Letting life happen
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: CA
Posts: 10,681
Letting life happen
My son has been sober for the most part of 15 months. He had a 5 day binge which actually turned out pretty good. He was in a blackout and drinking in a church parking lot on a Saturday and the pastor just happened to walk to the church to get something.
The pastor took him under his wing and it has made a huge difference. My son and his girlfriend meet with him weekly for counseling and my son meets with him for a weekly bible study. My son is actually listening to him and doing bible homework. I can see that he is developing some good values and he is changing. It was God's 5 day binge plan.
In December of 2016 my son got a DUI and was in jail for a month. I read somewhere that connection was very important so I told him to call me every day. He has not missed a daily call in 14 months. Who knew he wanted to talk to me every day? It's so nice to be able to talk to him sober and not have to be the one who sends him out homeless, or to jail, or to a hospital. I just get to be a regular mom right now.
My brother is an alcoholic. His 35 year marriage just ended. My step daughter is surrounded by addiction. Her husband, son, brother, and father are all addicts. I talk to her a few times a week. She calls me to update me on her progress. I try to help her along, but let her go through her own process.
My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer last month. I had a really rough week trying to process that. They caught it early so I'm not real worried about that. My PTSD kicked in thinking about her body being mutilated with a mastectomy. I wanted to jump in and give her options, but recognized that I was trying to control the situation. She is doing fine on her own and is researching her options now.
I'm seeing that I can help without controlling and let everyone go through their own plan and process. It's wonderful to watch them process their lives in different ways. It's wonderful for me, that I don't feel responsible for everyone and I can give without losing myself in the process.
Life had been really, really hard, but it feels good when you can tell someone, you understand what they are going through. Sometimes that's all a person needs. I think that's why we are all here. We might not be able to fix it, but we understand.
The pastor took him under his wing and it has made a huge difference. My son and his girlfriend meet with him weekly for counseling and my son meets with him for a weekly bible study. My son is actually listening to him and doing bible homework. I can see that he is developing some good values and he is changing. It was God's 5 day binge plan.
In December of 2016 my son got a DUI and was in jail for a month. I read somewhere that connection was very important so I told him to call me every day. He has not missed a daily call in 14 months. Who knew he wanted to talk to me every day? It's so nice to be able to talk to him sober and not have to be the one who sends him out homeless, or to jail, or to a hospital. I just get to be a regular mom right now.
My brother is an alcoholic. His 35 year marriage just ended. My step daughter is surrounded by addiction. Her husband, son, brother, and father are all addicts. I talk to her a few times a week. She calls me to update me on her progress. I try to help her along, but let her go through her own process.
My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer last month. I had a really rough week trying to process that. They caught it early so I'm not real worried about that. My PTSD kicked in thinking about her body being mutilated with a mastectomy. I wanted to jump in and give her options, but recognized that I was trying to control the situation. She is doing fine on her own and is researching her options now.
I'm seeing that I can help without controlling and let everyone go through their own plan and process. It's wonderful to watch them process their lives in different ways. It's wonderful for me, that I don't feel responsible for everyone and I can give without losing myself in the process.
Life had been really, really hard, but it feels good when you can tell someone, you understand what they are going through. Sometimes that's all a person needs. I think that's why we are all here. We might not be able to fix it, but we understand.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Thank you for sharing this, MG. I am sorry to hear about your stepdaughter and your sister. Breast cancer runs in my maternal line...I get it. I will offer up a few prayers for them.
I am so happy to hear about your son and that you and he are talking like "normies"! Good news, right?! Yay!!
I am so happy to hear about your son and that you and he are talking like "normies"! Good news, right?! Yay!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
I'm thrilled that your son is doing well and you're in daily contact MG.
I'm sorry for your sisters diagnosis but I'm glad shes doing OK.
I'm glad you can be there for your step daughter too.
I hope you leave a little time for yourself too in all of this
D
I'm sorry for your sisters diagnosis but I'm glad shes doing OK.
I'm glad you can be there for your step daughter too.
I hope you leave a little time for yourself too in all of this
D
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
You are, and always have been, an inspiration to me, MG.
I am so glad that your son is doing well and has connected with a good counselor and that his life is taking him some place good in spite of the setbacks.
I will keep your sister in my prayers. Breast cancer research and treatment has come so far, even in the past 5 years. My own journey with this has helped me overcome my fears and trust treatment and God to get me through it.
Hugs
I am so glad that your son is doing well and has connected with a good counselor and that his life is taking him some place good in spite of the setbacks.
I will keep your sister in my prayers. Breast cancer research and treatment has come so far, even in the past 5 years. My own journey with this has helped me overcome my fears and trust treatment and God to get me through it.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Posts: 844
This is beautiful and inspirational. While I don't know the back story I can feel through your writing this wisdom has most likely come from a hard fought internal struggle to find balance and a sense of peace. Thank you for sharing.
Hug giver-outer!
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: The State of Possibilities
Posts: 533
Hugs going out to you, MG!
Oh, MG!!
I am so glad to hear that your son appears to be doing well and found a positive path. Some of those things come to us in very strange ways!
As for your sister, please have faith and hope. Ann said it earlier when she said there have been so many advances in the treatment and especially the support! Keep yourself strong and positive so you can be there for her. I, too, have always been inspired by you when I was here and still am!
Hugs, hugs, and more hugs,
Marteen
I am so glad to hear that your son appears to be doing well and found a positive path. Some of those things come to us in very strange ways!
As for your sister, please have faith and hope. Ann said it earlier when she said there have been so many advances in the treatment and especially the support! Keep yourself strong and positive so you can be there for her. I, too, have always been inspired by you when I was here and still am!
Hugs, hugs, and more hugs,
Marteen
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