Brookie

Slipped up is such a nice euphamism. More accurate to say I got stinking drunk Friday and Saturday night while my wife was out of town. Probably blacked out, but it's hard to tell when all you do is drink alone, watch TV, and eventually pass out in bed. I could go into details, but you've all heard it all before, and it would sound too much like self pity anyway. Suffice it to say I'm back on Day 2, and I'm still feeling hungover.

Guess that's all I have to say about it. Thought I'd get honest with everybody, anyway.

God bless,
Joe

In memory of miracle

(( Joe)) Glad you back.Foward we go ! Trish

dixielove

((((Joe))))) Pick yourself back up, dust off and you'll be on your way. Just don't look back, look forward and keep moving in that direction. Never ever give up. We are all here for you.

Dixie

ted

HEY BROOKIE,SAME OLD STUFF HUH?
LESSON LEARNED.
I'VE DONE THE SAME MORE THAN I CARE TO THINK.
RIGHT BACK AT IT FRIEND,LOTS OF SUPPORT HERE.
STAY STRONG......ted

2dayzmuse

Onward and upward. Live and learn. Probably not a good time to bring up Step One?

Phinneas

Joe-- Can you get to a meeting? It's not in the falling down, it's in the getting back up... Hang in there.

jojo

KelKel

Hey Joe
Your honesty is a blessing.
As we are blessed to have you here.
Glad you realized that you are not alone.

lulu70

((((((((Joe)))))))) Sorry you had a rough weekend. I like what Jojo said, though. "It's not in the falling down. It's in the getting back up." That's one for me to remember forever!

Glad you're back.

Hugs--

1Marty

Thanks for being honest and letting us know. Wife out of town was also a big trigger for me. So learn from this. Come up with a plan for next time, sweep the rest under the rug and move onward.

Chy

(((((Joe)))) back on the bus friend! Good thing is you've got a future ahead to get this right.

Bonni

((((Joe)))))
Sorry about your rough weekend, but I'm glad to see you made it back. Dont give up, just pick yourself up and keep going. All any of us can do is take one day at a time, and dont look back. Just remember; you are not alone, we're all here for you, to help boost you back up. Love you my friend, Bonni (((big hugs))) :heart:

Brookie

Thanks for saving my seat, y'all. Went to the first meeting I've made in over a week, and called my sponsor for the first time during that period as well (tried to, anyway, but at least I left him a message about what was going on). Tomorrow I'm going back to my home group to pick up a new chip.

LeAnne - Yeah, I've got a lot of work to do on step one. I keep struggling with that one.

Love to you all,
Joe

JaySee

Hey Brookie

Glad you made it back so soon. As I've said before, I think I needed to do all the drinking that I did before I finally accepted that it would never be any different. It's so much easier when I stopped fighting and accepted. Now I'm working on my head, now there's a challenge. (Step 4)

Up and at 'em buddy

much love
JC

squirrelly77

(((JOE)))

We understand...all of us. Thanks for your honesty, you've helped a lot of people here with being truthful. Myself especially!
Good job also on getting to a meeting as soon as you did and calling your sponsor. You're doing great Dylan *lol*! Keep it up.

Danielle

shyQcodep

Hi Joe - welcome back on the bus! As far as working on step one goes, maybe some of us are more subtly sicker that others . I thought I had some understanding of my powerlessness over alcohol and had begun to own the word alcoholic, but I really didn't have a clue just how powerless I was until I had that meltdown and the desperate "want to drink" day three months ago - at a bit over 6 months sober. I didn't drink that day, but I came real close and I sure cried a lot. It was drink or cry, and I chose to cry that day - and to put off drinking until tomorrow (and tomorrow and tomorrow until the crisis was over).

I know people must have been talking about it, but it wasn't until I had that experience that I heard people admitting to having taken a year or two to really accept that they were alcoholics. I remember one guy talked about the difference between "a desire to stop drinking" and "an honest desire to stop drinking". It seems that the first edition of the BB used the term "honest desire", and this guy admitted that when he came in he really didn't have an "honest desire" - it was just to keep his wife happy (and I think that there may have been a judge involved, but those details are a little bit fuzzy ).

Just try to keep the research dry and you should get that "honest desire" in time. For now, just plant yourself in that seat, buckle up for the ride and we don't drink today.

Again, welcome back,
James

Dan

Someone wrote in a post recently...
I don't drink when I'm sober.
I'm still thinking about that one.
What ya think Joe?
Welcome back.

Brookie

I don't know if that's true or not, but I know my head was in a very different place a week ago. Wanted to isolate, stopped going to meetings, stopped calling my sponsor (who is going through a rough time himself). I knew all the warning signs, just didn't care as much just then.

James - Thanks for your post too.

That sums it up pretty well. It seems there's a difference between just not wanting to be a drunk and actually not wanting to drink.

Lots for me to think about here. Thanks for caring everybody.

Dan

I know what you mean Joe, about that phrase...I don't drink when I'm sober.
They tell us in AA that living a sober life is so much more than not drinking. And I believe it surely is, as you probably do.
For me, and only me, it came down to finally believing that the benefits of drinking simply didn't exist anymore. I had to change my way of living, in order to not drink anymore.
So I interpret I don't drink when I'm sober as being the following:
If I'm doing everything I possibly can to find happiness in a day, I hope to have it in me that if I fall short of that goal sometimes, I can accept it, and get on with the rest of my life without having to drown in alcohol because I didn't get what I wanted, if that makes sense.
Again, just for me, the hangovers just aren't worth it anymore.
But I tried a long time though.
Boy did I try.

KelKel

Brookie

KelKel - You've never had a pompous day in your life.

Just returned from doing the thing I dreaded most - picking up a new 24-hour chip from my home group and talking to my sponsor for the first time in almost two weeks. Suffice it to say I've got an extra deep sense of humility right now. I'm starting to feel a little more normal though. I guess it's pretty significant progress that I'm considering sobriety normal, rather than being drunk and hungover.

Thanks again y'all.