francescakali

hello. my name is Francesca and I have been sober for 3 1/2 months I am now working on my 4th step and I am struggling with it. it is very emotional and I can't believe the more I work on it them more I am finding what a bad person I was. I feel like I will never complete this step.

Anna

Welcome, Francesca!

Congratulations on 3 1/2 months of sobriety.

I do not believe you are a bad person, but that you have an addiction and you are healing.

The amazing Maya Angelou said, "I did then, what I knew how to do. Now I know better, I do better". It's important to forgive yourself for what you didn't know, until you learned it. Be kind to yourself.

2muchpain

I don't think the 4th step is an attack on someone's character. It's a realization of what choices we made while drinking. I did many things while drinking that I would never have done if I was sober. IMHO, the 4th step is about owning up to our mistakes, and re connecting to who we really are. Good people make bad decisions all the time. To me, using my past to make me a better person and to treat people the way they should be treated is the foundation of sobriety. Your worth as a person is much more than the mistakes and bad choices you made. It's what you learn from them and what you do after that makes the difference. John

Dee74

Welcoem Francesca -theres a member here with a signature quote that goes something like 'you are so much move than the worst thing you will ever do'

I'm not in AA but I had to make amends where possible and then fiorgive myself and move on,

Today is a blank page filled with promise - don;t miss it because you're still looking back into yesterday

D