Sometimes it's not the weight of the load...
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Sometimes it's not the weight of the load...
But the realization that it's like carrying a thin paper plate that's loaded with 3 small blueberry yogurt cups, a styrofoam bowl full of cereal and spoons... plus styrofoam cups of milk, hot cocoa and coffee with loosely fitting lids... and being able to carry them from the hotel breakfast room to my room, but needing to set them down before opening the door and moving on...
That's just like recovery. There's only so much to be carried at one time, even when it's a light load that looks, seems and feels so much easier than what we may have picked up yesterday, last week or last year. Maybe it's not even so much a difficulty in carrying it as recognizing when it's time to set down the load so we can open a new door...
That's just like recovery. There's only so much to be carried at one time, even when it's a light load that looks, seems and feels so much easier than what we may have picked up yesterday, last week or last year. Maybe it's not even so much a difficulty in carrying it as recognizing when it's time to set down the load so we can open a new door...
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Join Date: Dec 2004
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Soulful, I've been there, too. Hang in there. You're doing a lot of good things for yourself including posting often, looking at hard realities and seeing that you want something different... these are huge actions!
Just for today... because we get to take this one day at a time...
Whatever you do or don't do, whatever you say or don't say... whatever feelings come... are OKAY.
(((Hugs)))
Just for today... because we get to take this one day at a time...
Whatever you do or don't do, whatever you say or don't say... whatever feelings come... are OKAY.
(((Hugs)))
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Sometimes it's not the weight of the load...
It's simply time to play instead of carrying anything at all!
I've been doing a lot this week. Recognizing this, acknowledging it and ALLOWING myself to be human and put down the full load of everything in order to ENJOY this moment, this life.
Recognizing I've already survived a lot of very crappy things in my life. In this moment, I want none of that at the focus of my attention in any way. Setting it all off to the side, neatly packaged and cared for, to pick up again after I've played, after I've rested. It becomes a heavy load when I never put it down.
It's simply time to play instead of carrying anything at all!
I've been doing a lot this week. Recognizing this, acknowledging it and ALLOWING myself to be human and put down the full load of everything in order to ENJOY this moment, this life.
Recognizing I've already survived a lot of very crappy things in my life. In this moment, I want none of that at the focus of my attention in any way. Setting it all off to the side, neatly packaged and cared for, to pick up again after I've played, after I've rested. It becomes a heavy load when I never put it down.
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,281
Bump.
I'm wanting to deal with issues, problems and unsolvable mysteries of psychological abuse tonight.
Shelving them all. Boxing them up, mentally, and putting the heavy load outside in the cold for the night. They don't belong in here with me, right now.
I'm wanting to deal with issues, problems and unsolvable mysteries of psychological abuse tonight.
Shelving them all. Boxing them up, mentally, and putting the heavy load outside in the cold for the night. They don't belong in here with me, right now.
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Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 123
Originally Posted by keepingthefaith 
But the realization that it's like carrying a thin paper plate that's loaded with 3 small blueberry yogurt cups, a styrofoam bowl full of cereal and spoons... plus styrofoam cups of milk, hot cocoa and coffee with loosely fitting lids... and being able to carry them from the hotel breakfast room to my room, but needing to set them down before opening the door and moving on...
That's just like recovery. There's only so much to be carried at one time, even when it's a light load that looks, seems and feels so much easier than what we may have picked up yesterday, last week or last year. Maybe it's not even so much a difficulty in carrying it as recognizing when it's time to set down the load so we can open a new door...
That's just like recovery. There's only so much to be carried at one time, even when it's a light load that looks, seems and feels so much easier than what we may have picked up yesterday, last week or last year. Maybe it's not even so much a difficulty in carrying it as recognizing when it's time to set down the load so we can open a new door...
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