Strugglingtoget

After many years of sobriety, have struggled for another 10+. The pattern is familiar: I stay sober for 3-7 days, feel great, feel energized and virile. Then, go to a party or to a bar to be "social" and, of course, will "just have a few." Even if I succeed that night, within a few days, I am back to blackout, pass out and worse, with awful hangovers, etc. I really believe part of me keeps fighting the idea that I --the great I--could be "an alcoholic." I have great job and career success, big education, a wife, a great home, etc. So, I am partially stuck in that "an alcoholic is a bum, a failure, etc." I am not that.! I think I am ashamed to admit I have this issue; ashamed to admit my destructive drinking and stupid enough to believe after all these years that anything could possibly change. We all know insanity is doing the same thing and thinking the results will differ. rationally, I have been around enough that I know that there are very many successful accomplished people with alcohol disorders and I know the real likely results. Why do i fight this? In almost all else I have a very good brain and excellent impulse control.

doggonecarl

If you are determined to drink, you will believe anything.

DreamCatcher17

No need for labels if that is what is holding you back from living a sober life.
Maybe consider yourself allergic to alcohol, when you drink these crazy side effects happen, and you no longer want to deal with the side effects of alcohol, so you chose to live sober!

Whatever it takes for you to not drink, do that!

Welcome back, please stick around and see what sobriety has to offer. The promises are true

Peace

rascalwhiteoak

My very good brain is also an addict's brain; therefore, subject to impulse issues. As DreamCatcher said, maybe not worry about labels for now?

DAB

Nothing else matters but your desire to quit drinking.
Coming here to share your struggle is a great first step!
I highly recommend trying a few AA meetings. Find one you like, you will be surprised how many successful people you will meet that you identify with.
They will help you stay sober and you will help them stay sober.

Dee74

Hi and welcome strugglingtoget

I think the bottom line for me was I didn't want to have to change my life. I didn't want to have to stop drinking - so I readily believed the lie that the next time would be different - but it never was.

After many years I finally accepted if I didn't stop drinking I'd die, so I stopped.

I expected that life without booze would be boring and dull, I'd hate everything and I'd have no friends and never go anywhere.

None of that has actually happened

Instead I have a life I love, I rediscovered a sober me I'd forgotten about who I also love, and I have a better social life than I ever did as a drinker.

Of course it wasn't easy especially in the beginning but there's tons of support here and elsewhere to help you get through the transitional phase

I hope you decide to give it a go

D

Strugglingtoget

Thanks for the suggestions.

FreeOwl

Because you're an alcoholic.



I lived that same summary for a very long time.

I embraced sobriety fully, finally, and my life is infinitely better.

Yours can be, too.

Accept, Choose, Act.

Berrybean

THIS.

I have stopped listening to my first thoughts as far as possible. They tend to be linked to my impulses - which are always seeking out instant gratification and have no concern at all for my long term happiness, safety, security or relationships. Nowadays I try the 'don't just do something, stand there' approach and wait for my second thoughts which gives my conscience / integrity a chance to have a say in things.

Maybe next time round you could try staying away from drinking environments for the first few months. That would probably make things a little easier.

BB