Pressmetilihurt

I'm back again. I keep thinking drinking will help. Or I won't be stupid. I'm starting to wonder if my brain really is wrong. I can't surrender. I'm 2 days sober and I don't even want to have an epiphanies. It will just be bs. I can't drink. Period. And I have to be shackled to a stupid program. I don't want to go to meetings. Or do the other stupid ****. But I guess I have to if I wanna be sober. I have no idea. Just shame.

August252015

Glad you made it back.

I hope that you will give sobriety a legit chance this time- as the mind clears, a lot of thinking about what's stupid or not, what sobriety brings to us v takes from us, etc....change.

Don't drink- today.

D122y

Press,

We are all different. Some need a program. Some don't.

I relate to not wanting to be locked into meetings and having to call people to stay sober. This form of recovery is my last resort.

I suffered in my home for months. I prayed, worked out, and lived.

I got used to the suffering and after over a year, it felt normal.

Suffering felt normal. Then it went away.

Now I deal w forgetting how I suffered so I don't slip back in.

For me, med free always, I had to go through hell to get to this state of Grace.

And....it is still getting better.

Thanks.

totfit

We just have to come to an internal understanding/awakening about the fact that we can't in any way control the effect that C2H5OH has on us. It is really a pretty simple solution just not to ingest it. The issue is that for some it takes a long period of time to internalize this. It may or may not take meetings, therapy, or other types of support, but we have to have these facts imprinted in our brain. When that becomes firmly in place, things become much easier. It just takes different things for different folks to arrive here and unfortunately many do not ever grasp this fully. We also have to realize that there is a better life that awaits without ingesting C2H5OH.

tomsteve

nope, ya dont have to be shackled to a stupid program.you can continue being shackled to your own program in what reads like a rather miserable existence.a continuous horrible cycle that will only get worse.

theres no shame in admitting defeat. to win the battle i had to surrender.

i found the best feeling came when i finally surrendered- admitted my way only got me drunk and i knew nuthin about stopping drinking or living sober. that gave me some humility to learn.

i had some kickin and screaming goin on for a while- hearing what i needed to hear and doing what i didnt want to.
but it was well worth it.

ardy

you just have to find what might work for you.. and your brain.. its hard kiddo .. and a lot of work.. but you will make it .. I promise.. a mom

AnvilheadII

that stupid program helps a lot of alcoholics live successful happy alcohol free lives. and they are no longer shackled to a bottle.......just sayin.

you most certainly CAN surrender - to one simple concept. that you cannot drink alcohol in any amount AND have a happy productive life. once the alcohol is set down permanently all sorts of amazing things happen.

Anna

I have never regarded recovery as being shackled to a program.

Recovery has set me free.

hpdw

I hope you find what works for you and go on living a sober life . I am only 5 weeks sober this time , I need commitment and hard work . If it means me going back to AA I will , I will do whatever it takes because i,m sick of feeling sick with drinking . Can I repeat !its what works for you and you need to surrender and be commited to this .

Great answers above .

hpdw

Oooops , sorry I didnt mean that first text to be so large !!!!!

Dee74

I think regardless of method, you need the commitment and motivation to change, and the acceptance of where that next drink will take you.

Some people never reach that point - but you're lucky in that you can reread your old threads - and other peoples too.

You have the proof of what drinking means for you.

Now you have to accept it....

I hope you decide to change your life for good Press.

D

ardy

what Dee is saying is so very true.. listen to your heart and follow a better path...

Pressmetilihurt

I went to some "stupid" meetings. Cried at one. Laughed thru the other. It was all so..heartfelt. God. I want this. I'm grateful for the program.


QUOTE=AnvilheadII;6599027]that stupid program helps a lot of alcoholics live successful happy alcohol free lives. and they are no longer shackled to a bottle.......just sayin.

you most certainly CAN surrender - to one simple concept. that you cannot drink alcohol in any amount AND have a happy productive life. once the alcohol is set down permanently all sorts of amazing things happen.[/QUOTE]

FreedomCA

I realized that for me, I needed the AA program to get sober, as I was always relapsing before. Sometimes I wish I didn't need a program, but the reality is that I just do.

teaorcoffee

There are many ways to stay sober. I think it is important to work out what works for you.

I know that for me, finding this site was important, as it gave me a route to sobriety without AA. I know that there are many AA advocates here, but it's not my thing, and thinking that AA was the only route forward was keeping me from getting sober.

Find your thing, find your truth and hang onto that.