tealily

It's almost Thanksgiving, and on that day I will reach 6 months alcohol free.

I'm preparing to host, buying food, drinks, supplies... getting the household ready for guests. Today I did major shopping.. including several bottles of wine. Not for me, but for others.

I've been avoiding buying wine, but it was just easier and more practical for me to buy this for the guests we will have. But now I"m wondering if this is a slippery slope. Am I getting to cocky? That I"m safe doing this?

I didn't buy "my kind" of wine (of old) but still.. there was something about the weight of the bottle as I picked it up by the neck that fired some neurons or something that made me pretty darn uncomfortable.

Maybe there's never a "Safe" time of being sober to get near this stuff?

It's so twisted.. I would never buy drugs or even cigarettes for others.. and yet somehow it seems "normal" to pick up beer or wine for friends and family.

I don't even like seeing or smelling others drinking.. maybe I should totally call it quits and let them buy their own poison?

FreeOwl

in the first couple of years.... I stayed away from this. These days, I'll occasionally buy a six pack or a bottle of wine to have on offer for guests if I'm hosting a dinner or something. I've reached a point in my sobriety that I feel fine doing that and have no desire to drink. But, even still it's a very limited and relatively rare thing.....

JJ991

I've bought wine from my husband from time to time but I try not to. We usually have wine in the house though (his!) so I'm used it. The night he asked me to pour him a glass was when it almost ended up poured over him!!

Maybe best to just ask guests to bring a bottle next time?

Canuckleman45

I have been stopping on my way home from work for my wife the last month. That’s what has caused my 2 relapses. Got some for her and my AV voice talked me into a few beers and well went downhill from there.

ScottFromWI

This is one of those things that I "Can" do but I choose not to do. Kind of like going to a bar but ordering just a soda.

As far as the slippery slope question, you'll likely need to answer that for yourself. It's not insignificant that you came here to ask though, right? If you didn't have any reservations about it all you probably would have just done it and not thought twice about it.

thomas11

I'm weird in this way. I haven't had to buy booze for anyone but I don't think I'd mind doing it. On the other hand, I will not buy cigarettes for anyone.

tomsteve

took the words out of my mouth here.
ive been sober for a while now and being around alcohol hasnt bothered me in some time.
however, just sitting here and thinking if I was hosting a party and I was the one purchasing the alcohol, im not liking the feeling.
but then again, any time theres been a get together at my house, if anyone wants alcohol, its BYOB.

Anna

We don't serve alcohol in our home. It's just easier that way.

If it makes you uncomfortable, then maybe someone else should buy the alcohol?

PeacefulWater12

I have bought wine as gifts for friends.

I am not bothered by seeing bottles of alcohol as my husband still drinks. There is a glass of whisky within arm's reach of me at present. This is usual in my home.

I think it was difficult in my early quit but not now.

DontRemember

I host parties at my house and don't drink. It felt VERY weird the first time, but now I have booze here incase I have guest..It's expensive crap that I would never 'waste' on myself,so I'm not worried. It is an odd feeling and my 4th of july party was my wake up, that other's CAN drink..I can't. Sorry... I didn't drink.. it was just weird buying booze for my party.

tealily

Thank you all for the feedback.

I would love if our whole house were alcohol free like that, Anna. But I'm still in this gray area .. where my husband drinks wine and beer, and so does my father, who I shop and cook for. So we don't have an alcohol free house. And I generally buy the food and drink and prepare it for the family. My husband is willing to buy his own alcohol; I had been "making" him do it over the past months, and he was willing.. and even storing it in his car, out of sight, but things have been reverting lately to older patterns. I'm "helping" him now by picking beer or wine up with our other groceries.

Scott From Wi, I think you are on to something, in saying I wouldn't have come here to ask if it hadn't made me uneasy.

I think I'd better back off again. I keep thinking I'm secure now and won't be tempted, but it is getting a little too close for comfort.

Thanks.

joandmelandhan

Tealily I personally wouldn't.....I'd give my guests the option to bring alcohol if they want it. Actually I personally wouldn't have that kind of an evening at my home but that's more to do with my lack of social life to be honest! Having said that you've bought it so what I recommend is either:
1) Let your guests take home any booze left over, or
2) Tip any left over away as soon as they have gone, or
3) Get rid of it now
I don't think you've got complacent but maybe by trying to throw the best party you can you've neglected your own safety a little?
Have a little think it's not too late to change the plan.
Great to see you again by the way xxx

tealily

Thanks, JMH! Same! xoxo

The people I'm buying for are my husband and father.. not really "guests".. so I definitely can turn it over to my husband to do. It's just my habit to do things, buy things, for them, but my husband understands and does not expect me to.

I think I was thinking I was "safe" now.. but obviously I"m not, if the feelings raised alarmed me this way. Amazing how just handling the bottles .. the familiar weight, the feel of the thick glass .. and putting them in my car brought back so many (unhealthy) memories.

Ugh.

joandmelandhan

Yeah I bet! Maybe just have a little regroup and chat it through with your husband who sounds like he will be supportive. Best to recognise the danger now and act before the holiday season gets going tealily.
Might be worth sticking round here a little more too if it helps sweetheart xxx

Gonnachange

I hope this post is helpful, but really all I'm doing is giving one person's perspective. I know I'm an outlier when it comes to the SR community's behavior and I'm not advocating what I do is right, because right is whatever works for a given individual. I buy booze, have a fully stocked wet bar in my house, about once a month go to a bar to listen to a band, and don't shy away from social events where alcohol will be available. I choose to stick with my club soda and it's not an issue FOR ME.

To continue my non definitive answer, do what you feel comfortable doing. You know the goal and whatever you believe is the best approach to achieve that is the way to go.

least

I'd say, let the guests bring the booze if they want it.