Novaqayn

I wrote earlier of my issues with my boyfriend's alcoholism and then I realized I should write about my issues. So here goes.

I started drinking at age 16. I drank almost daily for the next 10 years (besides when i was pregnant, except once with my second child i got drink). I would be drinking and run out of beer. I would him up a cup with what beer i had and drive to the store to get more... With my kids in the car, then ages 1 and 2 (they are a year and a half apart) and i was 21. One of my friends told me how i could lose my children by doing so and i realized what was more important, my children. I then only drank when someone was able to babysit. I slowed down quite a bit, but still drank at every chance. I got divorced and it got worse. When the children were gone to their dads, i would be at a bar nearly every night. I would be careless and try to go home with just about anybody. When my boys were around 8 and 9 I had almost completely stopped drinking. By the time they were 12 and 13 i was sober. There has been a few times I had episodes where i drank heavily. Once was summer time and my boys saw me drunk for the first time (that they remembered). I drank steady for almost 3 months. Then i just stopped again. I met my current boyfriend a little over a year ago and he's an alcoholic. About 7 months ago i was drinking daily. Only a couple beers or bottles of Smirnoff mixed drinks, but i was drinking. That lasted about a month. About 2 months ago we had friends over and I drank a half a fifth of Jager straight out of the bottle. I didn't get drunk, or even a little buzzed, but i had the hangover from hell. I haven't had a drink since. I don't want one but I'm sure i will have one eventually. I don't have very good willpower and I'll give in.

Dee74

For me its not about willpower because part of my will wanted to drink.

I got better results accepting that alcohol turns me into someone I don't want to be and robs me of all the things I hold precious in my life.

why would I want to do something I know destroys my life and hurts those I love the most?

Like you I figured Id drink again eventually because thats what I did.

I was an all day everyday drinker by the end, I told myself there was no coming back from that.

But with the support here, I didn't drink again - and I rediscovered a me Id forgotten existed and a life I absolutely love

I have over 10 years sober now - very soon to be 11

Recovery is not about never having the urge to drink again - it's about having strategies and support in place so you can make different healthier choices - you honestly don't have to drink again if you don't want to

D.

Novaqayn

Wow, 10 years. That's great. I guess it's not too late to start... Or shall I stay stop... I've been dealing with this since I was 16 and I'm 42 now. I'm ready to be completely sober. I don't know what I could have done with my life if I never started. I've never really thought about it

Berrybean

I started drinking in early teens and stopped 4 years ago aged 41. That was when I became desperate enough to find the willingness to turn my life around, although there was stuff before that which should have made me just has desperate, but it kind of just didn't sink in the same way.

It was the best decision I ever made.

Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery.
BB

Anna

I hope you make the decision to stop drinking for good. We're here for you to help you with this journey.

Novaqayn

I think I've decided. Now the challenge is to do it. Thank you