I'm quitting drinking in half an hour
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
I'm quitting drinking in half an hour
Well, this is my first ever post.
I'm quitting drinking in half an hour. I have been planning this for over a week. I have cleaned out my stash of booze, I am two drinks from the end of my last bottle of vodka, and I have recently weaned myself down, slightly, to less than a bottle a day.
I have some 0.5mg Lorazepam pills to help stay calm and avoid seizures (although I have no idea what a withdrawal seizure is like), but I am going to try to wait until I am nearly ready to go to bed before taking it. I have only quit once before (for 4 months), and I know that I spin out a bit if I take that stuff while I still have alcohol in my system.
I also have some of the disulfiram stuff (I think it is also called Antabuse), and I will take one tomorrow, as I will have to drive past a couple of liquor stores, and I want to avoid accidentally stopping off (to get something, just in case I really need just a drop to make quitting easier, and all that nonsense).
I am making one decision that pretty much everyone familiar with addiction would consider a mistake: I have not told anyone close to me about this. No-one close to me knows that I am an alcoholic, and none of them can know. So none of them know what I am going to go through again. But I feel I need to tell someone. So I am here on this site. I am not sure what I hope to gain from sharing this. Maybe I want to be accountable to someone. Maybe I just need to know that I can talk about this with people who understand.
Well, I guess that's it.
I'm happy to hear any advice. I plan to focus on taking walks, doing breathing exercises, working on my computer when I can, but spending time playing games with my kids when my head is too blurry to focus on work (I work from home). I have even just taken up learning guitar, so I can take time to try to practice the eight notes I have so far, and playing Ode to Joy 300 times. I have a foot injury, so I can't run, but I can jump on the spin bike in our basement, and watch an episode or two of Star Trek as I sweat things out.
Anyway. Thanks to whoever administers this site, and to anyone who takes the time to read other posts.
Lost.
I'm quitting drinking in half an hour. I have been planning this for over a week. I have cleaned out my stash of booze, I am two drinks from the end of my last bottle of vodka, and I have recently weaned myself down, slightly, to less than a bottle a day.
I have some 0.5mg Lorazepam pills to help stay calm and avoid seizures (although I have no idea what a withdrawal seizure is like), but I am going to try to wait until I am nearly ready to go to bed before taking it. I have only quit once before (for 4 months), and I know that I spin out a bit if I take that stuff while I still have alcohol in my system.
I also have some of the disulfiram stuff (I think it is also called Antabuse), and I will take one tomorrow, as I will have to drive past a couple of liquor stores, and I want to avoid accidentally stopping off (to get something, just in case I really need just a drop to make quitting easier, and all that nonsense).
I am making one decision that pretty much everyone familiar with addiction would consider a mistake: I have not told anyone close to me about this. No-one close to me knows that I am an alcoholic, and none of them can know. So none of them know what I am going to go through again. But I feel I need to tell someone. So I am here on this site. I am not sure what I hope to gain from sharing this. Maybe I want to be accountable to someone. Maybe I just need to know that I can talk about this with people who understand.
Well, I guess that's it.
I'm happy to hear any advice. I plan to focus on taking walks, doing breathing exercises, working on my computer when I can, but spending time playing games with my kids when my head is too blurry to focus on work (I work from home). I have even just taken up learning guitar, so I can take time to try to practice the eight notes I have so far, and playing Ode to Joy 300 times. I have a foot injury, so I can't run, but I can jump on the spin bike in our basement, and watch an episode or two of Star Trek as I sweat things out.
Anyway. Thanks to whoever administers this site, and to anyone who takes the time to read other posts.
Lost.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Hey. Glad you're here and seeking sobriety.
Just to check though - presumably you have spoken to a doctor who prescribed you the meds? If not, I'd suggest at lease consulting a medical practitioner before taking any of that stuff. It sounds like you have kids depending on you, so please don't take risks.
You are likely to find that physical dependence is only one side of the deal, and this is why so many folk here are committed to working an ongoing program of recovery. Either one they devise themselves, or (like me) through an organisation or fellowship such as Smart, AA, or similar.
Anyway. I'm guessing that your half hour is pretty much finished now. . Please don't try to think about sobriety in terms of weeks and months and years for now. Just focus on the day or 24 hours ahead of you. If that's too much just think about the next hour or two. If you start thinking too far ahead it gets too scary and we are prone to a bit of melodrama! Just keep it simple, and be wary of HALT (Hunger, Anger, Lonely and Tired - these are all detrimental to the quality of our sobriety).
BB
Just to check though - presumably you have spoken to a doctor who prescribed you the meds? If not, I'd suggest at lease consulting a medical practitioner before taking any of that stuff. It sounds like you have kids depending on you, so please don't take risks.
You are likely to find that physical dependence is only one side of the deal, and this is why so many folk here are committed to working an ongoing program of recovery. Either one they devise themselves, or (like me) through an organisation or fellowship such as Smart, AA, or similar.
