bluesymusey

To all struggling with addiction,

I am 19 days sober today after binging for 3.5 weeks.

I started the day after my birthday in Amsterdam after a family
visit. I literally could not stop until I took myself into the E.R. after
desperately trying to wean off, taper off, dilute, etc etc...

I've been down this road before. I've been sober for 19 months, 6 months, 9 months, and so on. I haven't been able to make it stick.

This time however, I had a BAC of .38 and was talking without even slurring to the doctors. This worried them tremendously. I was a couple drinks away from coma or cardiac arrest. It wasn't a matter of IF I was going to die if I kept going, but only a matter of when.

Several of my family members have passed from this addiction and I took a good hard look at where this poison always leads me. Never towards the light, always into the darkest abyss.

I decided I will do what it takes to be a MIRACLE instead of a statistic. To make the COMEBACK far greater than the setback. To LIVE instead of dying.

I also know that I can't do it alone.

I'm happy to be here & I look forward to this journey with you all!

Thank you

Hevyn

Welcome bluesymusey! It's so good to have you with us. The encouragement I found here made my sobriety journey possible. You're never alone.

I can relate to what you said. I got a dui years ago. I blew a .32. The officer said, 'You're amazingly coherent for someone with that bac'. I used to be proud of my ability to drink others under the table. I found out it was very dangerous to be have such a high tolerance. I'm so glad we've decided to get free of it.

(I love Amsterdam).

time2shineagain

Welcome bluesy! SR is a great place for support. Good to have you with us. Keep posting!

DarklingSong

Welcome to SR.....congratulations on 19 days too!

KG77

Your words are very inspiring. Thank you. Day 1 here. I'm going to make it this time.

Rar

Welcome Bluesymusey........I don't know what my BAC was when I quit, but on the evening I quit, I reached into the refrigerator for another beer and discovered the amount I already drank. I was astounded at the amount as I didn't even feel a buzz.

Congratulations on 19 days. Great job. Almost 3 weeks. .

apollo986

Great to hear your story Bluesy! look forward to hearing about your progress.

FreeOwl

wow.... .38 is some seriously dangerous business.

I'm glad you're:

a) Alive
b) Making a choice to live
c) Here with us
d) Sharing your story, helping me stay sober today with your reminder

You can do this.

Verdantia

Welcome, bluesy. I am very glad you are here. SR has been a huge part of my recovery, and I hope you stick around.

Anna

Welcome, and I know you will find lots of support here.

Ladysadie

You are inspiring Bluesy! Hoping you find the strength and willpower to continue your sobriety. I scared my own self into action when I would wake up from the night before and was appalled at the level in my vodka bottle. Used to be a fifth would last me two or three days but I progressed in my consumption. Do you want to know how really insane I got? I would wake up in the morning and pour what remained down the sink, thinking there was not enough left for me to "get my drunk on" (RED FLAG!) I'd tell myself that I was going to stop drinking but that afternoon I would go back into town and buy another fifth. Repeated often. Got to the point I was having numerous health scares indicating to me that I was on the precipice of serious ailments or death. I've been down the same road as many on SR, certainly finding this website has helped me understand I am not alone. I get both scared and inspired with the honesty and courage of other posters. It helps me keep the prize in sight - sobriety is a new life, second chance.

PalmerSage

Bluesey, I can totally relate to drinking a ton and not even feeling it. Saying that makes me think I must have been still drunk without even realizing it, especially at work and while driving (!!!) the morning after a heavy day and night of drinking. I'm so glad you're here and decided to share your story. Please keep posting.

Dee74

Welcome BluseyMusey

thats the stuff

D

bluesymusey

Thank you to all ! I've spent many hours this weekend on SR and it's really helped and inspired me!

I'm so glad to have landed here with all of you! I believe SR will be an imperative part of my recovery. I am so grateful!

FreeOwl

SR has been a key to my long term sobriety.

In the early days (first year or two) - AA was a critical part of the toolkit as well. And counseling on the regular (not related specifically to alcohol or drugs but in general.... dealing with the stuff of life..... using therapy as a sort of means of working through some of the things one would probably work through in the steps.... having support... learning about myself).

Over time, AA has taken less prominent a role in my life, but will always be a program I'm grateful for. I'm sure I wouldn't have made it to where I am without the in-person support, the Big Book, the learning, the evolving, the role models I could look up to in the program, the things I gained from sitting so many hundreds of hours around those tables.

I get that same set of things here as well, which sustains me - but I know that during those early years I needed the look-you-in-the-eye emotional connection of other human beings....

Anyway - good for you and keep it up!