating. ill start.
even though iam very early, i at least know what iam enjoying right now in my life to distract me from alcohol.
Days sober - 9
My vision - i have been drinking for 12 years, thats most of my twenties and younger. I don't want to be abnormal anymore.
Ways to keep Sober, whats working for me at this moment
- Finding as many non drinking social events in the evening as possible, too also train my social skills to their best ability and make new friends (ive always been abit of recluse).
- exercising, i have set a goal ( common method)
- playing my old life in my head. I could be back at this table with all my bottles any time i want - i dont want it.
- Enthusiasm and hope for my new life, the new people i will meet, the physical and mental changes i will gain and live a better life, and to gain back my respect amongst the people that know me as an idiot alcoholic.
- i know where i will be if i have a drink.
What worries me
- my attitude towards drinking in a few months when the fear of the old life has worn off - iam worried of the "one wont hurt, its been X months"
- the party vibes at a wedding or birthday party.
- sneakily forming new drinking habits to justify "it is not like your old life"
- telling a future partner about this problem, what her reaction will be.
In conclusion - i am tackling very early sobriety with those mentioned strategies, its not a huge list, but at least i know that i WANT IT, there is no more excuses.
What is in store for me i truly don't know, i will just have to wait and see. but for the moment i am quite confident I won't be going back to my drinking habits.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I don't expect to be tested in a serious way, but in the unlikely event I am, I have my support network to lean on.
I'm sober because I've lived drunk and this is light years ahead of that. Being sober is my natural state, and I believe that without reservation.
when I started everything tested me cos I did everything with a drink but my vision initially was simply not to die.
With that fear, and the support of the community here I got to a point where I could envisage me permanently changing my life.
Fear never lasts tho.
I can't over emphasise the importance of reaching out, not only for myself, but reaching out to help others too.
It not only made feel good - but I learned I really did know what were the right things to do
I'm sober because I've lived drunk and this is light years ahead of that. Being sober is my natural state, and I believe that without reservation.
when I started everything tested me cos I did everything with a drink but my vision initially was simply not to die.
With that fear, and the support of the community here I got to a point where I could envisage me permanently changing my life.
Fear never lasts tho.
I can't over emphasise the importance of reaching out, not only for myself, but reaching out to help others too.
It not only made feel good - but I learned I really did know what were the right things to do
Last edited by Dee74; 05-08-2018 at 03:17 AM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: uk
Posts: 2,428
If I am tested, I now have the tools to deal with it.
I feel with my support circle, I can deal with any bump in the road that comes along.
Although putting it into perspective, nothing is all that big! Even loss or illness is manageable with help and self care.
I am sober as I got so sick of living caught in a prison of drunkenness and all the behaviours I needed to support it. See that excellent post about "moderating". That pretty much says it all for me.
A drinking life is very very hard work.
Recovery is hard work but in a life enhancing way.
I feel with my support circle, I can deal with any bump in the road that comes along.
Although putting it into perspective, nothing is all that big! Even loss or illness is manageable with help and self care.
I am sober as I got so sick of living caught in a prison of drunkenness and all the behaviours I needed to support it. See that excellent post about "moderating". That pretty much says it all for me.
A drinking life is very very hard work.
Recovery is hard work but in a life enhancing way.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Why am I sober? I chose not to die at 39/40 as my dr projected if I keep going the way I was that Feb of 2016.
My vision? To live a sober, recovered life of gratitude that I have now and- to die sober.
I do this with AA. Spiritual support (I am Christian and different than my Methodist upbringing I connect strongly with Friar Richard Rohr's Franciscan mystic and real world connections teachings). Service to others (the ultimate purpose of AA).
I would wish the life of joy, fun, peace, fulfillment etc etc I have on anyone and everyone.
Everything in my life is better sober.
My vision? To live a sober, recovered life of gratitude that I have now and- to die sober.
I do this with AA. Spiritual support (I am Christian and different than my Methodist upbringing I connect strongly with Friar Richard Rohr's Franciscan mystic and real world connections teachings). Service to others (the ultimate purpose of AA).
I would wish the life of joy, fun, peace, fulfillment etc etc I have on anyone and everyone.
Everything in my life is better sober.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: US
Posts: 5,095
I'm sober because I'm dangerous and deadly when I drink. And I don't want to die a slow (or fast ) death by alcoholism. And my daughter needs me.
