Ekohe

I'm back, but I have been for a while. I made a new account, Tubesy, because I was ashamed of coming back so often. That is no longer the case. I am proud that I am able to admit it, and come clean. Regardless, I have been sober since December 8th. I made it through my first birthday sober since 17 on Friday, and for me, that was huge. What's more, I cherished it, it was more special than my usual blackout at a bar.

I have some issues still, feeling down some days, but I am at least feeling again. Love, pain, regret, happiness, gratitude (the most valuable). I am learning to live again, and it's a good feeling.

No more hiding or feeling ashamed, I am proud of myself.

Dee74

Glad to work out why you seemed familiar
Congrats Ekohe

D

anxiousrock

Keep coming back!! We are always here for you. No shame.

Buckley3

I did the same thing on another board a long time ago. Used a different alias b/c I was ashamed. It didn't work.

'Grats on the days clean.

least

Welcome back!

Hevyn

Ekohe - you're among friends who truly understand. No reason for shame. Congratulations - happy to have you back.

Pete6256

Congrats mate, making it through Christmas and your birthday is massive. I hope to get to your level one day.

Ekohe

I knew somebody would suspect something D! Thanks for always being there.

And to everyone else, thanks for the kind replies. Last time I was doing it for friends and family, I think I've been able to do it alone this time is because it's for me. I want to live the rest of my life sober. That said, I am not stupid enough to become overconfident again and will not repeat the mistake of leaving here, and not posting.

I realize I'm still in early recovery, so the feelings haven't completely balanced, but I am doing much better than I was in the first few weeks.

No more Houdini's.

Rar

I almost made a new account too. I joined in 2014 and was embarrassed (more than once) to come back. In retrospect I'm glad I kept my original account.