Good news.
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: uk
Posts: 3,054
Good news.
It's well in to the third week of no booze now. It's getting stronger as we go further and even the small suggestions from hubby that we have a drink have all but disappeared (I know, maybe that'll change!).
My husband has never called himself an alcoholic, I've never called him an alcoholic, he knows I think he's addicted, he freely admits he's been addicted and I think he hoped it would go away if he could learn to control it. Giving up the drinking, I think, was him becoming resigned to that not being the case. In fairness he gave up sooner rather than later this time and with more committment, the only thing he has asked in return is that we don't discuss him and alcohol anymore. He does still talk about it soemtimes, but I don't start the conversation or push it.
I was happy to talk about us trying to quit smoking though (something which he does better than me!) I talked about it as an addiction, he agreed completely about important things like not having the occasional one (no matter how special the occasion), I think we both knew it wasn't just the ciggies we were talking about! He also said that because we tried and failed to stop on our own before that we should see a doctor for help this time, get well organised to try. This is a huge attitude shift from him - before it's always just been black and white - 'you can do it if you want to enough'.
While he stays stopped I don't give a damn if he'd rather say he's been a drunk than he is an alcoholic. His own descriptions of what it felt like are enough to tell me he knows he was addicted - he just had to find out for himself if he could control it now. He would be safer if he accepted openly that the addiction won't go away - but Lord knows I can't make that happen and I'm sure as hell not going to fight over it while he's as dry as a bone.
All that said his mind set is changing - piece by piece, I think he's accepting stuff.
My husband has never called himself an alcoholic, I've never called him an alcoholic, he knows I think he's addicted, he freely admits he's been addicted and I think he hoped it would go away if he could learn to control it. Giving up the drinking, I think, was him becoming resigned to that not being the case. In fairness he gave up sooner rather than later this time and with more committment, the only thing he has asked in return is that we don't discuss him and alcohol anymore. He does still talk about it soemtimes, but I don't start the conversation or push it.
I was happy to talk about us trying to quit smoking though (something which he does better than me!) I talked about it as an addiction, he agreed completely about important things like not having the occasional one (no matter how special the occasion), I think we both knew it wasn't just the ciggies we were talking about! He also said that because we tried and failed to stop on our own before that we should see a doctor for help this time, get well organised to try. This is a huge attitude shift from him - before it's always just been black and white - 'you can do it if you want to enough'.
While he stays stopped I don't give a damn if he'd rather say he's been a drunk than he is an alcoholic. His own descriptions of what it felt like are enough to tell me he knows he was addicted - he just had to find out for himself if he could control it now. He would be safer if he accepted openly that the addiction won't go away - but Lord knows I can't make that happen and I'm sure as hell not going to fight over it while he's as dry as a bone.
All that said his mind set is changing - piece by piece, I think he's accepting stuff.
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