My dad and his cocaine problem.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 1
My dad and his cocaine problem.
So I’m new to this site and I’m hoping it could help.
My dad has actively been taking drugs for 2 years now. Let me add, he isn’t my biological dad but has acted like one for 10 years. I found out a year ago that he had been taking cocaine - a year later and he’s still doing it. I feel alone.
He refuses to go to rehab and him and my mum argue constantly. My mum doesn’t trust him but sticks by his side throughout. I’ve had trauma in my life; my dad took his own life when I was 5 (I recently found out he was under the influence of drugs a lot too) and I’ve continued to carry that on my shoulders. My dad who is doing drugs means so much to me. We had a great bond but he continuously breaks it with broken promises and cocaine getting abused. I feel like there is nothing I can do.
I’ve been through councilling before due to the death of my biological dad and I fear I’ll have to do it again because of him. I don’t want him to die but in my head it’s etched that each inhalation of breath whilst snorting his cocaine could be his last and to me that’s heartbreaking.
Due to my age, I have no one to speak to. I can’t tell my friends because it’s embarrassing and I don’t want to for my dads sake, I can’t speak to my mum because she always speaks negative about the addiction when I don’t want to speak to her, I can’t speak to him because he snaps at me. I am alone and hoping for some guidance. I am 15, nearly 16. I have known about his addiction since I first turned 14 and I have bundled it up. My exams are coming up and I’m not focused because I want him to get help despite him refusing - please help me find what to say to make it worthwhile.
Any help is gladly appreciated. Thank you.
My dad has actively been taking drugs for 2 years now. Let me add, he isn’t my biological dad but has acted like one for 10 years. I found out a year ago that he had been taking cocaine - a year later and he’s still doing it. I feel alone.
He refuses to go to rehab and him and my mum argue constantly. My mum doesn’t trust him but sticks by his side throughout. I’ve had trauma in my life; my dad took his own life when I was 5 (I recently found out he was under the influence of drugs a lot too) and I’ve continued to carry that on my shoulders. My dad who is doing drugs means so much to me. We had a great bond but he continuously breaks it with broken promises and cocaine getting abused. I feel like there is nothing I can do.
I’ve been through councilling before due to the death of my biological dad and I fear I’ll have to do it again because of him. I don’t want him to die but in my head it’s etched that each inhalation of breath whilst snorting his cocaine could be his last and to me that’s heartbreaking.
Due to my age, I have no one to speak to. I can’t tell my friends because it’s embarrassing and I don’t want to for my dads sake, I can’t speak to my mum because she always speaks negative about the addiction when I don’t want to speak to her, I can’t speak to him because he snaps at me. I am alone and hoping for some guidance. I am 15, nearly 16. I have known about his addiction since I first turned 14 and I have bundled it up. My exams are coming up and I’m not focused because I want him to get help despite him refusing - please help me find what to say to make it worthwhile.
Any help is gladly appreciated. Thank you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Welcome to the family. 
You have a lot going on and I am sorry for what brings you here. 
We have a friends and family of substance abusers forum further down the main index page. I know you'll find lots of support here. 
You have a lot going on and I am sorry for what brings you here. We have a friends and family of substance abusers forum further down the main index page. I know you'll find lots of support here. Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Los Angeles, Ca
Posts: 535
I did cocaine and alcohol for 4 decades every week. I did this because it was my learned way of regaining control of my feelings. Life is difficult and various circumstances in life made me feel helpless, trapped and out of control. I regained control of my emotions (feelings) with the quick fix or mood changer of coke and booze. This worked for me and I continued on autopilot for decades as a high functioning drug addict. I was married with 4 kids and had achieved my goals and purpose in life. The truth is I had no more goals or purpose other than to medicate myself against life's inevitable adversity. In my corrupted reality I thought life should be easy, fair and painless and I should always get what I wanted. Cocaine and booze were my idols. Perhaps your father thinks in this corrupted fashion. Your father needs to find a new healthy purpose in life, that empowers him! A new way to regain control of his feelings. Since he refuses rehab, perhaps you can start with a frank conversation with him when he is sober. First and foremost tell him how important he is to you. Ask him WHY he drinks and drugs and if he thinks you should follow in his foot steps, if it is good for him?
Find out what he values in life and how he thinks, drugs help him achieve those values.
Find out what he values in life and how he thinks, drugs help him achieve those values.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hi. Welcome. Im sorry for what brings you here.
Have you ever read the info on the Nar-Anon website. There are specific groups for teenagers (Narateen) from families where drugs are an issue. Could be worth a peep.
Teen Newcomers ? Nar-Anon Family Groups
BB
Have you ever read the info on the Nar-Anon website. There are specific groups for teenagers (Narateen) from families where drugs are an issue. Could be worth a peep.
Teen Newcomers ? Nar-Anon Family Groups
BB
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Hi and welcome Sxneis
I think it's important you have some place to vent safely - so I'm glad you found us.
Is there anyone at your school you could talk to as well, like a counsellor or guidance officer?
D
I think it's important you have some place to vent safely - so I'm glad you found us.
Is there anyone at your school you could talk to as well, like a counsellor or guidance officer?
D
Last edited by Dee74; 04-16-2018 at 05:50 PM. Reason: error
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
I'm so sorry for your situation and what you are dealing with. Do you have a guidance counsellor at school who could help. You might like to check out these two links we have for teen support:
Family Teens Group - Support For Teens Affected by Alcoholism or Addiction within the Family.
Miracles In Progress Family Teens Group - For Teens whose lives are adversely effected by Alcoholism within the Family.
Family Teens Group - Support For Teens Affected by Alcoholism or Addiction within the Family.
Miracles In Progress Family Teens Group - For Teens whose lives are adversely effected by Alcoholism within the Family.
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