Being tested can happen anytime I allow it to. Life is just life. It happens all the time and there is no way to 'hide' from daily stressers, large and small. I have learned that all the things that happen in life, for the most part, are out of my control. The ones that aren't I act upon. Otherwise, I accept that life happens. Jobs are lost or not given, relationships can flourish or end, kids can be angels and at times devils, people do things that are irritating, things break, stuff doesn't work, dogs pee, people die. Its life. And it happens to ALL of us. And my job is to cope with each thing, one issue at a time. And that involves good and bad...because I drink 'at' both.
Things that worry me? Nothing. Everything. Its a choice. If I'm 'worried' about something or someone, I assess the situation, can I do anything? If I can, I do. If I can't, I don't. And I try to let it go to the best of my ability. I try to have faith that if I'm the best person I can be in that moment (and that includes messing up) then that is ok. Tomorrow will work out if I stay sober and take care of shlit as it arises.
telling a future partner about this problem, what her reaction will be.
From experience, wait for that future partner until this concern works itself out. There is nothing to be concerned about if you are no longer a drinker. Honesty, at least in my experience, is always the best policy. Doesn't mean I have to write a tell all, but being straight up gives my addiction no place to hide. Secrecy is where the problems start. That's just my experience.
Being tested can happen anytime I allow it to. Life is just life. It happens all the time and there is no way to 'hide' from daily stressers, large and small. I have learned that all the things that happen in life, for the most part, are out of my control. The ones that aren't I act upon. Otherwise, I accept that life happens. Jobs are lost or not given, relationships can flourish or end, kids can be angels and at times devils, people do things that are irritating, things break, stuff doesn't work, dogs pee, people die. Its life. And it happens to ALL of us. And my job is to cope with each thing, one issue at a time. And that involves good and bad...because I drink 'at' both.
Things that worry me? Nothing. Everything. Its a choice. If I'm 'worried' about something or someone, I assess the situation, can I do anything? If I can, I do. If I can't, I don't. And I try to let it go to the best of my ability. I try to have faith that if I'm the best person I can be in that moment (and that includes messing up) then that is ok. Tomorrow will work out if I stay sober and take care of shlit as it arises.
telling a future partner about this problem, what her reaction will be.
From experience, wait for that future partner until this concern works itself out. There is nothing to be concerned about if you are no longer a drinker. Honesty, at least in my experience, is always the best policy. Doesn't mean I have to write a tell all, but being straight up gives my addiction no place to hide. Secrecy is where the problems start. That's just my experience.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Big City
Posts: 3,895
Ren - that's is all really good, self-honest insightful stuff I think. I wish I stopped before my 40s, though that's water or gin under the bridge. Hope you can find the path to put it down for good now.
What worries me
- my attitude towards drinking in a few months when the fear of the old life has worn off - iam worried of the "one wont hurt, its been X months"
- the party vibes at a wedding or birthday party.
- sneakily forming new drinking habits to justify "it is not like your old life"
- telling a future partner about this problem, what her reaction will be.
All very legitimate and common concerns. As confident and sure as I am in my sobriety (finally), I know there will come times the AV emerges and the "its not like your old life" or "you've been so good, why not drink just once" will come knocking. I'm practicing disassociating with that voice, with that demon part of me, seeing it as actually separate from my true self as a way of combating it when it pipes up.
Social events - lots of advice here. Unless it's an all night drunk dance party (which I still might attend) I think that being sober among people who are close to you, even if they are drinking, can be a rewarding experience. For one, I've come to set that many many people barely drink, even though for years I thought they all were close to as drunk as I would get. For another you do see the drunks and I've found I have no envy for their slurred words, silly comments or the pain they will be in in the morning. And finally it feels good to be confident and funny and witty, or at least trying to be, sober the whole night rather than losing the thread of my story or even avoiding people in order to feed the Beast.
In re: significant other - I can understand how you feel. Like the woman might judge you or think something is wrong with you. I think many of us, me included, feel that way about being a non-drinker. I'm looking forward to a life where everyone who knows me knows I just simply don't drink - but that I am an example of health and fitness and clear-headedness and fun without it. Also you would want to be with a woman who appreciates you for who you are (or at least my mom told me that) And anyhow - do you think a woman wants a stumbling, messy, pathetic drunk or a strong, certain, focused guy who can have fun without the poison?
Thanks for the post, got me thinking today.
Originally Posted by Renvate 
What worries me
- my attitude towards drinking in a few months when the fear of the old life has worn off - iam worried of the "one wont hurt, its been X months"
- the party vibes at a wedding or birthday party.
- sneakily forming new drinking habits to justify "it is not like your old life"
- telling a future partner about this problem, what her reaction will be.
