AwkwardKitty

Its just 2am here which means its now day 10 for me *takes a bow*

Tonight has been tough, I have a banging headache, weird appetite, feel a bit woozy, and really craving between 9 and 11pm. Husband has been out with friends and just come back pretty drunk and absolutely stinking of beer. Its really stoked my cravings, my self pity *its not fair, why cant i go out and drink, why do i have to be left home with the baby all night suffering with nobody to talk to*, the smell, I could just have a couple now.

Husband left a couple of ales in the fridge when he went out. I went in for something and my mind momentarily said just have one of them, its saturday, relax, you deserve it, its been a hard week. But I didnt.

AnvilheadII

why do i have to be left home with the baby all night

because you have been graced with the gift of motherhood? because that small human relies solely on the adults/caretakers in her life to take care of her every need. that child doesn't get a choice. YOU DO.

AwkwardKitty

Yeah thanks for picking up on that one bit but I am fully aware of my blessed position having had fertility issues and being blessed with my wonderful son.

Excuse me but I think you kind of missed the point. It was my AV self pity talking as I said.

Dee74

I'm glad you didn't drink

The more I built a sober life for myself that I enjoyed the less what other people did bothered me

hang in there

D

Jezzi

Good for you not grabbing that drink. Stick with it

Jules714

Good job passing on the drink.
We can't have just one.
I started looking at "I deserve it" as...what do I deserve? Misery? I'll pass.
It's not easy, but the changes you see. The pride in being strong? Priceless.
You're doing great!
Jules

Mummyto2

After BBQ, I have banned alcohol from house, I am not screwing up my recovery for anyone, if husband wants a drink he can go out to the bar, even though I got through the BBQ with friends, I am not being made to feel uncomfortable in my own home, well done for getting through it

Maudcat

Good for you, kitty.
Could you broach this subject with partner?
As in, " I am not drinking, and I don't want it in the house right now. Too tempting."
4 years in, I'm not triggered by having alcohol, wine, mostly, in the house.
But early on, that would have been really hard for me.
Just a thought.

lookinforward

Most definitely difficult early on in Recovery...My partner Still drinks and I was resentful in the beginning. I finally sat down and talked to her and let her know that I am really working on sobriety to better not only my life but our entire house hold. I think letting her know how It was affecting me helped. I asked her to step into my shoes and how would she feel and luckily she got it. She backed off when i said...I am going to bed or going for a ride or a walk or whatever...knowing I needed and sometimes still need to distance myself from the presence of alcohol. It is easier to deal with now, but some situations still warrant me cutting my stay short somewhere or going to bed early or simply going out to get fresh air when I am not comfortable with my alcoholic surroundings....I am in control and there is no better feeling than that...My non drinking environment kinda reminds me of people complaining of what is on the tv....just turn the channel....It works for me....Just my 2cents D

Gemini1967

Well done! I don't kmow if I could do this with alcohol in the fridge. ☺

DaisyBlueNew

Good going Kitty. Day 10 for me today too! My partner drinks every day all day. I find we have absolutely nothing in common anymore. He resents me for not drinking and I wonder what the heck I've been doing with the last 20 years of my life. Last night I saw all those cold beer in the fridge and thought ahhhh, it's Saturday. No one even has to know. But I went for a walk instead. Woke up today happy I didn't. Today it's sunny and and a holiday Sunday. Tempted already at 10 am in the morning but going to do everything I can to stay strong.
Lookingforward I do what you do... go for a walk, go to bed early etc. I hope my life regains some excitement eventually. I realize that my whole life basically revolved around drinking and now I'm lost and have to start all over again.

nmd

It took a long while for me to find my own sober routine and for my wife to accept it. It is very difficult in the beginning, and I would have pitty parties for myself on how i had support from strangers but not at home.

Some of the best advice I've had on here is that sobriety is an inside job. Using a lack of support from others as an excuse to drink is just that, an excuse. Getting sober has been an exercise in building boundaries. I am responsible for my sobriety. My wife's drinking is her responsibility. At first my getting sober was seen as a threat to her, but over time she's not only accepted it but knows and has opened up about needing to do something about her own drinking. She's also come to trust that my being sober is permanent, but it takes time to build that sort of trust. I love my wife dearly and hope she stops drinking, but i can't control that.

Congratulations on your 10days and good luck on your sober path!

ReadyAtLast

Hope you're ok today Kitty. I know how hard it is. When I quit last time my ex husband kept drinking. I think the only reason I managed it was because I didn't like the drink he drank. If I had I'm sure I would have been tempted.

Well done you for not giving in. Be proud of yourself