Polaroid

I would recommend doing that. *For your own private eyes, of course*. Most easily done with your smartphone, if you have one.

Why? It helps you remember the hell you were in.

One can so easily forget why you do not drink (or use).

But like.... I just came across a couple videos today, where I had filmed myself, was shaking like crazy, my anxiety through the roof... (and I had ranted a few words to myself with a shaky voice).

The videos were at max 40 seconds long. Still, the point is that they gave me a serious reminder of why I shouldn't go back there. Even with the cravings being crazy sometimes...

Maybe it is just my own personal problem, but when i am sober, it is so easy to forget why i shouldn't go back into that.. hellish cycle.

It is a lot easier when you can actually see the hell for yourself.

(I hope this doesn't count as medical advice.)

FreeOwl

Seems like a good idea.

I've never really gone through intense physical withdrawals, but a year or so ago, I intervened with a friend who was in the throes of DT's, a week or so worth of horrible withdrawal after yet another long binge.

He smelled of death. Like he was rotting from the inside. He shook so violently he couldn't command his hands to perform simple tasks. His fingers and toes ended in gnarled, yellowed nails like the claws of some grotesque creature. His skin was yellow, too. His eyes sunken and black, with yellow orbs where the bright white should be.... on a human being.

He vomited horribly - but nothing came out beyond the godawful retching sounds that shook him uncontrollably and gave him pains to the bottom of his soul. It was clear.

This scene, these sounds and smells, I'll never forget.

This is where it leads...... this is where it leads.

ScottFromWI

I don't think that's a personal problem at all, in fact it's a very common one. Just about every time someone returns to drinking, part of the reason is that they "forgot about the consequences" or "thought they'd be fine just having a couple"

Remembering the withdrawals and other bad things that happened can certainly remind us why we quit, but usually consequences themselves are not enough to keep us sober in the long run. Most of us need to do more through some type of recovery plan or lifestyle change, or both.

PinnacleOR

After several relapses where in hindsight I wish I had recorded a message to myself, I finally did it last week, from my hospital bed. I am SO glad I did. I told myself never again. I looked and sounded like hell. I also took several pictures of my battered and bruised body in the mirror. My face, torso and legs were covered in bruises and I was fat and bloated. When I get home I may print them out and put them on my bathroom mirror. Anything as a reminder of how far I can sink. Great idea.

MindfulMan

Make two scenes. The first as described during withdrawal, the second the drinking that led up to and continued during the binge, all of the negative consequences that happened during the binge, and the overall negative consequences at that time in your life.

I use the "play the tape" method when I have a craving, which involves mentally going through what one drink leads to and what the consequences are.

In the above, you can LITERALLY "play the tape."

I like it.

hpdw

I have taken pictures of myself in withdrawals and i,m not a pretty sight .
I posted somewhere last week about while when getting a haircut I noticed how much better my face looks 3 months into recovery . Not red/purple/swollen ,no blooodshot tired heavy eyes . Not sweating or shaking .
FreeOwl your post is graphic but what I need to read now and then .
That's where it leads , that's where it leads .

Thanks

Downthepath

A good idea. We didn't all carry HD cameras around with us previously, did we?! It is a modern day solution. My big fear would be the film being seen by the wrong people, but I'm sure there are ways around that. I don't ever plan to be in a position to film myself in that condition again, so it won't help me - but I can see the value in it.

Jules714

Brilliance!
This thread alone is a solid reminder of that absolute Hell. I was all too familiar with waking and wretching, sometimes bringing up bile. The anxiety. Shaking. Pure misery. I prayed so desperately to get well. After many tries and finally refusing to give in, I am so much better. Been 3 weeks since I've had a pang of anxiety! What a relief!
GL everyone...it's so much more lovely to live sober than it is to barely exist drunk.
Jules

Polaroid

Surprised to see you all thinking it's a good idea.

(I just struggle with my confidence, and I'm PAWS (post acute withdrawals), so maybe that's why I'm surprised)


Okay, so this one is a little bit more complicated:

Having a history of seizures. A total of nine to be exact, I had also set up a motion detection camera near my bed at home.

Luckily, all the seizures happened at either ER, or at rehab. So I got help quickly, and may have saved my life.

Now, why the motion detection camera, you may wonder?

* I can not remember anything from the seizures. Just the aftermath, when I get panic attacks, confused as hell.

* The main point is that if I happened to get one while at home, I could look back at it, literally. Which again, back to my original point, would help me remember if I got a seizure while sleeping. That's never happened though.

Btw, I do not have epilepsy, concluded after I was appointed to a Neurologogist while at rehab. But my last seizure happened 9 days after my last drink... I felt fine and did absolutely not expect that. Terrifying to think about :/


Being in PAWS....for around 3 weeks now, I just feel so depressed, and just want to sleep

Still, thank you all at SR. I do read, do not post much... my rants are just a mess

BlissWithin

It sounds nice, but it would not work for myself.

After 1 year clean I developed a good technique to visualize my past self, I don't know how to explain how to do it, but it kinda works.

I'm in favor for adding as many tools as you can on your recovery box.