Two little lives that are in danger
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 3
Two little lives that are in danger
Hello, I am hoping that somone can point me in the right direction here. My family need help. Here's the situation. My sister has two little girls of 8 and 10 she is a functioning alcoholic and attends regular AA meetings. However, she has not stopped drinking and its getting worse. The girls are aware that mummy drinks and they are scared to be left on there own. My mother is around nearly 24/7 but she is an old woman and has arthritis. The father is very supportive and always around for them but my sister has custody. I know she has not hit rock bottom and as a family we are worried for the kids development and lives. We do not want thus to end in tragedy! I was hoping to find a programme like hug first that support families before social services get involved. Does anyone know of any service that we can get in touch with that can help those kids?
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
it seems that the father has the most leverage, and legal rights to act. he could seek a temporary order of some sort. counselors at the children's school may be of help, but they are obligated to report to social services is their safety is at risk.
it's an awful situation. i'm very sorry.
it's an awful situation. i'm very sorry.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 3
Hello. Thank you for your reply.
I have decided that my sister needs more professional help and so do we as a family. I am going to lay an action plan down for us to follow this will include going to relate as a family Mum Sister and me to discuss issues that my sister has that I feel are triggering her drinking. Myself and my sister will start the online UK smart recovery programme. (I have negative behaviour pattern too) and I will go with my mum Al anon meetings.
I am going to lay this plan out for us and include the father in this plan. He is a little bit too relaxed about the situation because he knows my mum will always be around to cover when my sister has had a drink and not leave those girls on their own with her. This is a little unfair on my mum.
I will also say if this is not kept to then I will ask the father to take a more presence in the care of the children. As their uncle I have a duty of care over their lives as we all do but my sister is not fit to look after them all the time and on her own. My mother is just enabling the drinking by being there to pick up the pieces.
If this plan is kept to then we will be getting somewhere. If not I will get social services involved to ensure that a plan of care is put in place.
I will not let those children suffer or allow something terrible to happen because I didn't act.
What do you think?
I have decided that my sister needs more professional help and so do we as a family. I am going to lay an action plan down for us to follow this will include going to relate as a family Mum Sister and me to discuss issues that my sister has that I feel are triggering her drinking. Myself and my sister will start the online UK smart recovery programme. (I have negative behaviour pattern too) and I will go with my mum Al anon meetings.
I am going to lay this plan out for us and include the father in this plan. He is a little bit too relaxed about the situation because he knows my mum will always be around to cover when my sister has had a drink and not leave those girls on their own with her. This is a little unfair on my mum.
I will also say if this is not kept to then I will ask the father to take a more presence in the care of the children. As their uncle I have a duty of care over their lives as we all do but my sister is not fit to look after them all the time and on her own. My mother is just enabling the drinking by being there to pick up the pieces.
If this plan is kept to then we will be getting somewhere. If not I will get social services involved to ensure that a plan of care is put in place.
I will not let those children suffer or allow something terrible to happen because I didn't act.
What do you think?
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: WI
Posts: 1,426
Dear Yogio,
Welcome to our family and to the life of loving a family member who has this crazy disease.
Would your sister be willing to go to an inpatient program? Maybe something more than AA can offer ( she will most likely be allowed to attend AA meeting
at an inpatient program) AA is for her and Al-anon is strictly for YOU and your support & care.
It sounds like those beautiful girls can be cared for by their father and other
members of the family, so no need to involve CPS, yet. And, in my situation, we
had professional ppl to help with my daughters intervention.
Can you consult with a Dr? Get your "ducks" in order, have a plan, call the insurance company or whoever pays her healthcare
and see if and who they will cover for detox and rehab, if
she's willing to go. (That's a big "if") Add, Consequences & boundaries to your
vocabulary, and stick to them.
The girls are at an impressionable age. They want their mom back and healthy and only she can do that. We/you can't fix this one.
The professionals can help you
on how to explain the disease and inpatient therapy. This is a brain disease... but there also
is hope, sweet precious hope. Remember that word...
Keep close to us Yogio, SR is an excellent support group and so is F2F talk.
Tight hugs to you and to your family as you continue on this painful journey.
Take care of the girls and yourself, first, then support your sister..
TF
Welcome to our family and to the life of loving a family member who has this crazy disease.
Would your sister be willing to go to an inpatient program? Maybe something more than AA can offer ( she will most likely be allowed to attend AA meeting
at an inpatient program) AA is for her and Al-anon is strictly for YOU and your support & care.
It sounds like those beautiful girls can be cared for by their father and other
members of the family, so no need to involve CPS, yet. And, in my situation, we
had professional ppl to help with my daughters intervention.
Can you consult with a Dr? Get your "ducks" in order, have a plan, call the insurance company or whoever pays her healthcare
and see if and who they will cover for detox and rehab, if
she's willing to go. (That's a big "if") Add, Consequences & boundaries to your
vocabulary, and stick to them.
The girls are at an impressionable age. They want their mom back and healthy and only she can do that. We/you can't fix this one.
The professionals can help you
on how to explain the disease and inpatient therapy. This is a brain disease... but there also
is hope, sweet precious hope. Remember that word...
Keep close to us Yogio, SR is an excellent support group and so is F2F talk.
Tight hugs to you and to your family as you continue on this painful journey.
Take care of the girls and yourself, first, then support your sister..
TF
Last edited by Twofish; 09-10-2017 at 03:36 PM. Reason: Spelling
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 3
Thank you twofish.
I have thought about inpatient programme but not sure if she's in the right frame of mind to take that step. I can only ask. I could consult with a doctor and get the father to take more of the load. He would be willing to do that. She is seeing professional people but then it doesn't seem that she is using those sessions in a positive way. She keeps repeating the same emotions over and over again and the same issues. She will not face them in herself. She will just project on to her daughter's and bullies everyone else.
We will get there though with hope and love
I have thought about inpatient programme but not sure if she's in the right frame of mind to take that step. I can only ask. I could consult with a doctor and get the father to take more of the load. He would be willing to do that. She is seeing professional people but then it doesn't seem that she is using those sessions in a positive way. She keeps repeating the same emotions over and over again and the same issues. She will not face them in herself. She will just project on to her daughter's and bullies everyone else.
We will get there though with hope and love
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