Mango blast

Fear is a prison. How were you brave today?
Some days, waking up and rising again are immensely brave actiond.

Mango blast

Two things I did:

Spoke my voice.

Closed up all the curtains, locked the doors, in a ritual of self-protection and cocooning. Not in fear. In standing up for myself.

honeypig

What a great idea for a daily thread, ktf! I've taken part in several threads about how I'm taking care of myself or being kind to myself on a daily basis, but I don't know if I've seen a daily thread about how I've been brave!

Right now I have to get out the door to work, but I will be back for sure. Thanks for this!

Mango blast

Fear acronym: false evidence appearing real.

Fear can hurt me. Fear can help me. It can say I'm responding to personal abuse in a healthy way. It can help me see what I don't want so I can deliberately choose to move towards what I do want.

Facing my fears has been scary. The more I see how I am brave, the more I gain self confidence.

honeypig

ktf, I just a few days ago signed up for a daily email from this site: Bikram Yoga Austin, Lakeway | BeneFIT Bikram Yoga

Here is what today's email said:
Daily Dose of Inspiration

“Courage is fear that has said its prayers and decided to go forward anyway.”

~ Joyce Meyer

Though it may appear that you lack support, you never go it alone. Relax, all you need to do is ask for guidance, be open to receiving it, and let your vision carry you through the fear.

And yes, it also helps to know that there is no such thing as failure. Remember, the rewards are on the other side.

It kind of seems like there's a theme here, doesn't it? I never know where, how or when the next step in recovery is going to show itself...

53500

This is a timely thread for me also. Is it better to push through and do the thing you fear? Assuming it's something you can do. Or wait until you feel better?

FireSprite

GREAT thread!!

I once read that you don't have to let go of fear in order to make progress through something.... that you can carry it with you until it either dissolves on it's own in the process or transforms into something more positive like love & appreciation. That really resonated for me.

FireSprite

The last couple of weeks through the hurricane & it's aftermath have been nothing but a test of my courage & bravery.

I have this Brene classic posted in my kitchen & read it every day:

MANIFESTO OF THE BRAVE AND BROKENHEARTED

There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers
Than those of us who are willing to fall
Because we have learned how to rise

With skinned knees and bruised hearts;
We choose owning our stories of struggle,
Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.

When we deny our stories, they define us.
When we run from struggle, we are never free.
So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye.

We will not be characters in our stories.
Not villains, not victims, not even heroes.

We are the authors of our lives.
We write our own daring endings.

We craft love from heartbreak,
Compassion from shame,
Grace from disappointment,
Courage from failure.

Showing up is our power.
Story is our way home.
Truth is our song.
We are the brave and brokenhearted.
We are rising strong.


I also refer to her formula for building trust (both internal & in external relationships):

She breaks trust down into several elements. Using the acronym BRAVING, each element is explained below. Wordage for the BRAVING acronym/checklist is taken directly from her book:

B – Boundaries. You respect my boundaries and when you are not clear about what’s OK and what’s not OK, you ask. You are willing to say no.

R – Reliability. You do what you say you’ll do. At work this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so that you don’t over-promise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities.

A – Accountability. You own your mistakes, apologize, and make amends.

V – Vault. You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept and that you are not sharing with me information about other people that should be confidential.

I – Integrity. You choose courage over comfort. You choose what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy. And you choose to practice your values rather than simply professing them.

N – Non-judgment. I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgment.

G – Generosity. You extend the most generous interpretation possible to the intentions, words and actions of others.


Ironically, I just picked up her newest book, "Braving the Wilderness" last night. I cannot wait to dig in!

Smarie78

Today is the 6th day I have not contacted qualifier. I miss him terribly, but I know that reaching him would bring pain. I don't know where he is or if he is ok, but I am doing my best to keep myself healthy. Going to work, surrounding myself with loved ones, and not thinking too much about what is beyond my control. I am working on thinking about and accepting what is and not what I wish to be - even if it is painful.

honeypig

Bravo, FireSprite, GREAT post!

Someone posted this on SR some time ago, and I saved it. Sounds akin to what you said about not needing to be 100% free of fear before moving ahead:

"You don't need to let go of all your fear before you are ready to experience love. You can pick up your fears in your arms and carry them into the love with you. For once you step into love, fear shows itself up for the illusion it's always been, and love is all that remains."

~ Eric Pearl, The Reconnection

firebolt

I broke up with a guy yesterday that I've been hanging out with for almost 3 months. He just wasn't for me. In fact, he has some pretty clear codependency issues....ones I had 5 years ago. Humorous, painful, and quite a reality check to see them from this side.... and pretty proud of myself for not hanging around and waiting for him to get better....and for not stringing someone else along on the backburner for a soft place to land at the end of this. I typically HATE change, but right now am so glad I have changed! Thanks to the courageous ones here that braved this recovery road before me...I wouldn't be here without you all!

FireSprite

That was me, lol. I forgot the full quote but I remembered the book & author. Another great book in my spiritual recovery.

Fire - way to go!!!!

honeypig

Ha, FS, I think you are the 3rd person so far to say "oh, yeah, that was me that posted that!" when I've dug various different things out of the archives!

And firebolt--I can't imagine how great it is to actually consciously make a decision about a relationship instead of just drifting w/the tide. Kudos on your actions as well as your insights!

lizatola

I have an old journal entry titled 'fear' that I wrote before I left my XAH. Fear is my biggest enemy, yet also my best self awareness tool I have. Balancing the good vs the bad here is where I struggle most. Thank you for this topic!

53500

Thank you, that's really good.

honeypig

I'd like to post this portion of Teddy Roosevelt's "The Man in the Arena" speech, which you may have heard elsewhere already, and which Brene Brown quotes in "Daring Greatly":

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

She talks about this in the context of shame, but it totally works for fear, too.

honeypig

qtpi

Fear is temporary. Regret can be permanent.

Seren

Bravery....I am being challenged on that front quite a bit lately, but can't share all of it here. This week, even though I hate confrontation, I had to talk to my supervisor about the fact that the alcoholism a coworker was bleeding more and more into the work environment--and that although he hadn't crossed any lines "yet", his attentions were making one young woman in the department very uncomfortable.

And I did it! It wasn't nearly as horrible as I had imagined, but I was willing to do so for everyone's sake in my little group at work.

The rest is FOO stuff that I just can't even begin to unpack here without it becoming a novel

honeypig

Seren, that is a brave move for sure! Kudos to you for doing it.