Anyway. I'm guessing that your half hour is pretty much finished now. . Please don't try to think about sobriety in terms of weeks and months and years for now. Just focus on the day or 24 hours ahead of you. If that's too much just think about the next hour or two. If you start thinking too far ahead it gets too scary and we are prone to a bit of melodrama! Just keep it simple, and be wary of HALT (Hunger, Anger, Lonely and Tired - these are all detrimental to the quality of our sobriety).
BB
Member
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 81
Good luck
Good luck to you, I am on day 3 and very new to this. I agree you should take medical advice, also you can call AA anonymously as I did today and it was so nice to talk to someone. I also haven’t told anyone close to me. The lovely guy I spoke to AA told me that I was not alone and to take one day at a time. I hope you get through this
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 782
Give it your best. Post here often. I have relapsed numerous times. I think had I come on here more often I could have avoided relapsing. I am on a new Day One. It will be my last. And I have posted today more than I have in two weeks.
And I would recommend AA. Truly good folks.
And I would recommend AA. Truly good folks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 11,431
Please be careful--withdrawal can be unpredicatable with each successive time you quit.
https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicati...22-1/25-34.pdf
Is there anyone at all you can have check on you?
Wishing you a speedy and safe detox--
https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicati...22-1/25-34.pdf
Is there anyone at all you can have check on you?
Wishing you a speedy and safe detox--
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
As others said..it's best to speak to a doc. My last quit/detox( I did it on my own because I'm cheap and stubborn) I had a few seizures and it felt like my teeth were "rolling" in my gums..like a ferris wheel spins around. That was VERY scary!! Cold sweats..vivid dreams,when actually asleep and kinda like half asleep,knowing my surroundings,but still in a dream state..if that makes sense? I guess this could be called hallucinating.. I also had my self prescribed 'detox' meds, BUT if I ever did it again it'd be medically supervised. It was a nightmare for the first 3-4 days!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I support all the medical caveats here - detoxed on my own many times no probs...my own last home alone detox went not so great....
but...I'm thrilled you're determined to be sober.
Great call. Welcome aboard
D
but...I'm thrilled you're determined to be sober.
Great call. Welcome aboard
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
Sigh. All good so far, but my sigh was because I wrote about three paragraphs, then hit the wrong button and deleted it all. Bollocks. OK, anyway:
Sincere thanks to everyone who commented. Every comment was useful in different ways. I will definitely make contact tomorrow morning with the Doc who helped me through my last (and only) successful break from alcohol. The meds I have are those she prescribed last time. She is always easy to get on short notice (primarily because she is expensive and knows that my insurance covers visits to her).
Tomorrow morning is going to be very weird. I know what tonight is going to be like, but it is the four hours I usually spend alone downstairs before anyone else gets up that is going to be strange. Usually, I watch and read various news sources from 4-5am with a cup of tea, and then pour myself a vodka. I will clearly need a different plan. I might pull up a beginner's yoga video on Youtube and do that after my tea, or something.
Anyway, need to get the kids to bed. Going to enjoy a lovely chilled glass of sparkling water, maybe with a splash of lemon juice, and then shepherd them up. I foresee a mindless tv comedy in my future after they are in bed. Nothing more intellectually challenging than "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" or "Sister Act".
Sincere thanks to everyone who commented. Every comment was useful in different ways. I will definitely make contact tomorrow morning with the Doc who helped me through my last (and only) successful break from alcohol. The meds I have are those she prescribed last time. She is always easy to get on short notice (primarily because she is expensive and knows that my insurance covers visits to her).
Tomorrow morning is going to be very weird. I know what tonight is going to be like, but it is the four hours I usually spend alone downstairs before anyone else gets up that is going to be strange. Usually, I watch and read various news sources from 4-5am with a cup of tea, and then pour myself a vodka. I will clearly need a different plan. I might pull up a beginner's yoga video on Youtube and do that after my tea, or something.
Anyway, need to get the kids to bed. Going to enjoy a lovely chilled glass of sparkling water, maybe with a splash of lemon juice, and then shepherd them up. I foresee a mindless tv comedy in my future after they are in bed. Nothing more intellectually challenging than "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" or "Sister Act".
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by DontRemember 
Read and post on here instead of that morning vodka. It's really helped me get to over a year without chaos caused by me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
Yes, read and post here. Rambling or not.
And maybe choose some of the Newcomer speaker recordings to listen to from here... https://www.recoveryaudio.org/aa-newcomers
And maybe choose some of the Newcomer speaker recordings to listen to from here... https://www.recoveryaudio.org/aa-newcomers
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Scotland
Posts: 3,837
Hey. You need to wait more than a day before taking Antabuse or you could have a very bad reaction it it. It takes 72 hours for alcohol to clear your system. Please, please check. I dont want you to get ill.
This best of luck on your journey x
This best of luck on your journey x
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