Pressmetilihurt

I didn’t miss being drunk. It was the looking forward to it part. The excitement, the relief. The lightness to the beginning versus the heavy stumbling around part at the end. I got to spend another day with my kid alcohol free. Another day without him seeing me do something obsessively. Still, I felt bored. Muted.

Ghostlight1

I understand. I feel that way sometimes. There's a bottle sitting in the kitchen, it's my roommate's, I thought of that lightness and glow the first couple of drinks would bring. And I've been sober over six years.
Haven't had that feeling in a long time and it's because I'm bored and muted as you so succinctly put it .

Then I remembered, I've never had just a couple of drinks in my life. I'm a drunk and I always will be, but for the first time in years that feeling welled up.
Funny you posted about the same thing. Glad I came here.
I thought the drink through to the end. The remorse, guilt and anxiety I would be full of tomorrow.
I don't need a drink. I really don't need a drink. Huh. Weird.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, they sure helped me.

Dee74

Don;t let the AV set the agenda in your head. You'll find plenty of excitement and joy in sober life.

If that wasn't true this place would be deserted.

Try and stay in today - leaping ahead is not going to do you any favours

D

Berrybean

Maybe think back to the price you've paid in the past for that excitement, relief, and lightness. Play the tape forward - there are no actions without consequences in this game, and sulking about that or letting self-pity in won't make it so - it'll just let resentments take root.

It took me a while to realise my pouting only made things harder for me. It's an inside job!

BB

Hawkeye13

It isn't easy to be a kid with an alcoholic parent--even though it's a bit tough
now, think of the gift you are giving him and really try to be present and there
for him when you are with him.

You know, really listening, asking him questions, staying off your phone, etc.
I see so many parents who have visitation with their kids and both
they and the kids are texting, not talking, not being with each other.

My father was an alcoholic and I grew up almost without contact due to that.
How I wish I could have had whole days with him sober.
He's dead now and I never really knew him at all,
which is doubly sad as people say were were so much alike.

Time is a precious thing, press

D122y

Press,

I went to see a show last night and it was party central.

There was booze everywhere.

Really though, it seemed just a few people were really drunk, but it is hard to tell.

I remember being worried to get up because I knew how much I drank.

That is pathetic.

Anyway, I had a dream last night that I binge drank 2 days in a row. Weird.

In my dream, I kept telling myself, it will stop after the second day, but I felt like maybe...it would happen again.

This booze addiction I have is for life.

Thanks.

BixBees505

D122y...I am confused...did you make it out of the show sober, yourself?

D122y

Yes. I did not drink. Sober as ever.

I'd be fibbing if I said I don't crave anymore.

But, I know the results of drinking and remember how messed up I was.

The addiction is for life.

Thanks

SimplyFree

You might be having a cranky moment, cause those are part of separating ourselves from the thief. You won’t shed a tear when you wake up sober and feeling great in the morning. Besides think about how simply angry you would be at yourself for giving up your sober time. Now that would make me cranky!!!

SportsFan15

This is some of the best advice ever for any post on SR. I really needed this, Dee! Thank you to you and the OP. I didnt realize I was letting the AV set the agenda and basicly lie to me about what sobriety will be like. Ironically, my drunk life was BOR-ING. When I stop and think differently, I truly KNOW I'll do more exciting, genuinely fun stuff in sobriety. I'm nearly 5 months and needed to read this. Thanks to all.