I'm thinking I want my cake and eat it
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: manchester
Posts: 128
I'm thinking I want my cake and eat it
Happy new year everyone!
I've learned so much here and doing my own research, also through Al anon.
I don't want to be around alcoholics anymore but still I take it personally sometimes.
I have three friends all of whom I like very much but one of them in particular has an alcohol problem.
Yesterday they went to a funeral and they came back together ( all drunk)
They had a meal after and there was alot of drama there (again caused by alcohol)
I was peaved because I wasn't invited and I felt ostrisised .
I know that I wouldn't have liked it anyway but it would have been nice to have felt included.
Maybe they don't like me anymore.
I know that being around people who drink isn't good for me but they are still good people.
I'm hoping I'm going through a transition and this is part of it but I felt bad because they were a tight little group .
We used to hang out alot. Am I over reacting? X
I've learned so much here and doing my own research, also through Al anon.
I don't want to be around alcoholics anymore but still I take it personally sometimes.
I have three friends all of whom I like very much but one of them in particular has an alcohol problem.
Yesterday they went to a funeral and they came back together ( all drunk)
They had a meal after and there was alot of drama there (again caused by alcohol)
I was peaved because I wasn't invited and I felt ostrisised .
I know that I wouldn't have liked it anyway but it would have been nice to have felt included.
Maybe they don't like me anymore.
I know that being around people who drink isn't good for me but they are still good people.
I'm hoping I'm going through a transition and this is part of it but I felt bad because they were a tight little group .
We used to hang out alot. Am I over reacting? X
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Hi Spooky, I don't think you're over-reacting but it's just a reality that people who are planning to drink may not feel comfortable around a non-drinker. It's probably for the best they didn't ask you.
If you want to keep up your friendships you may have to work a bit harder at planning for events where alcohol isn't the main attraction, like coffee or breakfast . It might help you to join groups where there is an activity like hiking, some type of club; I'm sure you can think of some.
When I stopped drinking my social activities like drinks after work definitely reduced, but it was worth it.
If you want to keep up your friendships you may have to work a bit harder at planning for events where alcohol isn't the main attraction, like coffee or breakfast . It might help you to join groups where there is an activity like hiking, some type of club; I'm sure you can think of some.
When I stopped drinking my social activities like drinks after work definitely reduced, but it was worth it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: manchester
Posts: 128
No but neither did two of the three people I'm talking about.
The other two were there as support for the one who drinks the most.
It was her sisters partners funeral if that makes sense x
The other two were there as support for the one who drinks the most.
It was her sisters partners funeral if that makes sense x
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
also, it is totally ok to re-evaluate the menaing of "friendship" and who you allow into your inner circle. it's ok to make changes, increase distance, detach to assure your own sense of serenity and mental peace!!!!
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