Social events - lots of advice here. Unless it's an all night drunk dance party (which I still might attend) I think that being sober among people who are close to you, even if they are drinking, can be a rewarding experience. For one, I've come to set that many many people barely drink, even though for years I thought they all were close to as drunk as I would get. For another you do see the drunks and I've found I have no envy for their slurred words, silly comments or the pain they will be in in the morning. And finally it feels good to be confident and funny and witty, or at least trying to be, sober the whole night rather than losing the thread of my story or even avoiding people in order to feed the Beast.
In re: significant other - I can understand how you feel. Like the woman might judge you or think something is wrong with you. I think many of us, me included, feel that way about being a non-drinker. I'm looking forward to a life where everyone who knows me knows I just simply don't drink - but that I am an example of health and fitness and clear-headedness and fun without it. Also you would want to be with a woman who appreciates you for who you are (or at least my mom told me that
) And anyhow - do you think a woman wants a stumbling, messy, pathetic drunk or a strong, certain, focused guy who can have fun without the poison?Thanks for the post, got me thinking today.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 260
I am sober today, all be it only 98 days. However I am sober today because the alternative is not attractive to me. I have chosen my health, life, Wife, children, parents, sibling, shall I go on? I have chosen this over ever picking up another drink.
All of the above vs 1 beer? Wasn't a hard choice.
All of the above vs 1 beer? Wasn't a hard choice.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Australia
Posts: 1,499
My vision went I quit was to lead a healthy, fulfilling, productive life. That's why I got sober. I did literally visualise it.
The first 12 months of sobriety were amazing. I achieved my vision.
Thereafter, my life continued on an upward trajectory. My job was going well, I was fit and healthy, I bought and settled in a new home, I met a wonderful man and began a new relationship ...
But the curious thing is ... the story doesn't end there.
In my 2nd year of sobriety, I began a deep questioning of my purpose in life. A truly bottom-up re-examination of my values. Questioning as in: why have I been put here on Earth? Now I have conquered my addiction, how can I serve?
I embarked on a spiritual journey and around my two year anniversary of getting sober, had a profound spiritual crisis / awakening / emergency.
In response, I began reengineering my job so that I now serve the community and am seeking to transform my profession. I am living a purpose-led life. I have a mission and a vision that is way beyond what motivated me when I first decided to quit.
It is very powerful to frame your quest for sobriety in the terms that you have. Setting a vision literally creates a future for yourself, and you are not so much pushed along by your past as pulled towards that future.
As you move into the doorway of that future life, that's where I believe miracles happen. I travelled through the first door of sobriety, and another door opened up, that was the true doorway that I was meant to walk through all along. It had been waiting for me, but remained hidden from view all the time I was lost in my addiction.
The first 12 months of sobriety were amazing. I achieved my vision.
Thereafter, my life continued on an upward trajectory. My job was going well, I was fit and healthy, I bought and settled in a new home, I met a wonderful man and began a new relationship ...
But the curious thing is ... the story doesn't end there.
In my 2nd year of sobriety, I began a deep questioning of my purpose in life. A truly bottom-up re-examination of my values. Questioning as in: why have I been put here on Earth? Now I have conquered my addiction, how can I serve?
I embarked on a spiritual journey and around my two year anniversary of getting sober, had a profound spiritual crisis / awakening / emergency.
In response, I began reengineering my job so that I now serve the community and am seeking to transform my profession. I am living a purpose-led life. I have a mission and a vision that is way beyond what motivated me when I first decided to quit.
It is very powerful to frame your quest for sobriety in the terms that you have. Setting a vision literally creates a future for yourself, and you are not so much pushed along by your past as pulled towards that future.
As you move into the doorway of that future life, that's where I believe miracles happen. I travelled through the first door of sobriety, and another door opened up, that was the true doorway that I was meant to walk through all along. It had been waiting for me, but remained hidden from view all the time I was lost in my addiction.
No More Hiding
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: New England
Posts: 46
I am sober because I am tired of numbing the good out of my life.
... because I simply cannot drink without negative consequences, even if others can
... because I want to break the cycle of alcoholism that has destroyed some of my family and friends
I do this by choosing life one day at a time, and by facing reality as it comes, rather than running away from it. By acceptance and submission.
... because I simply cannot drink without negative consequences, even if others can
... because I want to break the cycle of alcoholism that has destroyed some of my family and friends
I do this by choosing life one day at a time, and by facing reality as it comes, rather than running away from it. By acceptance and submission.
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