Waiting for the other shoe to drop
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 201
Waiting for the other shoe to drop
I am 26 days sober today from alcohol and so grateful and happy for that. Since I stopped drinking, I have gotten happier and happier while my anxiety and depression has lifted more and more.
I know all about pink clouding, but this feels different somehow. I can hear my AV at times saying things like "remember how scotch tastes?" or "Can you really go a whole lifetime without a drink?" but the AV is weak and I can easily tell it to be quiet and ignore it. I would not say things have been easy for me, but I don't have the drive inside me to drink again the way I have before when trying to quit. That is a good thing, right?
Well, it does feel good, but at the same time, it scares me. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and for that craving to return. Maybe it's because I am going to meetings, maybe it's because I am more honest this time, but taking a drink holds no appeal to me at all. I keep hearing from people that when you feel good can be a dangerous time in sobriety, so I am staying vigilant about being honest with myself and keeping my resentments in check. Is it really a bad sign to feel confident in early sobriety or can it be a sign that something has actually changed in my thinking and that I might really be able to have long term sobriety this time?
I know all about pink clouding, but this feels different somehow. I can hear my AV at times saying things like "remember how scotch tastes?" or "Can you really go a whole lifetime without a drink?" but the AV is weak and I can easily tell it to be quiet and ignore it. I would not say things have been easy for me, but I don't have the drive inside me to drink again the way I have before when trying to quit. That is a good thing, right?
Well, it does feel good, but at the same time, it scares me. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop and for that craving to return. Maybe it's because I am going to meetings, maybe it's because I am more honest this time, but taking a drink holds no appeal to me at all. I keep hearing from people that when you feel good can be a dangerous time in sobriety, so I am staying vigilant about being honest with myself and keeping my resentments in check. Is it really a bad sign to feel confident in early sobriety or can it be a sign that something has actually changed in my thinking and that I might really be able to have long term sobriety this time?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 25,373
I think a lot of alcoholic/problem drinkers get to a certain point and allow those thoughts to take over.
As long as you are aware that feeling good means that some people decide to give drinking another try, and as long as you recognize that you won't drink no matter what you are feeling - then you're good!
I read it and hear it all the time, "I thought I was better/healed/over it/over-reacting," whatever the excuse people give themselves.
"I don't drink. No matter what."
As long as you are aware that feeling good means that some people decide to give drinking another try, and as long as you recognize that you won't drink no matter what you are feeling - then you're good!
I read it and hear it all the time, "I thought I was better/healed/over it/over-reacting," whatever the excuse people give themselves.
"I don't drink. No matter what."
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
A lot of people seem to think if thy can still hear the AV that they're failing in some way.
I think it's not the thoughts we have, it's our response to them that makes a recovery
I heard the AV for a long time after I quit - but what killed it dead was continually making good decisions and right choices (staying sober)
without me to buy the booze and drink the booze the AV is totally impotent...and it dies out, eventually.
D
I think it's not the thoughts we have, it's our response to them that makes a recovery
I heard the AV for a long time after I quit - but what killed it dead was continually making good decisions and right choices (staying sober)
without me to buy the booze and drink the booze the AV is totally impotent...and it dies out, eventually.
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 7,067
I can almost guarantee that there will at some point be cravings and triggers.
I am almost five years in recovery, and I still occasionally get triggered.
So let’s flip the a script a bit.
Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, decide right now how you are going to respond when it does.
For me, once drinking was off the table, I decided that it would never, under any circumstances, be back on.
Hang in there.
I am almost five years in recovery, and I still occasionally get triggered.
So let’s flip the a script a bit.
Instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, decide right now how you are going to respond when it does.
For me, once drinking was off the table, I decided that it would never, under any circumstances, be back on.
Hang in there.
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