chowchow

Sometimes at work I'll still have that thought that I can drink when I get home. But as soon as I really think about it or get home that horrible fear comes back. The last time I drank was so awful that I am terrified of ever drinking again. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing or neither but I hope the day does come when I really don't give it much thought at all.

I am 2 months now.

Gottalife

I don't think it is a bad thought, in fact if you can bring it to mind in the right moments it may help you to avoid the fatal first drink. The truth for me, though, was that at the critical moment the fear did not protect me .

Fear of alchol is a natural response in early sobriety, but I am not sure if any reliable long term solution can be based on fear. When I got to the two month mark I was beginning to make good progress on the steps. By three months and step 9, I realised the obsession had gone completely, and it never came back.

Using the program of AA, the day did arrive, quite quickly, where I didn't give it much thought at all. To me, constantly thinking about not drinking is really just another form of controlling our drinking. I could not sustain it.

In our tenth step promises it is stated the problem will be removed, it will no longer exist. Instead we will be placed in a position of neutrality (having to make no choice in regards to alcohol) safe and protected.

Quoting another longtimer with a great message, recovering = thinking about not drinking, recovered = not thinking about drinking.

It is definitely possible, but there is a price to pay.