Needanewstart

I'm new to this, but I'm just not sure where to turn and I'm open to anything at this point. My drinking cost me the best and healthiest relationship I have last night. There's no excuse for it. I simply cannot control my drinking, no matter how many internal checks and balances I put on myself. I always tell myself I can control it, but it's clear now that I cannot. It's cost me the love of my life, and I am just so scared that I will not be able to mend that relationship. I know if I don't fix this I will regret ruining this chance at an amazing life. That will always weight heavily on me.

Silverback4

Your in the right place. Lots of help and support available here.
Sounds like you have something worth fighting for and the best fight is a sober one.

Jess1998

This place is a really nice place. Everyone is supportive and encouraging. You can beat this

Mizzuno

I hear you. I know what you are saying and I have been there many many times.

Stick around the forum and see if something clicks with you. Just know you are not alone and every single one of us has felt what you are feeling to one degree or another.

You can recover from this.

thomas11

Alcoholics typically face some consequences as a result of their drinking. I think you are seeing that in your current situation. I will say this, if you quit drinking for any other reason than for yourself, you are at risk of failing sometime down the road. For example, quitting drinking for your significant other is a noble goal, but eventually most of us would relapse or slip up. You have quit for yourself. Wish you the best.

Anna

I think a lot of us here have tried endlessly to manage our drinking, and of course, things usually get worse.

I don't know if you will be able to mend the relationship. Sometimes we can fix the messes we made, and sometimes not. But, as long as you stop drinking and focus on recovery, things will improve in your life.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to SR, Needanewstart.

Sobriety and recovery have changed my life for the better - exponentially so.

Give it all you have and allow the amazing goodness to begin.

Stay close; we care.

Vinificent

Welcome to SR! Keep reading and posting...when I first realized that I had a drinking problem I had no clue what to do or how to handle it; just knew I needed help. I kept reading and recognized a little bit of myself in almost every post. Somewhere on this site is your personalized reovery plan, that you will find by discovering what has helped others. Best to you on your journey

Danielle423

Drinking always catches up to us one way or another. The first thing is to stop drinking (I know that sounds like a given, but sometimes we get into such a rut and get so overwhelmed that we try to skip that first major and essential step). The second thing is to make a plan and find/create a support system you can turn to and rely on.

As Thomas said, you have to get sober for YOU, not for anyone else. This has to come from within yourself and the drive needs to be for you because in the end you can only control yourself and not what anyone else thinks or decides to do. Most of us have tried getting sober for others and in the end wanting to get sober for someone else is not enough. You need to do this for YOU. No matter what happens, getting sober will change your life for the better- be patient though, nothing happens overnight.

I am sorry things have gotten to this point for you, but I am so glad that you have finally decided to reach out and to start your journey into recovery.

Hevyn

It's so good to have you with us - you're never alone.

I tried for decades to use willpower to control my drinking. It never worked once. The only way to protect myself was to stop all together. Dangerous things happened each time it was in my system. It feels great to be free.

Pete6256

That realization that you need to make changes is an important first step. Sorry to hear that it cost you your relationship, but at least it now gives you the opportunity to just focus on yourself and getting your recovery underway.

Dee74

hi Needanewstart

I don't believe it's ever too late to turn your life around - I did with the help of SR - but do it for you, not someone else.

Become the best person you can be and then see where that takes you

Welcome to SR!
D

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Needanewstart!!

icewater1961

I lost three important relationships including the love of my life, we were together 15 years but nobody can live with a practicing alcoholic. You are not alone, and you will find a way out of the misery.

Hawkeye13

My marriage almost went down the drain due to my drinking.
Best thing you can do no matter what is get sober for you,
and then give time and healing space to your SO.

It really hurts--sending you a hug